REMARCHIFORNICATION BRACKET MADNESS ROUND ONE: KEN O'KEEFE VS. THE METRODOME STALL
by Adam Jacobi on Mar 3, 2009 9:00 AM CST
in Iowa Hawkeyes Game Threads
Email
Print#1 SEED: KEN O'KEEFE
Tournament bid: Automatic
Pros
- Presided over a rather potent offense in 2008
- Roomies (and totally besties) with HFMR
- Assumed a double agency
Cons
- Called four straight dropback passes on 1st and goal against jNW with the Hawkeyes down by 5, handing jNW the biggest upset in BXI play this year
- Got Christensen's arm bitten off by a bear
Statement
Hey guys! It's great to be a part of March Madness on BLACKHEARTS.NET.BLUG or whatever you guys call this place. I could never "pass" on giving my favorite website some love, and I hope I get to "run" all the way to a title! My favorite "offensive line" is, "I don't give a dang!" Sorry for the coarse language. Vote for me and I'll never call another bubble screen again! [He is fucking lying.--ed]
#8 SEED: THE METRODOME STALL WHERE THE TWO IOWA FANS SEXED EACH OTHER UP
Tournament bid: Sponsor's exemption
Pros
- "Facilitated" (I'm so sorry) the legendary sort of drunken debauchery Iowa fans pride themselves on
Cons
- Also facilitated the wholly loathsome behavior of internet-stalking the two participants to the point that their lives were wrecked. No, we're not posting their names or pictures, and Christ no, there's no video. Go jack off somewhere else, you fucking savages.
Statement
(taps foot) Tap tap tap tap tap. Hey. Y'ever heard of a "glory hole"?
60 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Just follow your heart
That’s what I do
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 9:09 AM CST reply actions
(And this heart bleeds KOK)
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 9:11 AM CST up reply actions
TMSWTTIFWSEOU
all the way baby. This can’t even be considered an upset. You never know what TMSWTTIFWSEOU is going to do. KOK on the other hand…..
Why I voted for TMSWTTIFWSEOU
TMSWTTIFWSEOU fosters an environment to scoring. Although I think the defense is lacking as the local police proved, KOK wouldn’t be able to take advantage. KOK would just run up the middle into a pile of shit, when clearly you beat TMSWTTIFWSEOU by attempting to score on the edges.
by Assault & Slattery on Mar 3, 2009 10:25 AM CST reply actions
I am torn on this one.
Part of me knows we should just do the right thing and let this die but the other part of me knows it should live on forever in infamy.
From the tourney perspective, the stall got us a ton of national publicity thus expanding our fanbase, and improving recruiting. KOK doesn’t do that. Then again, KOK doesn’t ruin lives…just many many many drives due to bad play calling. I think the battle comes down to predictability. KOK won’t catch anyone off guard. Nobody expects something like the stall though.
Both equally make you scratch your head and ask “What were they thinking?”
Go Hawks!
Also of note
The un-named lady was so drunk according to the police report that she didn’t even know her own name. This puts it over the edge in my opinion…KOK can’t compete with that.
Go Hawks!
KOK doesn't ruin lives?
Ask JC about that.
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 3, 2009 10:55 AM CST up reply actions
no FUCKING video...
we’re all very sad about that…MEH
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
You are all being blinded by the glitz and glamour of a stadium shitter
Ken is a real man with real emotions and a real acronym for his name. Do the right thing.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 11:20 AM CST reply actions
here's a police report
kinda hard to read…they must not own any printers in minnesota, so they still use a type writer
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
ALCOHOL would win in a landslide
Just sayin’…
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Mar 3, 2009 11:21 AM CST reply actions
I voted KOK
Bc between the rape Lincoln that was posted the other day and the toliet man above, I am not going to sleep for weeks.
KOK needs to take down the stall so that picture never gets posted again.
"I'm driven by greatness" - Derrick Williams
I've said it before, and I'll say it again
The Metrodome Stall Where Two Iowa Fans Sexed Each Other Up was home to the best Iowa story of my lifetime, and I am going to do everything in my power to make sure it wins. You will pay for your error in seeding, OPS!
REGULATORRRRRS! (mount up)
Come on, we can turn this around. There’s still time.
I’ve already lost so much faith in humanity. This might be the last straw.
You wouldn’t do that to your dear old friend HFMR, right? Would you?
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 1:26 PM CST reply actions
If the stall had a Spitzian moustache, would you vote for it?
by Screen Name 20 on Mar 3, 2009 2:16 PM CST up reply actions
It's possible
But then again, if my aunt had testicles she’d be my uncle.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 2:44 PM CST up reply actions
...and it would be 2006.
How’d that surgery go, by the way? Is Tracy legally a he or she?
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
It could still go either way
She’s got a nice set of tits, but the moustache is creepy.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 4:58 PM CST up reply actions
My shit-list just got 106 people longer
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 11:17 PM CST reply actions
and I would like to point out to those that have yet to vote
anyone (especially HFMR) can see who you voted for just by clicking your name.
Do the right thing.
I ain't tryin' do you, I'm just tryin' do me
Last album did two, I'm just tryin' do three.
-Young Jeezy "I Luv It
What's going on?
The integrity of this vote has been compromised. Hanging chads! Hanging chads!
/points to the sky
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2009 8:03 AM CST reply actions
Oh, bullshit
This is just like Zug beating Leman.
Not even close
Zug won that fair and square. The guy who started the poll, BSD Mike, voted for Leman!
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2009 9:00 AM CST up reply actions
Whoa whoa whoa
It’s as if you people have never experienced democracy……
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2009 9:08 AM CST reply actions
Mmm, yummy
This democracy tastes like…
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2009 9:16 AM CST up reply actions
There's your problem right there.
You’re not supposed to be eating it.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2009 9:18 AM CST up reply actions
That's blasphemy
And Jesus Fingerbanging Christ I hate blasphemy
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2009 9:42 AM CST up reply actions
ooooh. You just punched your ticket. No purgatory for you unless you can accumulate 10,000 indulgences.
GTA 4
What’s running over a nun worth?
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 5, 2009 5:14 PM CST up reply actions
GTA4?
I was talking about D&D, yo. Because I’m cool.
Um, right?
by Bucketochicken on Mar 5, 2009 6:36 PM CST up reply actions
Not to go all religiony but it’s a Catholic thing. The nuns schooled us on building up indulgences in life on earth to buy your ticket into heaven. Good deeds without seeking anything in return. That’s about what I got out of Catholic school – nuns were scary.
Ah, right, right.
I hadn’t heard that before. I was raised Catholic and went to a Catholic school for college, but I gave up the whole Christianity thing for Lent a looooong time ago.
by Bucketochicken on Mar 6, 2009 9:23 AM CST up reply actions
... and this is why we weren't even going to do a bracket this year.
Do you really have to cheat to skew the results in a bracket of characters created on a regionally popular sports blog? Really?
This is like asking Sean Hannity about Florida in 2000.
Yes, I’m very happy KOK won, but I do not support cheating in any form and denounce this activity. Voters may feel free to punish KOK at the booth in the next round.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
But what of That Metrodome Stall Where Two Iowa Fans Sexed Each Other Up?
A KOK loss in the next round is of little comfort to…him? Her? It? I dunno, the point is That Stall got screwed and something should be done to fix this outrage. Think of the children.
that stall definitely got screwed I'll give you that
clever choice of words
Weather out here is SWEET! NICE!
Punish him at the booth?
What good will that do when KOK “mysteriously” comes back to win the vote. Damn communists.
by Screen Name 20 on Mar 5, 2009 3:07 PM CST up reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
