Black Heart Gold Political Cartoons, Volume 1

by Adam Jacobi on Mar 30, 2009 6:22 AM CDT in Iowa Hawkeyes Basketball

Darkestwell_medium

Todd Lickliter says "sometimes it's a little dark before the dawn." Perhaps that's not the most apt analogy.

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There's dawn at the bottom of the well?

by chitownhawkeye on Mar 30, 2009 9:27 AM CDT reply actions

Yes

I’ve been down there.

by DJKHawk on Mar 30, 2009 9:53 AM CDT up reply actions

My point was that there wasn't.

So if that wasn’t clear…. then I suck at this.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Mar 30, 2009 10:00 AM CDT up reply actions

I thought it was always darkest

right before everything goes completely black.

by messyjesse on Mar 30, 2009 10:40 AM CDT reply actions

Completely dark would be acceptable at this point.

Although, Lickliter quote is funny. does he know something we need to know? It’s not hard to agree with half his quote, that it’s pretty dark after you lose your leading scorer, starting point guard, tallest player, and one of the few guys who had any athleticism on your team, and your best recruit—in one weekend. What is the dawn here? What is he looking at that makes all this okay?

"When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know." Bill Parcells

by StoopsMyAss on Mar 30, 2009 10:53 AM CDT reply actions

I don't think he has a choice

It’s not like he can say, ok folks. We’re officially screwed. Might as well give up now.
Even if he doesn’t believe it, he has to say it.

by chitownhawkeye on Mar 30, 2009 11:01 AM CDT up reply actions

"I'm going to un-fuckup this situation. I'm have no idea how, but I'm confident I will"

I got Summer hatin' on me cuz I'm hotter than the sun. Spring hatin' on me cuz I ain't never sprung
Winter hatin' on me cuz I'm colder than Y'all. And I will never, I will never, I will never Fall.
-Lil Wayne, Mr. Carter

by shake n bake on Mar 30, 2009 11:55 AM CDT up reply actions

I think the worst thing about all the doom 'n' gloom surrounding the hoops team

is that it has seemingly put a brake on REMARCHIFORNICATION.

The world should not be denied an epic confrontation between JoePa and Hammaker.

by RossWB on Mar 30, 2009 1:18 PM CDT reply actions

Heh, it looks like Stick Figure guy is falling down (or up, maybe?) a giant penis.

Or maybe Stick Figure guy is just really tiny. Either way, good cartoon. Thomas Nast would be proud. Huzzah!!

/Baby Jessica joke redacted

by Bucketochicken on Mar 30, 2009 1:55 PM CDT reply actions

Oh, for pete's sake.

He has a seven year $1.2mm/year contract. This is not the NFL. If they fire you they still have to pay. If you stop offering pabulum and tripe, they have cause to fire you. So he’s offering: he’s a rational economic actor. Everything is cool.

Anyway, I don’t know enough about basketball to have any idea as to whether or not his scheme works. I just played one year in Italy and there it was a bunch of guys throwing cross-court passes and guarding with their hands on their knees. I do know that his players would rather be in Decorah - errrr, DII Mankato. When was the last time KF lost 40% of his team to Upper Iowa? Upper Iowa is DII. Upper Iowa is the competition? WTF?

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Mar 30, 2009 7:44 PM CDT reply actions

Listen here, asshole, no one talks shit about Decorah on my watch.

by NorseHawk on Mar 30, 2009 8:50 PM CDT up reply actions

Listen here, bucko.

I vacation in Decorah. You miss the point, which I know that you know. Where else can you find a hatchery on the main drag advertising “Quality Chicks”?

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Mar 30, 2009 10:21 PM CDT up reply actions

But, oddly,

The Hotel Winneshiek has eliminated the terry robes from the rooms, and the last time I was at the Corner Bar, the Jim Beam came in thimbles instead of glasses.

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Mar 30, 2009 10:23 PM CDT up reply actions

Corner Bar sucks anyway

Real men drink at The Haymarket.

by NorseHawk on Mar 30, 2009 10:41 PM CDT up reply actions

The Haymarket has a blender...

A blender! It is, therefore, eliminated as a real drinking establishment.

"When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know." Bill Parcells

by StoopsMyAss on Mar 30, 2009 10:56 PM CDT up reply actions

Bullshit

The abnormally high percentage of beared, crazy looking alcoholics who may or may not actually live in the bar more than makes up for any blender.

by NorseHawk on Mar 30, 2009 11:53 PM CDT up reply actions

TGI Fridays across America gets the occasional beared, crazy looking alcoholic

and it is not a real drinking establishment. A blender is a disqualifier. End of story.

"When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know." Bill Parcells

by StoopsMyAss on Mar 31, 2009 3:08 PM CDT reply actions

Duk, the Bartender: [to Henry] Can I get you something, sir?

Henry: You bet—I’m dying for a banana daquiri.
Duk: Is that a drink?
Henry: Sure. You just take some bananas, some rum, and some cream, and you mix it all in a blender.
Duk: We got no bananas, no blender, and powdered cream.
Henry: Okay, I’ll just have a beer.

by Bucketochicken on Mar 31, 2009 3:34 PM CDT up reply actions