LIVEOPENBLOGTHREADGAMEKAZAAM: ROCK YOUR SALSA OFF
by Adam Jacobi on Feb 14, 2009 2:43 PM CST
in Iowa Hawkeyes Basketball
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PrintPurdue Boilermakers at Iowa Hawkeyes, Feb 14, 2009 3:05 PM CST
Iowa vs. Purdue! For all the marbles! Or at least one marble! Or not! Iowa's got new uniforms starting today, which is probably the only reason this game is near sell-out status. And while fan reaction about the uniforms indicated that 1) SNAKES ARE MOTHERFUCKERS and 2) the uniforms are only "decent," keep in mind that there's absolutely nothing wrong with upgrading greatness, as Queen and Microsoft ably demonstrate below.
[this shit is my jam, man]
All the same, this will be a bloodbath of biblical proportions. Iowa is missing:
- their starting "point guard" (replacement: lightly used 1st year juco)
- their best shooter (replacement: completely one-dimensional 1st year juco)
- and their best post player (replacement: tearful prayer).
Yes, Purdue is missing Robbie Hummel, so this may not be the 30-point shitvalanche that Purdue dropped on Iowa the last time these paths crossed, but come on, people. This could get gruesome.
And as always, the drinks guide, should you be sufficiently masochistic/planning on stumbling around drunk at 6 pm on Valentine's Day:
Iowa losing by 15+: Hard liquor
Iowa losing by 10-15: Red wine
Iowa losing by 5-10: Cheap beer
Iowa losing by 0-5: The good beer
Iowa winning: The really good beer
Iowa winning by more than 1 point per minute remaining: Hard liquor
Hope you've got 3 bottles of red wine you're not fond of, because you're never seeing them again. Tipoff's in 15. If we must witness the horror, let's do it together.
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Tucker is a better shooter than Gatens.
Do not make me fight you about this.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Oh man, new unis.....
ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyobboy
i saw both new uniforms
at the Black & Gold store in Davenport, Iowa next to the Mall….GOLD BABY.
~please send $ 45.00 for the gold shorts! help me OOPS your my only hope.
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
Maybe the BTN will
get Lickliters name right today. Baby steps.
Tim Lickliter 1-10 vs. Ranked opponents?
who knew?
maybe we’ll get lucky and
Doung will start for the boilers…no Interwebs today baby, we get to watch horrible BTN at my mother in law’s till Mrs. PFAC51 drags me off to Applebees Texas Roadhouse to wait in line and try to watch the game at the bar & eat free peanuts……
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
Bullwinkle starts....
they got Todd right….f-ing A
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
Funny what happens when you play on Saturday afternoon
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 3:06 PM CST up reply actions
Davan Bawinkel starting lineup clip = terrorist hostage video
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
those aren't the gold uniforms i saw at 9 am today....
at the Black & Gold store in Davenport, Iowa….
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
Highlight of the night
Except she talks too much
by storminspank on Feb 14, 2009 3:07 PM CST up reply actions
Thank God the Charissa Thompson we know and ogle is back
Frumpy dies a tragic death
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
No new unis
or, if they are, we still have the home whites.
And, no, that’s not referring to the fan base.
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
Lets see if Jake can eliminate
his boneheadedness in the 1st half.
you can have your $ 45 dollars back
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
Iowa calls timeout after 41 seconds
This is not going to be pretty
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
So, let's recap
Iowa gets the ball, traveling on backup PG.
Purdue’s first possession, easy dunk.
Iowa timeout.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Good news...
Kelly hasn’t turned it over yet
Davis is doing all the turn-overing for Kelly tonight.
And he just got yanked…
'They are who we thought they were!'
over / under for J. Davis turnovers?
8?
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
That Davis double dribble reminds me...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muOjd4nSXXE
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 3:12 PM CST up reply actions
Bad news
the rest of the team is picking up for him
now that i'm $ 45 dollars richer
i might be able to get some Beast Light
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
You could get at least 2 cases with that kind of coin
was that a good call?
perhaps. it depends on the doritos situation....
