REMARCHIFORNICATION BRACKET MADNESS ROUND ONE: JAY PATERNO VS. TIM BREWSTER
by Adam Jacobi on Mar 5, 2009 10:30 AM CST
in Iowa Hawkeyes Game Threads
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Print#4 SEED: JAY PATERNO
Tournament bid: Legacy
Pros
- Led PSU to an 11-1 regular season record
- This was the "1"
- Impregnated Fergie
Cons
- Might actually be a child in a man's body, like that one Tom Hanks movie
- Campaigned for a new president on company time
Statement
I like treats! Vote for me and I will make treats affordable for everyone! Yes we can! Gobama! Not Alabama, Obama, silly! :-)
#5 TIM BREWSTER
Tournament bid: BHGP invitation
Pros
- Is tremendously optimistic about everything
- Offered up this gem of a game...
- ...and this one...
- ...and this one
- Sucks so bad
Cons
- Has motivational Tourrette's
- Looks corpse-like and creepy
- Will recruit just about anybody, with disastrous results
- Sucks so bad
Statement
FIGHT TRY WIN BEST FIGHT GAME WIN GOPHERS GO SPEED HIT YES HARD WIN VINCE YOUNG BEST GO TRY MINNESOTA FIGHT WIN
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I voted for Brewster
“Hey, let’s throw three straight times on our opening possesion in Iowa when it’s minus-20 and the winds are blowing 30 MPH!”
And how is getting Fergie pregnant a pro? Do we really want her spewing her spawn forth upon the good people of Earth?
Well, fine
Here’s the link: http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/images/d/d4/Brewsterprotest.jpg
by ReadingRambler on Mar 5, 2009 2:18 PM CST up reply actions
403 Forbidden
Forbidden
You don’t have permission to access /images/d/d4/Brewsterprotest.jpg on this server.
Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.
EPIC FAIL
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Go here
http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/index.php?title=Minnesota_Golden_Gophers
Scroll down
If that doesn’t work, then whatever. I don’t care.
by ReadingRambler on Mar 5, 2009 3:04 PM CST up reply actions
Iowa State's SAS Wiki is in serious need of a good editing
It’s not even worth reading at this point. In fact, it sounds as if it was written by a rogue school administrator. It would actually almost be funny if I wasn’t so sure the person writing it was being serious.
It is the most popular and well-known school in the state, admired for rigorous admissions standards and quality of education.
Iowa State is known for their basketball squad and the feared arena that is Hilton Coliseum.
Iowa State is located in the lively city of Ames
Coach McCarney has led Iowa State to unprecedented success, leading the team to 7 win seasons consistently
often considered the social and cultural capital of Iowa
This is the kind of reckless misinformation that gives the Internet a bad name. Think if children read that.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 5, 2009 5:23 PM CST up reply actions
Well
Technically, I suppose there is life in Ames.
And McCarney did lead Iowa State to “unprecedented success”. snicker
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 5, 2009 7:25 PM CST up reply actions
This is a tough one...
as they both provide comic relief. I think Brewster though because Galen Hall was really running the offense in every game except for that ONE.
But don't let the facts get the way of a good argument . . .
I believe the players kicked off the team were Mason’s recruits.
Do you expect us to believe that?
Brewster went back in time to recruit them. Doy.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
I came here sure I was going to vote for Paterno
But goddammit, Brewster is so motivating. He makes me want to dance in oncoming traffic.
by shada's revenge on Mar 5, 2009 12:09 PM CST reply actions
I voted for Brewster
because he called and recruited me to do so. I feel like I can run through an internet wall for this guy.
I also think he offered me a football scholarship. I’m 42 years old.
wait a second....
no f$%king way jay led anyone in an 11-1 season.
jay can’t handle a wet dream, let alone be a leader.
World F#$king Champions
I'm confused
In your comment, you used the word “f$%king.” I used my powers of deductive reasoning to conclude that the $ = u and the % = c. So “f$%king” = fucking. Right?
Well then I look down at your signature and see “F#$king.” Since we’ve already figured out that $ = u, what we have left is f#uking. I’m guessing the phrase, then, is “World Fluking Champions?” What does that mean? Is that right? Maybe if you provided a key……
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 5, 2009 5:34 PM CST up reply actions
And Brew clinging to a slim 13 vote lead...
Yikes. Still waiting on west coast returns? Gonna be a close one…
by Bucketochicken on Mar 5, 2009 11:04 PM CST up reply actions
Jay got screwed...again
Not only did Jay get screwed by Fergie, he is getting screwed here. He is no doubt the obvious winner. How you all can vote for a Motivational Tourette speaker is beyond me!
TOUCHDOWN IOWA! TOUCHDOWN IOWA! - Gary Dolphin
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