Monday Quick Hitz: MY LAST NAME IS MCCARNEY MOTHERF*CKER

Quick Hitz: Where we cover all the stories that come our way, except when we forget to. Like just about every day.

To her credit, give the cop some lipstick, a wig, and a wedding ring, and she'd be dead on: Dan McCarney's daughter was arrested for assaulting a police officer and keeping a disorderly house this weekend. Actually, that recitation of facts doesn't even scratch the surface of the tantrum she dropped on Iowa City's Finest. Observe:

McCarney reportedly swore at Iowa City Police Officer Gabriel Cook before striking him with her left shoulder and trying to kick him.

After telling officers she was Dan McCarney's daughter and that he would take physical action on them, she reportedly threatened the officer repeatedly and told him that all of her charges would be dropped because her name is "McCarney" and they have "a lot of money."

Name-dropping and threats: When "I'm sorry, Officer" just won't do!

This "Hawkeye family" idea is so 20th century: HSN has an interview with former Hawkeye hero Acie Earl, who's now coaching basketball up in Solon and training kids on the side. Sounds like a pretty good gig, but how come, if he's so close, we don't hear more about him?

[A]s I see it, who cares what Acie Earl thinks. I live in the same neighborhood as the basketball secretary, and if they really wanted me to help out then I’d be asked. It’s funny, I'm always asked to come to camps and help out all over the USA and I have, but I haven't been asked to help out with Iowa camps since Coach Davis left, so it’s whatever.

Well then. The rest of the interview isn't nearly as dour, but seriously, Lickliter, there isn't a dad in the state of Iowa who doesn't know who Acie Earl is; there's no way they couldn't pack 2 or 3 camps with his name on it yearly. So he's got an ego. Big fucking deal. Everyone's got an ego.

Randy Peterson is starting to lose it: There are really no words to adequately describe the decline in quality of sports coverage at the Rag over the last 10-15 years. There might not be a coherent, lucid-minded writer left on that staff, and I'm starting to wonder if the BHGP folks should offer to take their places at 90% of the payroll. It's a Gannett paper, so those cost-cutters should be doing cartwheels at our offer. Here's an excerpt of the latest blogbortion from Randy Peterson:

But defensively, it was a gem, holding the No. 20 team in the nation to just 49 points.

That was the plan. And it will continue to be the plan.

Until the Hawkeyes start winning consistently again.

So wait, Iowa plans to play defense... until they start winning? What? Also, if you go to the site, check out the not-so-subtle dig at Cyrus Tate and the gross overuse of emphases. Who underlines on the internet anymore?

Good news about basketball. No, seriously: The women's basketball team has been a most pleasant surprise during the conference slate, running up a 9-5 mark in BXI play. Their latest two victories might have punched their ticket to the NCAA tournament, as a matter of fact: first, a home upset of the nationally ranked Buckeyes gave Iowa the marquee conference win their resume desperately needed, then the ladies came back from a 20-point deficit to win at Penn State, 63-57. The wins ran Iowa's record to 16-9, including a current 8-2 stretch. From here on out, Iowa's schedule turns to cake, with four of the worst teams in the conference remaining. With an RPI still in the 30s and an uncomfortably high amount of losses, Iowa's NCAA hopes may or may not withstand a "bad loss" at this point. But to get into the conference tourney at 20-9 (13-5)? That might be good for a 6 or 7 seed, depending on what they do in the BXI tourney. Look, you can express your disdain for women's sports all you like (you big man, you), but at least acknowledge and respect that there's good college basketball being played somewhere on campus.