REMARCHIFORNICATION BRACKET MADNESS ROUND ONE: KEN O'KEEFE VS. THE METRODOME STALL
by Oops Pow Surprise on Mar 3, 2009 9:00 AM CST
in Events
60 comments
#1 SEED: KEN O'KEEFE
Tournament bid: Automatic
Pros
- Presided over a rather potent offense in 2008
- Roomies (and totally besties) with HFMR
- Assumed a double agency
Cons
- Called four straight dropback passes on 1st and goal against jNW with the Hawkeyes down by 5, handing jNW the biggest upset in BXI play this year
- Got Christensen's arm bitten off by a bear
Statement
Hey guys! It's great to be a part of March Madness on BLACKHEARTS.NET.BLUG or whatever you guys call this place. I could never "pass" on giving my favorite website some love, and I hope I get to "run" all the way to a title! My favorite "offensive line" is, "I don't give a dang!" Sorry for the coarse language. Vote for me and I'll never call another bubble screen again! [He is fucking lying.--ed]
#8 SEED: THE METRODOME STALL WHERE THE TWO IOWA FANS SEXED EACH OTHER UP
Tournament bid: Sponsor's exemption
Pros
- "Facilitated" (I'm so sorry) the legendary sort of drunken debauchery Iowa fans pride themselves on
Cons
- Also facilitated the wholly loathsome behavior of internet-stalking the two participants to the point that their lives were wrecked. No, we're not posting their names or pictures, and Christ no, there's no video. Go jack off somewhere else, you fucking savages.
Statement
(taps foot) Tap tap tap tap tap. Hey. Y'ever heard of a "glory hole"?
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Comments
KOK has the opportunity for many tourney runs. I just think this is the Metrodome Stall’s best, and deepest roster, ever.
by txhawkeye on Mar 3, 2009 9:06 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Just follow your heart
That’s what I do
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 9:09 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
(And this heart bleeds KOK)
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 9:11 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
TMSWTTIFWSEOU
all the way baby. This can’t even be considered an upset. You never know what TMSWTTIFWSEOU is going to do. KOK on the other hand…..
by TarHeelHawk on Mar 3, 2009 9:18 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
I hate you people.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Oops Pow Surprise on Mar 3, 2009 9:42 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Why I voted for TMSWTTIFWSEOU
TMSWTTIFWSEOU fosters an environment to scoring. Although I think the defense is lacking as the local police proved, KOK wouldn’t be able to take advantage. KOK would just run up the middle into a pile of shit, when clearly you beat TMSWTTIFWSEOU by attempting to score on the edges.
by Assault & Slattery on Mar 3, 2009 10:25 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
I am torn on this one.
Part of me knows we should just do the right thing and let this die but the other part of me knows it should live on forever in infamy.
From the tourney perspective, the stall got us a ton of national publicity thus expanding our fanbase, and improving recruiting. KOK doesn’t do that. Then again, KOK doesn’t ruin lives…just many many many drives due to bad play calling. I think the battle comes down to predictability. KOK won’t catch anyone off guard. Nobody expects something like the stall though.
Both equally make you scratch your head and ask “What were they thinking?”
Go Hawks!
by CUNKNNK on Mar 3, 2009 10:36 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Also of note
The un-named lady was so drunk according to the police report that she didn’t even know her own name. This puts it over the edge in my opinion…KOK can’t compete with that.
Go Hawks!
by CUNKNNK on Mar 3, 2009 10:42 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
KOK doesn't ruin lives?
Ask JC about that.
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 3, 2009 10:55 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I'm just here for the video
What?!? No video???
Well, I’m voting for TMSWTTIFWSEOU anyway.
by Screen Name 20 on Mar 3, 2009 11:13 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
no FUCKING video...
we’re all very sad about that…MEH
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
by pfac51 on Mar 3, 2009 4:59 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
You are all being blinded by the glitz and glamour of a stadium shitter
Ken is a real man with real emotions and a real acronym for his name. Do the right thing.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 11:20 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
here's a police report
kinda hard to read…they must not own any printers in minnesota, so they still use a type writer
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
by pfac51 on Mar 3, 2009 5:03 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
ALCOHOL would win in a landslide
Just sayin’…
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Mar 3, 2009 11:21 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
I voted KOK
Bc between the rape Lincoln that was posted the other day and the toliet man above, I am not going to sleep for weeks.
KOK needs to take down the stall so that picture never gets posted again.
"I'm driven by greatness" - Derrick Williams
by HookMania on Mar 3, 2009 12:21 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Zombie Rape Lincoln vs. TMSWTTIFWSEOU Monster Toilet.
