Dominique Douglas Tries to Break Into MARCHIFORNICATION

Douglasmugshoticon_medium   Can I talk to Mister...Jagodinski?
Douglasmugshoticon_medium  Is there a better time for me to reach him?
Douglasmugshoticon_medium  Well, ma'am, I'm Dominique from GEICO and...
Douglasmugshoticon_medium   Ma'am?  Hello?
Douglasmugshoticon_medium  GOD DAMN THAT MOTHERFUCKIN BIZNITCH IS GONNA RUE THE DAY SHE HUNG UP ON CITY BOYZ, INC.
Telemarketericon_medium   Hey 'Nique, you gotta keep it down, man!  I'm trying to make a sale!
Douglasmugshoticon_medium  MAN, FUCK YO SALE!
Telemarketericon_medium  Fuck the sale?  'Nique, what's with you today?  You've been in a bad mood all day.  And you've done so well here at GEICO, too.
Douglasmugshoticon_medium  NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THOSE BHGP MOTHAFUCKAS
Telemarketericon_medium  I have no idea what you're talking about.
Douglasmugshoticon_medium  LAST YEAR I MADE THE FINAL FOUR.  THIS YEAR I'M NOT EVEN IN THE TOURNAMENT.  IT'S NOT FAIR!  I SHOULD BE THERE!
Douglasmugshoticon_medium  IT'S TIME I FIX THIS SHIT
Douglasmugshoticon_medium  /storms out of cubicle toward conference room

- Meanwhile, in a nearby conference room -

Geckoicon_medium   The commercials weren't as good as we expected.
Dondrapericon_medium   Well, the "Kash" commercials were cute, but they didn't have the same cultural impact of
Googlyeyesgardenericon_medium   YOW!
Dondrapericon_medium  Oh Christ

 

Googlyeyesgardenericon_medium  Is that a small tree?
Dondrapericon_medium  Googly-eyes gardener, please, not now.
Googlyeyesgardenericon_medium  Not now?  NOT NOW?  How can you concentrate with a small tree in the corner like that?
Googlyeyesgardenericon_medium  /puts googly eyes on small tree
Googlyeyesgardenericon_medium  There, now I'm not so nervous about that small tree putting me in a figure four leg lock.  Please, Don, continue with the presentation
Geckoicon_medium  We liked the idea of Kash, Don, but we need it to go in a new direction.  Any ideas?
Dondrapericon_medium  Um...new direction...new direction...well, maybe if we had Kash jump from a moving
Douglasmugshoticon_medium  PUT ME IN THE MOTHAFUCKIN COMMERCIAL
Geckoicon_medium  Who the hell are you?
Douglasmugshoticon_medium  BITCH, I'M DOUBLE D!  CITY BOYZ 4 LIFE!  AND DOUBLE D IS GONNA GET INTO MARCHIFORNICATION, MOTHAFUCKA!  PUT ME IN THE MOTHAFUCKIN COMMERCIAL!
Googlyeyesgardenericon_medium  YOW!

Googlyeyesgardenericon_medium  /puts googly eyes on Dominique Douglas

Douglasmugshotgooglyeyes_medium

 

Douglasmugshoticon_medium  BITCH DID NOT JUST PUT GOOGLY EYES ON DOUBLE D
Geckoicon_medium  That's it, I'm calling security
Dondrapericon_medium  [Whispers quietly to himself] A new direction...
Dondrapericon_medium  /flashback sequence

Douglasmugshoticon_medium  CITY BOY GOTS TO EAT!
Googlyeyesgardenericon_medium  YOW!
Kashicon_medium  NOOOOOOO!

Douglas2cropped_medium

Dondrapericon_medium  No, wait, Gecko.  Don't call security just yet.  See, Dominique is part of the presentation.  He's hip.  He's edgy.  He's stealing hats.  He's eating money.  He's exactly what we need to get this campaign off the ground...

Geckoicon_medium  This is going to be the best ad campaign ever!
Dondrapericon_medium  Yes it is.  Yes it is.

 

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