SELECTING SUNDAY: THE WEST REGION (Salt Lake City, UT)
Welcome back to Selecting Sunday on BHGP! Once again, I'm your host, Oops Pow Surprise. We had an incredible East region matchup chock full of exciting matchups and storylines. Time to reveal the rest of the field. As with before, in order to maintain the integrity of the selectioning process, we're learning these right along with you. Let's dive right on.
1. Ken O'Keefe
O'Keefe had an incredible resume this season, not the least of which included trying to defect to South Carolina before the bowl game and having a bear chew off Jake Christensen's arm. He's even the roommate of our very own HFMR. KOK is many things to many people, but he might be able to add one more word to that library: Champion.
8. The Metrodome Stall Where The Two Iowa Fans Sexed Each Other Up
This must have been a fun Google Image search! The bathroom stall where the two Iowa fans (WHO ARE NAMELESS AND DO NOT HAVE FAMILIES OR LIVES OR ANYTHING) sexed each other up really only had one moment in the proverbial sun, but did it ever make it count. And if anyone had the common sense to film this stuff and put it on YouPorn or something, then we get the notion that Bathroom Stall would be much higher on the list. All the same, getting noticed on Selecting Sunday must be quite the honor for Bathroom Stall.
4. Cornshoe Hammaker
A 4 seed caps an impressive year for the hero/villain of the Civil War, who killed General Lee, Abe Lincoln, and later Charlie Weis with his trusty cannon. People sure gave their kids weird names back then (cough).
5. Smelley Cock
And speaking of silly names! Wow, what a matchup this should be! We really thought Smelley Cock would be getting a higher seed, being that he's the first BHGP character to be given his own entire month. Will Cornshoe blow the Cock's head clean off???
3. Jamie Pollard
Nobody came out of the Gene Chizik debacle worse than Jamie Pollard, which is why he's absolutely perfect for a tournament like this. The fact that he could fall to a 3 seed tells you what a loaded Bracket Madness bracket this is. Let's see who his first foe is.
6. Old Testament Hep
Now here's an upset candidate if we've ever seen one! Old Testament Hep brought down Iowa's 2007 season; can he shake up the Bracket Madness next?? This is exciting! Please don't kill us, Hepshepsut! Ha, ha, ha! Seriously, don't kill us.
2. J Leman
It seems incredible that the Patron Saint of BHGP can't even get a 1 seed in Bracket Madness, but The Great American Hero knows what matters most is what happens after the selectioning. We can't help but think getting his brain hijacked by the Zooker reflected negatively on him in the committee's eyes.
7. Other Secretary
Quite the fox, we must say, and those sports fans who vote with their penises will find this an intriguing upset pick. Plus she's shooting Ron Zook over and over and over.
That's the entire tournament field, folks! The Super Sixteen! We'll be working on getting a bracket ready tonight, then voting begins on Monday.
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Comments
1st round:
TMSWTTIFSEOU defeats Ken O’Keefe
Cornshoe Hammaker defeats Smelley Cock
Old Testament Hep defeats Jamie Pollard
J Leman defeats Other Secretary
2nd round:
TMSWTTIFSEOU defeats Cornshoe Hammaker
J Leman defeats Old Testament Hep
Final:
LEMAN DEFEATS TMSWTTIFSEOU
by ReadingRambler on Mar 1, 2009 7:01 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
I almost agree with you RR...
Pollard is taking down Hep however and TMSWTTIFSEOU might be a darkhorse. Watch out.
by Argulor on Mar 1, 2009 7:06 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
The 8 seed working its way into the final four, eh?
Does that make Lois Feldman the Stephen Curry of Marchifornication? Carrying the Metrodome stall ‘scandal’ that far would be quite the feat…
¿Quieres chiclets?
by The Mexican't on Mar 1, 2009 7:10 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Pollard doesn't scare me
mostly because I don’t think the man knows how to win anything, especially Marchifornication.
by Shooter McGavin on Mar 1, 2009 8:46 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
The Metrodome Stall Where Two Iowa Fans Sexed Each Other Up is vastly under-seeded
That’s the greatest Iowa story of my lifetime. And I don’t even want to mention the crime that is J Leman getting a number 2 seed, for fear that it will just draw his attention to it and cause him to destroy this site and everyone who’s ever visited it.
by NorseHawk on Mar 1, 2009 9:30 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
That stall should be a 5 or a 4
by ReadingRambler on Mar 1, 2009 9:49 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I don't care what conference it's in
That stall is going to wreak havoc in this tourney…
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2009 7:43 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
any video of the stall action??
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
by pfac51 on Mar 2, 2009 4:48 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
No.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Oops Pow Surprise on Mar 2, 2009 6:31 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
so no vids then....ok. at least her face is still up on myspace.
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
by pfac51 on Mar 3, 2009 4:42 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Fuck fedorombrero
Where can I get one of the hats KOK is wearing in that picture, I mean its the perfect combo of a fedora and a sombrero if I have ever seen one.
by J.R. Angle has a posse on Mar 1, 2009 9:57 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
BRING IT
ROUND ONE
TMSWTIFSEOU > KOK
Smelley Cock > Cornshoe
OT Hep > Pollard (who is, well, you know)
Leman = Sec2 (game ends in fire, screams, death, neither one advances)
ROUND TWO
TMSWTIFSEOU > Smelley Cock (in a tight one, Cock almost pulls it out at the end, but loses control of his game, giving TMStall the ecstasy of victory)
OT Hep wins by forfeit
REGIONAL WINNER
OT Hep (causes TMSWTIFSEOU severe burning)
by Bucketochicken on Mar 1, 2009 11:06 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Congrats to "the stall"
It was on the bubble and had a big win at the end of the season to make the tourney…..
But I think we can say good-fucking-night to the worst acronym of all time at the hands of KOK.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 1, 2009 11:08 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Larry Craig coaches the stall to the regional final, only to lose to Leman.
Secretary > Leman in a 3OT thriller.
"Sweet lady fate, why dost thou piss on me so?"
by bluearmadillo on Mar 2, 2009 6:26 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
i think the other secretary is all kinds of HAWT....
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
by pfac51 on Mar 2, 2009 4:50 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

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