[The gay joke is a trifle unnecessary, but nice work all the same.--OPS]
AMES, IA -- The hits just keep coming for the Iowa State athletic department.
Today, Athletic Director Jamie Pollard announced that the school's storied mascot, Cy, has informed him that he will be leaving next week to take the mascot position at Iowa Central Community College in Fort Dodge, Iowa.
"It is with a sad heart that I announce that Cy will be leaving," Pollard said during a misty-eyed press conference Monday morning. "His hard work and dedication throughout the years have been a great service to the University."
The decision wasn't easy for Cy, who was chosen as the top mascot in the nation during the Capital One Bowl Week Mascot Challenge in 2009.
"In the end, it was about finding out who I really was," Cy told reporters during a statement given outside of Jack Trice Stadium. "I mean, I really don't even know what I'm supposed to be. We're the Cyclones and I'm a bird. It doesn't make any fucking sense, does it? At least at Iowa Central, I'll get to carry a big fucking pitchfork and stuff. What do I get here? An inflatable helmet and a bunch of fog machines?"
Early rumors indicated that Cy's salary at ICCC will be upward of $450 a week, nearly four times what he had been making at Iowa State.
"They've got the facilities, they've got the best mascot prospects in the nation in Fort Dodge. Have you been to the flats? There's some talent there," he said. "This is what's best for me and my partner. We really wanted to stay in Iowa because of the gay marriage ban being uplifted, so this is a win-win."
Pollard expects a replacement search to begin immediately. Early candidates are rumored to be Troy Davis, Kenny Pratt and Jason Berryman.