Now THERE’S a good match-up.
by Bucketochicken on Mar 3, 2009 12:31 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
I've said it before, and I'll say it again
The Metrodome Stall Where Two Iowa Fans Sexed Each Other Up was home to the best Iowa story of my lifetime, and I am going to do everything in my power to make sure it wins. You will pay for your error in seeding, OPS!
by NorseHawk on Mar 3, 2009 12:59 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
REGULATORRRRRS! (mount up)
Come on, we can turn this around. There’s still time.
I’ve already lost so much faith in humanity. This might be the last straw.
You wouldn’t do that to your dear old friend HFMR, right? Would you?
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 1:26 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
If the stall had a Spitzian moustache, would you vote for it?
by Screen Name 20 on Mar 3, 2009 2:16 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
It's possible
But then again, if my aunt had testicles she’d be my uncle.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 2:44 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
...and it would be 2006.
How’d that surgery go, by the way? Is Tracy legally a he or she?
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Oops Pow Surprise on Mar 3, 2009 3:04 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
It could still go either way
She’s got a nice set of tits, but the moustache is creepy.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 4:58 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Tracy who?
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
by pfac51 on Mar 3, 2009 5:01 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
TMSWTTIFWSEOU with a rather large lead on KOK
and HFMR is inconsolable
by shada's revenge on Mar 3, 2009 6:03 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
My shit-list just got 106 people longer
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 3, 2009 11:17 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
and I would like to point out to those that have yet to vote
anyone (especially HFMR) can see who you voted for just by clicking your name.
Do the right thing.
I ain't tryin' do you, I'm just tryin' do me
Last album did two, I'm just tryin' do three.
-Young Jeezy "I Luv It
by shake n bake on Mar 4, 2009 7:54 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
KOK with a huge comeback
Or as I like to call it; THIS WHOLE THING IS RIGGED.
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2009 7:11 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
What's going on?
The integrity of this vote has been compromised. Hanging chads! Hanging chads!
by txhawkeye on Mar 4, 2009 7:54 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
/points to the sky
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2009 8:03 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Oh, bullshit
This is just like Zug beating Leman.
by NorseHawk on Mar 4, 2009 8:15 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Not even close
Zug won that fair and square. The guy who started the poll, BSD Mike, voted for Leman!
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2009 9:00 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
BOOOOOOO!
This thing is rigged just like last year!
by RonZook on Mar 4, 2009 8:21 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Selected, not elected!
"Sweet lady fate, why dost thou piss on me so?"
by bluearmadillo on Mar 4, 2009 8:21 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Whoa whoa whoa
It’s as if you people have never experienced democracy……
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2009 9:08 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
How many “super-delegates” did you get? Huh?
by txhawkeye on Mar 4, 2009 9:14 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Mmm, yummy
This democracy tastes like…
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2009 9:16 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
There's your problem right there.
You’re not supposed to be eating it.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2009 9:18 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
That's blasphemy
And Jesus Fingerbanging Christ I hate blasphemy
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2009 9:42 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
ooooh. You just punched your ticket. No purgatory for you unless you can accumulate 10,000 indulgences.
by txhawkeye on Mar 5, 2009 2:48 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
GTA 4
What’s running over a nun worth?
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 5, 2009 5:14 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
GTA4?
I was talking about D&D, yo. Because I’m cool.
Um, right?
by Bucketochicken on Mar 5, 2009 6:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Not to go all religiony but it’s a Catholic thing. The nuns schooled us on building up indulgences in life on earth to buy your ticket into heaven. Good deeds without seeking anything in return. That’s about what I got out of Catholic school – nuns were scary.
by txhawkeye on Mar 6, 2009 8:24 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Ah, right, right.
I hadn’t heard that before. I was raised Catholic and went to a Catholic school for college, but I gave up the whole Christianity thing for Lent a looooong time ago.
by Bucketochicken on Mar 6, 2009 9:23 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
... and this is why we weren't even going to do a bracket this year.
Do you really have to cheat to skew the results in a bracket of characters created on a regionally popular sports blog? Really?
by jebushchrist on Mar 4, 2009 12:47 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
This is like asking Sean Hannity about Florida in 2000.
Yes, I’m very happy KOK won, but I do not support cheating in any form and denounce this activity. Voters may feel free to punish KOK at the booth in the next round.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Oops Pow Surprise on Mar 4, 2009 1:03 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
But what of That Metrodome Stall Where Two Iowa Fans Sexed Each Other Up?
A KOK loss in the next round is of little comfort to…him? Her? It? I dunno, the point is That Stall got screwed and something should be done to fix this outrage. Think of the children.
by NorseHawk on Mar 4, 2009 1:54 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
that stall definitely got screwed I'll give you that
clever choice of words
Weather out here is SWEET! NICE!
by Colteyes on Mar 4, 2009 6:26 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Punish him at the booth?
What good will that do when KOK “mysteriously” comes back to win the vote. Damn communists.
by Screen Name 20 on Mar 5, 2009 3:07 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
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