#4 SEED: JAY PATERNO

Tournament bid: Legacy

Pros

• Led PSU to an 11-1 regular season record
• This was the "1"
• Impregnated Fergie

Cons

• Might actually be a child in a man's body, like that one Tom Hanks movie
• Campaigned for a new president on company time

Statement

 I like treats! Vote for me and I will make treats affordable for everyone! Yes we can! Gobama! Not Alabama, Obama, silly! :-)

#5 TIM BREWSTER

Tournament bid: BHGP invitation

Pros

• Is tremendously optimistic about everything
• Offered up this gem of a game...
• ...and this one...
• ...and this one
• Sucks so bad

Cons

• Has motivational Tourrette's
• Looks corpse-like and creepy
• Will recruit just about anybody, with disastrous results
• Sucks so bad

Statement

 FIGHT TRY WIN BEST FIGHT GAME WIN GOPHERS GO SPEED HIT YES HARD WIN VINCE YOUNG BEST GO TRY MINNESOTA FIGHT WIN