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
That was pretty much the only conceivable way I could ever be more upset about the PG situation
Well played, Iowa. Well played.
Fuller touched the rim?!
I would have guessed he couldn’t do that if he tried.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Family Guy and Christian Bale
http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/14/bale-wants-peter-griffin-off-the-f-king-set/
The lesson from Charissa Thompson's report:
There are no stars on Iowa’s team. At all.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
I'm sorry, was she talking?
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 3:18 PM CST up reply actions
Palmer
WOOT. the following takes place from 3:17pm to 3:19pm
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
T R A V E L
Fuller’s a bad ass on the block….
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
guh
5 minutes into the game and it’s tied at freaking 4
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
whose the boiler w/ the face mask?
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
Gene Keady
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 3:23 PM CST up reply actions
Nice shot to the back on Hummel, Fuller
NOTED: Aaron Fuller is a total dick.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Ignoring the fact that there was a dude who's a good 4 inches taller standing over him
Why did Davis think he could shoot from directly under the backboard?
I like it when Purdue turns it over, over and over
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
He just wanted to fit in
With everyone else that has played in this game…
'They are who we thought they were!'
Palmer travels at 11:38
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 3:26 PM CST up reply actions
COMMERCIAL BREAK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21OH0wlkfbc&feature=channel_page
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Are announcers required by the BTN
To comment that Gatens has a great ‘feel’ for the game?
'They are who we thought they were!'
Yes
White Basketball Player Handbook rule 3.4a
i'm changing the channel to SpongeBob
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
check, 9-0
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 3:34 PM CST up reply actions
Almost didn't notice
That Iowa is now in their familiar ’Don’t score for 6 minutes’ phase of the game…
'They are who we thought they were!'
whose's the hottie in the red shirt courtside?
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
Gene Keady
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 3:38 PM CST up reply actions
Did anyone see
Butler score 80 points the other night?
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
Bawinkel scares the living hell out of me when he has the ball
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
How did we not know Lickliter had ANOTHER kid on his bench?
NEPOTISM NEPOTISM
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
WHOA, nice drive by Gatens
Since when was he that fast?
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
I was thinking the same thing
Normally he looks slow as hell. I miss Adam Haluska’s TRACK STAR SPEED.
Great feel for the game
along with awesome basketball IQ
High motor
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 3:40 PM CST up reply actions
He has a great motor
and is extremely coachable
Iowa toughening up on defense
too bad the offense isn’t responding. Would have been nice to see that 3 get down.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Time for Cole to miss 2 freebies
hey it worked last time
why isn't the Hawks Nest behind the boiler bench???
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
didnt' alfruad
have it in the south end zone?
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
then students might actually like to attend
cause a ruckus and such.
has Barta seen the student section at...Breslin or that shit whole in champagne?
they get wild….
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
Obligatory Shot
of Lick rubbing his temples in frustration while silently chanting Why, why, why, why, why…
'They are who we thought they were!'
Unless you live in Buffalo
then, not so much
by TarHeelHawk on Feb 14, 2009 3:47 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
gophers will get floored by Brands' boys
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
Brands / Gable would make us Big Ten champs
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
That fan needs to be thrown out
He is clearly drunk, as the Hawkeyes are NOT “#1.”
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Cole draws a legit charge
Let’s get another basket and watch Painter’s head explode.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Why can this team play like this for 15 minutes
and then look like they no clue for the other 5?
Kelly didn't expect that
Wide open, totally out of rhythm.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
If I drink everytime he says "undermanned"
Will be I be drunk enough to enjoy the game?
Nevermind that Purdue is playing with 7 guys
the Hawks are undermanned
robbie hummel is someone's valentine on the BTN halftime show?
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
Matt Painter has been going to the Bret Bielema school
of pigging out upon becoming head coach, apparently.
Also probably the Bret Bielema school of douchebaggery, too.
is Keady reading off a chalkboard on the floor?
nice haircut, buddy……………
this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.
I think the rest of the BTN anchors just like pointing and laughing at him
and that ridiculous hairpiece.
he treated that bear worse than christian bale did
http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/14/bale-wants-peter-griffin-off-the-f-king-set/
“do you punch your mother with that mouth?”
