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Around SBN: Dan Marino Starting College For Developmentally Disabled

REMARCHIFORNICATION BRACKET MADNESS ROUND 2: SECRETARY VS. RON ZOOK

Iconsecretary_medium Hi people, this is Secretary.

Zookicon_medium So I get to the site, and boom, first thing outta Luis' mouth is, "Rick's here," and I think I told you a couple weeks ago, this is like Rick's building himself. Same dude that owns like halfa that Westdale Office Park. Yeah.

Iconsecretary_medium I'd just like to remind you that Bracket Madness is still going on, despite being derailed by the Iowa basketball apocalypse and that NCAA thing.

Zookicon_medium So whatever, I'm up on the third floor getting the girders done, then the foreman tells me I gotta get Rick some ice cream. Me. And I go, you kiddin me? I'm a welder, I don't do no errands, come on, get serious, y'know?

Iconsecretary_medium I'm going against this man, Ron Zook, today.

Zookicon_medium He says no, ice cream's the top priority, he says. Top priority. You kiddin' me, you know. So I ask what kind and this is what he tells me, he says, "mocha nut fudge." I'm thinkin' okay, this is, this has gotta be a prank,

Iconsecretary_medium You may not recognize him, since he thinks he's a construction worker in some suburb out east.

Zookicon_medium so I grab my ass and I says "all right, gimme about 2 hours for lunch to pass through and I got your mocha nut fudge," and foreman gets all pissed.

Iconsecretary_medium And as long as I keep hiding his Red Bull, he's pretty much stuck.

Zookicon_medium So this Rick, Turns out Rick's a diabetic, but since he got all that money, he's all particular about it.

Iconsecretary_medium If you vote against me, why, I might just plain forget where I hid it.

Zookicon_medium So that's what stupid shit I gotta deal with at the site. Meanwhile we're about 3 weeks behind schedule and the Mexicans ain't showing up half the time and Rick can't bring his own damn ice cream with him to work. Fuck outta here...

Iconsecretary_medium Look, I know who's waiting in Round 3. I ain't scared.

Zookicon_medium You ever watch that Larry the Cable Guy fella?

Iconsecretary_medium Vote for me. Because I am going to wreck JoePa's world.

Iconjoepa_medium MISTER PATERNO WILL BE FI

Iconsecretary_medium Fuck you.

Poll
WHO WINS?
Secretary
140 votes
Ron Zook
67 votes

207 votes | Poll has closed

Comment 10 comments  |  0 recs  | 

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It returns!

Yes! I was all set to go with the Zooker and his construction worker delusion and then the Secretary had to get all up in JoePa’s shit… and, well, I think that’s a match-up that needs to be seen.

by RossWB on Mar 31, 2009 10:35 PM CDT reply actions  

Yeah, no one loves the Zooker more than me

But I can’t vote against a possible MR PATERNO vs Secretary matchup.

by NorseHawk on Apr 1, 2009 12:13 AM CDT up reply actions  

what about Zook vs. J Leman???

come on now weve seen the joepa vs secretary matchup at least 5 times already. ZOOK vs PATERNO is all new!!!

by Anonymous Hero on Apr 1, 2009 12:37 AM CDT reply actions  

Did anyone understand JoePa on the NIT broadcast last night?

I’m in awe…and starting to slowly get worried for him. He’s not harmful to anyone….but his comments are slowly getting more and more funny and out of control. His imitation of a Rick Barry foul shot was priceless.

by psu1313 on Apr 1, 2009 7:45 AM CDT reply actions  

They let him go to New York?

With the commies and hippies and Irish?
That can’t have ended well.

by chitownhawkeye on Apr 1, 2009 8:04 AM CDT up reply actions  

DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME I MET ISIAH THOMAS? HE IS TRULY EVIDENCE THAT THE SPORT SHOULD BE PLAYED BY THE JEWS LIKE IT USED TO BE.

"Breaststroke, free style," Rubin said of his technique, "Let’s see Phelps do that one."

by ReadingRambler on Apr 1, 2009 8:26 AM CDT up reply actions  

Why I love secretary....

Turn off Google’s “Safe Search” function and then do an image search for “Secretary” and browse through a few pages.

No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Apr 1, 2009 11:53 PM CDT reply actions  

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