REMARCHIFORNICATION BRACKET MADNESS ROUND 2: CORNSHOE HAMMAKER VS. SHAUN PRATER'S DUI

FACE OFF

In a wrestling ring, for some reason...

 Hello, I'm here with the dreaded Cornshoe Hammaker, whose cannon has blazed his way into infamy in BHGP history. Let me ask you, Cornshoe, how does it feel to have killed Abraham Lincoln?

 It was cool. Where's the other guy?

 I can answer that. As per program policy, he's serving a mandatory susphurrrk

 (gets brained by a folding chair)

 He'rr be hewe vewy soon.

 Oh, yes, that's Prater's manager, the nefarious Mr. Fuji. I'm sure he hasn't got a single devious plan for today.

 BEEYOOWEEOOWEEOO  

 The police! What's going on here?

 Mr. Cornshoe Hammaker, we're here to take you into custody for killing several people with a Civil War cannon.

 Officer, if I may, we have a tournament going on

 Easy there, drunkie, or you're going downtown too.

 :-(

 It's not my fault, officer. The bartender must have put gunpowder in my cannon!

 Is that a euphemism? You... you comin' on to me, pipsqueak?

 No!

 Dang.

 Off to jail we must go, then. Goodbye, BHGP.

 BEEYOOWEEOOWEEOO  

 Well, now there's nobody

 Here I am.

 I tord you!

 Well, welcome, Mr. Prater! It looks like it's just you in this tournament, so unless someone... hey, what's that?

 BOOM

 My god, that cannonball almost took your head off, Shane!

 It sure did, whew!

 I mean... I mean Shaun.

 Uh oh.

 What's going on? Where did this cannonball come from?

 CORNSHOE HAMMAKER RIDES AGAIN!

 Some might cost a little

 Some might cost a lot

 But I'm the Million Dollar Man

 And you WILL be bought!

 LMAO

 Cornshoe! You've got a devious manager from the WWF too! My God!

 Two can play at the evil twin game, Shane Prater!

 How did you even get here?!

 Leave your Civil War cannon out of this and fight me like a man!

 To the polls we go!

 Then wait a second... if you're not Cornshoe...

 Am I?

 Wait, so who's in police custody?

Back at Central Booking...

 Boss, c'mere and take a look at these fingerprints.

 Very interesting.... wait a second, these aren't fingerprints at all! These are Civil War cannons!

 (evil glint in his eye)

 What in the...??!

 BOOM

 (everyone's head flies off)

 THE HAMMAKER BOYS RIDE AGAIN! HANG ON, LITTLE BROTHER!