SHENANIGANS!!!!
i POSTED THAT FOR THE FIRST COMMERCIAL BREAK.
no fair, cheater.
by storminspank on Feb 14, 2009 4:04 PM CST up reply actions
Yep, that's a win
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 4:00 PM CST up reply actions
No animals were harmed during the filming of this scene
/protection from PETA/d
Errrrr
Batlle hitting a 3 at the 1st half buzzer is “the shot heard ’round Happy Valley”?!
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
DOUBLE HALFTIME BREAK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO2WFgNgcuo
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
BAD PROPS
for the M Ward love.
HELL. YES.
by storminspank on Feb 14, 2009 4:07 PM CST up reply actions
No game since the implosion
But that was brilliant
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 4:09 PM CST up reply actions
They used to do what happened to them
regularly to Alford’s teams. Good to see that Lickliter had a plan coming out of the locker room
Johnson takes the Iowa crowd out ASAP
…and then Gatens brings them right back.
…and then Moore—oh fuck it.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
I'm beginning to think
Lick gets paid for each Time Out he calls.
'They are who we thought they were!'
Nice play
Cole steadily getting back to his old self has pretty much been the only redeeming factor of the second half of this season.
Boy, Cole gets a lot of calls
Usually even if that strip is clean, it gets called.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Why is Bullwinkle even playing right now?
If he can’t hit a perfectly set up 3pter, what does he really bring to the table?
… and then he gets a rebound.
Question
When was the last time we made a mid-range jump shot? I’m honestly asking; I don’t ever remember it happening this year.
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
Jermain Davis is to basketball
what Jermaine Jackson is to basketball.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
That's sort of their offense
Also, last time they played us they made like 250% of their 3s so I maybe they think that will happen again.
Yay, Kirk Ferentz sighting.
But seriously, Purdue only has to get to about 51,and game over.
I think Kelly is a pretty decent ballhandler
He gets a bad wrap because he is forced to create at times
Kelly just frustrates me because he follows up great plays with bonehead plays
time after time after time.
Is it wrong to want to give a scholarship
to one of those trick-shot dumbasses in the Hampton ads? They couldn’t be any worse, right?
Nice passing
Everyone in the building knew that was going in. 31-30 Iowa.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
That was only a 2 unfortunately.
But nice ball movement to get Gatens the open look.
'They are who we thought they were!'
ah...scorer was wrong.
Don’t I feel stupid
by chitownhawkeye on Feb 14, 2009 4:21 PM CST up reply actions
Big Shot Matt Gatens
doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but that was crucial
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
Wasn't Hummel out for a while with a broken ass or something?
They showed him in some ridiculous brace a few nights ago…
We can't shoot 2-11 from behind the arc and win
It’s really that simple. The Moose has to get loose.
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
Kelly playing... well. Wow.
He neds to use that blow-by more often. He can get to the rack.
'They are who we thought they were!'
Jake Kelly
Doing his best to make me rethink my “I really hate Jake Kelly” stance. I was pretty set on that too.
Can we just ,aoe ot a rule that Davis can't handle the ball?
TImeout Iowa after Jermaine picks up his dribble. Again.
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
Wow, typing fail there
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 4:25 PM CST up reply actions
I can't tell the difference between Grant and Moore
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
if kelly had held his follow through up a little longer...
i think it woulda gone in
Wait, you just now decided that?
He’s been like the only redeeming feature of the team since…well, at least since that week where David Palmer was inexplicably unstoppable. But possibly of the entire season.
Larrivee would like to claim
temporary insanity for calling him that. He got wrapped up in the excitement of a 90ft battle for a rebound…
'They are who we thought they were!'
No foul on Gatens there?
Sheesh, he got hacked hard.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Oh holy God yes Jarryd Cole
Nice baseline move, Iowa down 2
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
Seen too much of that
on that clear out.
