Bas Rutten Narrates the Classics, Vol. 1: Undefeatable

NOTE:  This has absolutely no connection to Iowa athletics in any way, but it's officially the offseason.  What else are we going to write?

Bas_medium

For those of you with the great privilege of not getting punched in the head as a career or living in Davenport, Bas Rutten is a former UFC heavyweight champion and current MMA commentator.  He finished his career with a 28-4 record.  He is not to be trifled with.

Bas Rutten is also comedy gold. 

He's the purveyor and host of a series of self-defense videos filmed in what appears to be the Coralville Vine and narrated as only Bas can.  In the videos, he fends off would-be attackers wielding guns and knives with the help of little more than a bar stool and a pepper shaker.  Not only does Bas narrate his actions, but he provides his own sound effects. They are, in a word, fucking awesome.

The videos are brilliant in and of themselves, but the magic of Bas Rutten should not be confined to self-defense videos and late-night commentary on satellite channels nobody receives.  We here at BHGP believe the blinding genius of Bas should be given to the masses.

And so it is, with great pride, we present "Bas Rutten Narrates the Classics," in which we pair this legendary fighter's Shakespearean prose with legendary fight scenes.  Barring the inevitable cease & desist letter, it will become an ongoing series throughout the offseason.  We could not think of a better way to start than with quite possibly the greatest brawl ever committed to film, the warehouse fight from that 1993 classic of poor English-to-Chinese movie title translation Undefeatable, starring Cynthia Rothrock as a street fighter out to avenge the death of her sister at the hands of a martial arts expert/douche.  So make some popcorn, turn the lights down low, and enjoy the show.



SB Nation Featured Video
X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker