REMARCHIFORNICATION BRACKET MADNESS ROUND ONE: CORNSHOE HAMMAKER VS. SMELLEY COCK

Here is what most considered the first real Day of Reckoning at BHGP. Cornshoe Hammaker and Smelley Cock are both, for all intents and purposes, entirely creations of the BHGP staff; whom the audience favors may go a long way in determining the direction of the site. Or OPS, HS, JHC, and HFMR may not give one single shit.

#4 SEED: CORNSHOE HAMMAKER

Tournament bid: Automatic (won Colonial Conference bid)

Pros

• Took over the Civil War
• Named one of our most epic commenters ever
• Killed Charlie Weis with his trusty Civil War cannon

Cons

• Must be at least 150 years old
  
• Wears corn for shoes

Statement

Stand right over there

BOOM

(you get decapitated in gloriously violent fashion)

Cornshoe Hammaker rides again!

#5 SEED: SMELLEY COCK

Tournament bid: Conference champion (even though we normally despise the SEC)

Pros

• Fueled an entire month at BHGP
• Played like shit in the bowl game
• Transferred because it's all the coach's fault

Cons

• What could we possibly add?
• Except that he got passed over for this

Statement

I think I smell like unwashed feet and stale farts

Or in other words, Quizno's

Why does that place stink like old fat people