Oh…but returned the favor with the +1
by chitownhawkeye on Feb 14, 2009 4:33 PM CST up reply actions
NBA continuation
but Davis gets to the rim, gets fouled, and gets a shot at a 3-point play
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
And then misses the free throw
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 4:33 PM CST up reply actions
Why is Tucker talking to Angle about anything?
…tie game by the way.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
"So then I used the wizard potion on the Gorlock..."
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 4:36 PM CST up reply actions
"Bojangles, I don't care about your World of Warcraft game"
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 4:36 PM CST up reply actions
All nerves over here
Iowa should not be in this game at all.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
And impression of the Iowa backcourt:
gets trapped
head explodes in confusion
Purdue's body language has been lousy all day long
Do you think they too are upset Iowa’s not debuting the new uniforms?
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
He's so solid
Like a metal or something
by storminspank on Feb 14, 2009 4:41 PM CST up reply actions
Why haven't we seen this all year out of Jake?
He’s beating Purdue to the basket at will
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
Purdue is playing lke dogshit, for what it's worth
I mean hey, I won’t complain about a W, but holy hell they look bad.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Cole has terrible hands, no?
The missed dunks, the dropped passes, the muffed rebounds. It’s a hands thing, right?
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
Yes he does
Must be that broken ass
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 4:46 PM CST up reply actions
Kelly drives by his man again
Can’t make the layup, though
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
Cole finally sets a real screen
And promptly gets called for a foul
I really want to see a replay
It didn’t look like he was sliding in front.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
I already looked at it.
Look back at that offensive foul on Cole. Awful call. Hummel sold it. Cole was set and he was one that actually got moved by it. But it’s all about selling it. Oscar goes to Robbie.
by storminspank on Feb 14, 2009 4:49 PM CST up reply actions
Look, I know he's not playing much
But there’s no reason to degrade poor JR by calling him a cheerleader.
Bawinkelbaw the dangadang diggydiggydiggy
to the boogie said up jump the boogie
MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Worthless possession by Iowa there.
Nobody even thought about getting to the bucket.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Kramer looks like Roger Dorn after he got punched by Ricky Vaughn
Also, horrible offensive sequence there, followed by a Purdue bucket. Iowa down 3, 1:20 to play.
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
I hate that we haven't forced any fouls
in the last couple of minutes. In the 1&1 early and got nothing from it
Just thinking that
That can’t make Kelly feel good.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Perhaps you haven't met our new trainer, Michael J. Fox
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 4:54 PM CST up reply actions
What, did you want me to use Muhammed Ali?
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 4:56 PM CST up reply actions
I just feel that such jokes are below the journalistic standards of this si....pffffttttt hahahaha
I tried
Announcer was dead on
Iowa can’t get separation without Kelly.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
We've gone away from penetrating and getting the ball down low
And promptly stopped scoring. Weird….
'They are who we thought they were!'
Damn it
Iowa gets Purdue to take a contested shot, but the rebound falls to the Boilers
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
There's not enought time to study! I'll never get into Stanford!
storminspank: "Or we could join you can take our pants off."
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2009 4:59 PM CST up reply actions
Lickliter telling a joke to Painter, apparently.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
"Moral victory" I guess for keeping it close w/o Tate and Peterson
but still sucks ass. Oh well. 8 days till more misery.
Moral victory AND we covered!
So it’s like a win, except I still have to cut myself now!
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Now the Iowa band is gang-raping Earth, Wind & Fire
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Think of it this way...
the close games this team is playing this year will pay off next year and the year after. Gatens has clearly established himself as the team leader. Cole has established himself as a force in the middle. The way this team has hung in there, and not quit, and kept fighting, but still kept losing makes me feel good about next year, and the year after.
Of course, that doesn’t take away from the train wreck that this season has turned out to be, but there have been several games where these guys could packed it in and gone home, and they haven’t.
Hey, we could be Iowa State fans...
and watch our team turn a 2 point deficit at the 1/2 into a 20 point ass-kicking. Can you imagine how bad they’ll suck next year if Brackins leaves?
Bawinkle going 0-5
Did a nice job of trying to play himself back out of the starting lineup. Unless his secret plan is to injure all of his teammates.
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