SELECTING SUNDAY: THE EAST REGION (Charlotte, NC)

Hello once again, folks! I'm your host, Oops Pow Surprise. We have a real treat for you today, as BHGP releases the Bracket Madness Bracket on what we like to call "Selecting Sunday." We're finding out these seeds at the same time as all of you, so we'll be providing analysis as the picks are revealed. Let's get right into it.

1. Joe Paterno

No surprise, as this was announced earlier. The geography here is favorable, as we're sure JoePa fans wouldn't want to make the trek out to the West regional in Salt Lake City. JoePa enjoyed another amazing year on BHGP, and he should go deep in this tourney. Let's see who he's up against.

8. Lou Holtz

Wow. Interesting choice by the committee here. Dr. Lou has enjoyed a resurgence of sorts now that he's joined ESPN. He gave an impressive halftime speech in the Iowa-Minnesota Bowl, but we're not sure his resume really stacks up. But hey, looks like the old coaches get to face off one last time. This should be fun.

Let's see who's facing whom in the next matchup.

4. Jay Paterno

What a year for JayPa, who went from "punchline" to "punchline with a vaunted offense." And barring upsets, we've got a great father vs. son matchup for Round 2! Great stuff. But 4/5 games can go either way, so let's see who's at the 5 this year.

5. Tim Brewster

Now this is an intriguing matchup. JayPa's a much more high-profile player, but Brewster had some tremendous moments on BHGP, and if JayPa's not careful, Brewster could win in a walk.

Now onto the 3-6 match.

3. Secretary

Now this is the real... um... are we allowed to call her a dark horse, or is that kinda... fine, she's a sleeper. Not that we're calling her lazy or shiftless. Damn it. She might go farther in the tournament than 3 seeds usually do. You happy? HUH?!

6. Joe Tiller

This is Tiller's swan song, as he's already out of his office in West Lafayette. Word has it that he's moving to Philadelphia.

2. Ron Zook

Ah, the Zooker. He returned to form as the lovable dimwit, coaching his Rose Bowl incumbent Illini straight out of the postseason. Also, he was literally murdered by his own secretary. Any time you get shot to death on BHGP, you're doing something right. A 2 seed is perfect.

7. Bob Zook

And oh my, what drama we've got in the first round here! Speaking of Zooks shot to death, Ron's murder was preceded by Bob being killed in a mind-control-murder plot. What a story that was. Will it be Bob's Revenge here for the monumental upset, or will the Zooker ride again?

STAY TUNED FOR THE WESTERN REGIONAL AT 6:30, RIGHT HERE ON BHGP! SELECTING SUNDAY: IT'S WHERE THEY CHOOSE THINGS!