NEW BHGP CONTEST
by Adam Jacobi on Apr 15, 2009 10:40 AM CDT
51 comments
This is 81 seconds of Ken O'Keefe talking about the offense as they near the end of spring practices:
We can condense those 81 seconds to this sentence: "We have held practices this spring, and players have competed for positions in the offense."
That's 15 words. Whoever can further condense KOK's statement the most (and no just saying " " or "............."; that's too obvious and no fun for anyone else) while still capturing the essence of what he said* wins, like, a Beyond Photoshop portrait of what we think you look like. Or of something else, whatever.
Get crackin'.
*This, of course, turns the contest into a judgment call, or in other words, we can decide whoever we want to be the winner. Deal with it.
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“We’re talking about practice, man.”
by Angle's Dangle on Apr 15, 2009 11:01 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
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The kids, they practiced..I learned nothing
by psu1313 on Apr 15, 2009 11:09 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
“Shit if I know anything.”
Have a "great HD day!" - Jay Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Apr 15, 2009 11:12 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
“Everyone’s focused on trying to get better at their position.”
by Buddy Light on Apr 15, 2009 11:39 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
“Learn better fundamentals competition obviously balls scrimmage boobs.”
by txhawkeye on Apr 15, 2009 11:48 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
“Rest assured, we’re doing, uh, stuff.”
Have a "great HD day!" - Jay Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Apr 15, 2009 11:51 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
/endorses back of paycheck, laughs
by Bucketochicken on Apr 15, 2009 11:52 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
It should be noted that the aforementioned action took 24.5 seconds to almost complete, at which point a timeout had to be called.
by Bucketochicken on Apr 15, 2009 1:06 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
WIN WIN WIN FIGHT TRY BEST COMPETE EXCLAMATION POINT
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Hawkeye State on Apr 15, 2009 11:55 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
12 words
Will you marry me?
Will you marry me?
Will you marry me?
by Duez I say on Apr 15, 2009 12:01 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
“In spring practice, no positions assumed.”
And hey all, I’ve been a lurker.
by hawkeyeonized on Apr 15, 2009 12:15 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Spring Practice… Player compete… Dur… Dur…
by BradBanks4ever on Apr 15, 2009 12:58 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Dammit, it's already been done but......
COMPETE! IMPROVE! WIN!
-K. O’Brewster
by HawkeyePapyrus on Apr 15, 2009 1:16 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Spring practice is about player competition and fundamentals.
Iowa Basketball: We don't rebuild, we implode.
by three and out the kok story on Apr 15, 2009 1:33 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
"The kids have mastered ALL four plays already."
Apparently facts are weak things when they face personal philosophies.
by CUNKNNK on Apr 15, 2009 1:34 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
"Shonn Greene gone. Ken sad."
Apparently facts are weak things when they face personal philosophies.
by CUNKNNK on Apr 15, 2009 1:36 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
"Sadly, the very thought of practice caused Moeaki to injure himself."
Have a "great HD day!" - Jay Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Apr 15, 2009 1:58 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
That doesn't capture the essence at all, but I don't care
Have a "great HD day!" - Jay Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Apr 15, 2009 1:58 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
See you in September, and thanks
… for Tony’s bulletin board material!
Mr. Boh Knows ...
by Bellanca on Apr 15, 2009 7:05 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Unfortunately
Tony herniated a cervical disc while glancing upward at the bulletin board. Thanks Bellanca.
by Angle's Dangle on Apr 16, 2009 12:28 AM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
“Today I was watching Ricky Stanzi very carefully and noticed that he was throwing with his right hand. I told him to stop messing around and throw it properly, but he claimed he’s always done it that way. I explained to him that I didn’t have any offensive plays that could accomodate such a prominent mechanical flaw and advised him to try switching it to the other hand. He said that he couldn’t because he wasn’t ambidextrous. I told him that his sexual orientation has nothing to do with it, then I went and told Kirk on him. Mr. Ferentz said I was doing such a good job I could go home early. That made me happy because I got to watch the Smurfs. Gargamel reminds me of that Paterno guy. I wish I had an ice cream cone.”
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Apr 15, 2009 2:32 PM CDT reply actions 4 recs
Wait, what does "condense" mean?
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Apr 15, 2009 2:33 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I don't know, but that rocked
Have a "great HD day!" - Jay Paterno
by ReadingRambler on Apr 15, 2009 2:48 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's not true.
He has plenty of roll out lefts for right handed QBs
by chitownhawkeye on Apr 15, 2009 5:15 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Players call me
Ken O’Queef.
But I prefer Queefer Sutherland.
by Ed Podolak of Good Judgement on Apr 15, 2009 4:02 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I stopped when he said
“point in time”. I don’t do Washingtonian PR speak in regard to fuht-bahl.
Is he in the John Carroll University Hall of Fame yet?
Does anyone at JCU even remember KOK?
I’m being mean, I know, I know, and so does …
Mr. Boh Knows ...
by Bellanca on Apr 15, 2009 7:13 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I got Summer hatin' on me cuz I'm hotter than the sun. Spring hatin' on me cuz I ain't never sprung
Winter hatin' on me cuz I'm colder than Y'all. And I will never, I will never, I will never Fall.
-Lil Wayne, Mr. Carter
by shake n bake on Apr 15, 2009 7:13 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I like you
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Apr 15, 2009 7:37 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I just translate the greatness of others into Lolcat form
I stand on the shoulders of giants.
I got Summer hatin' on me cuz I'm hotter than the sun. Spring hatin' on me cuz I ain't never sprung
Winter hatin' on me cuz I'm colder than Y'all. And I will never, I will never, I will never Fall.
-Lil Wayne, Mr. Carter
by shake n bake on Apr 15, 2009 8:23 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
How the can Moeaki make his teammates better by practicing?
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
by pfac51 on Apr 15, 2009 11:48 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Not mean.
Okay, not feeling mean. The KOK may only have seven plays, but they’re the right seven if all eleven men get to the right spot, and given that football since Paul Brown has been about, and only about, geometry and arithmetic mismatches he’s not wrong. They won’t be stopped this year either, if the line’s zone scheme can get to the second level and the quarterback continues to get the ball over the top during those few times the opponents load their safeties into the box. He does know one true thing, and it does work, and it will work. Two against one always works. With luck, this year, we will get one of the seven plays into the huddle on time, also. It’s an autistic success, this offense, requiring of our idiot savant OC.
Mr. Boh Knows ...
by Bellanca on Apr 16, 2009 5:57 AM CDT reply actions 0 recs
“I don’t have to outrun the bear, I just have to out run you.”
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
by HoyaGoon on Apr 16, 2009 1:58 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
We practiced.
“We practiced. No one got raped. It was a good day.”
by JW2525 on Apr 21, 2009 12:32 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
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