Bowl Season: An Iowa Fan's Cheering Guide
by HoyaGoon on Dec 8, 2009 11:42 AM CST
78 comments
The bowl season is finally upon us (well, not quite but soon). As always, this bowl season promises nothing but exciting interesting guaranteed money-making football matchups. As we all know, the Big Ten's national rep is about as low as it can get, we need bowl wins to boost the league's image. Unfortunately, almost none of the league's bowl teams has much, if any, history against their opponent so it is difficult to anyone to really hate the team they're playing against. Given that lack of natural emotional response, what's an Iowa fan to do? Below, I bring you my rooting interests in the league's bowl games and a few others of note.
I invite you, gentle readers of BHGP, to share your thoughts as well. Because what's college football without the mindless hatred of a team comprised post-adolescents you'll never meet simply because they're playing another team of post-adolescent men on a team you have some degree of affinity for?
Orange Bowl: Iowa, duh. If I need to explain why, you're clearly on the wrong site
Rose Bowl: I'll hold my nose and go with OSU. I don't want to root for the Buckeyes, but let's be honest, the league needs the prestige boost an OSU win would provide. Besides, there's just something about Oregon that really annoys me. Maybe it's the media constantly touting them as the "team on the rise" to watch. Or maybe it's the 5,248 uniform combos, all of which are hideous. Yeah, it's probably the uniforms.
Cap One: PSU, outside of one week a year, who around here has anything negative to say about the Fightin' JoePas?
Outback Bowl: This one is tough. On the one hand, a win over an SEC team would do wonders to boost the Big Ten's rep. Add in the fact that it's against Chizik and you have a strong reason to pull for Northwestern. On the other hand, the eleven jNWU fans in the world are insufferable enough now, can you imagine how bad they'll be if they actually have a bowl win occurring after the Korean War to crow about? Yeah, that would be unbearable; reluctantly, gotta throw my nickel bet behind the Tigers.
Alamo Bowl: MSU, just 'cause. But I give them about a 2% chance.
Insight Bowl: Admittedly, picking a team to root for in this game is like choosing between Stalin and Hitler in a "Nicest Guy" contest, both options suck and run contrary to the basic premise of the decision. I'm approaching this one from the perspective of pure Iowa self-interest. As someone (RossWB maybe?) mentioned in the threads, Rhoads probably guaranteed himself plenty of goodwill just by getting to this bowl while Brewster is starting to feel the heat from his chair. A Minny win probably gives Brewster some breathing room. And for an Iowa fan, the comedic possibilities and guaranteed yearly Hawkeye win Brewster brings to the table are too irresistible to pass up. GO FIGHT BOWL GOPHER TRY WIN BABY!!!!!
Champs Sports Bowl: Don't really care. But I love DA U!
Fiesta (aka Battle of the Unbeatens for Jack Shit!) Bowl: TCU. Boise seems to gimmicky for me and I really like the style of football TCU plays.
Sugar Bowl: Tebow Tears cure every ailment known to man. Thus, we have to collect as many as possible before they disappear into myth (like unicorns, Atlantis and Big XII defenses). And the only way to get more is for Tebow to lose: Go Bearcats!
National Title Game: Two storied powerhouse college football teams with rich traditions and history that I admire and respect coached by two of the least honorable men in college football. I've already used my Stalin-Hitler comparison above (kinda wish I hadn't shot my load so quickly on that one), so I'll go with saying $aban and Brown are like Pol Pot and Idi Amin: pulling for either leaves you feeling dirty. In a close one, gotta go with Alabama, at least $aban doesn't whine as constantly as Mack Brown.
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I think that
there are two themes that can be advanced this season:
1) The Big Ten is better than we thought. In Games 1-7 on your list, we have to pull for the Big Ten. As much as I hate it (and I do), that especially includes Ohio State. The big games count for more.
2) The Big Twelve is horrible/The Pac-10 isn’t that great. We’re not going to overcome the “SEC is God” complex in one bowl season. We’re also not going to overcome it when we’re thought of as the 4th best conference. To that end, to the extent that we can see those two leagues fall on their faces, it’s a good thing. What does it say if MSU could knock of Texas Tech? Good things for the Big Ten. That means good things for Iowa next year.
http://www.rivalryesq.com/
The quintessential Big Ten smoking room.
Why'd we have to send MSU to the Alamo Bowl?
We may have been better served with the gum throwing guy.
"Andrew Jones....SEND IT IN, BIG FELLA!" - Bill Raftery, 4/2/09
by ReadingRambler on Dec 8, 2009 12:38 PM CST up reply actions
You'd prefer the Gophers?
http://www.rivalryesq.com/
The quintessential Big Ten smoking room.
by Bama Hawkeye on Dec 8, 2009 12:49 PM CST up reply actions
My mental picture of this.
Bill Lynch going apeshit crazy on the side judge because Tech lined up in a passing formation that he has never seen before and he thinks it is an illegal formation.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Dec 8, 2009 12:49 PM CST up reply actions
And being pissed about it for 30 minutes afterwards
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
I have an idea.
How ’bout we fill the Rose Bowl to the brim with ice cold water on January 7th. The world could use a few less Texas and Alabama fans.
Watch it.
http://www.rivalryesq.com/
The quintessential Big Ten smoking room.
by Bama Hawkeye on Dec 8, 2009 12:49 PM CST up reply actions
Now I get it
I thought your screen name meant “Bam! A Hawkeye.”
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Dec 8, 2009 8:31 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Another reason to hate Oregon
Giving Lagarrette Blounte (sp?) a third “second chance.” He clearly learned his lesson from his three suspensions. He is now “with the program” as much as DJK.
I'm rooting
for a large, ferrous meteorite to impact Tempe, AZ shortly after 6 PM EST on December 31st.
Let’s go near-Earth objects! WOOOO!!!
Brunettes not fighter jets
Wouldn't a mothership full of flesh-eating Bug Eyed Monsters be more entertaining?
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 8, 2009 2:43 PM CST up reply actions
As long as they were quickly thereafter consumed by Earth's viruses and bacteria
a la War of the Worlds.
Either would be much more entertaining than a Gophers vs. Cyclones game promises to be.
And Heinz should sponsor this game… two teams facing off whose school colors are ketchup and mustard.
Brunettes not fighter jets
Yeah, it's the uniforms
I may hate myself in the morning, but we need OSU to win as a conference
It never gets to be easy
If tOSU loses
I hope they have the decency to get utterly blown out so we can have a good laugh. I’d rather they win, though.
by Brock Sampson on Dec 8, 2009 4:36 PM CST up reply actions
That makes me feel... dirty. And not in a good way.
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 8, 2009 6:26 PM CST up reply actions
Don't bother with that
Everytime we root for OSU to win because we need them to win, they lose.
So I’m proposing we all go back to the usual routine of cursing them, cracking “Arm punt” jokes, and using Voodoo.
That way they’ll actually win.
"Andrew Jones....SEND IT IN, BIG FELLA!" - Bill Raftery, 4/2/09
by ReadingRambler on Dec 9, 2009 9:26 AM CST up reply actions
Root root root for... um, not the home team, I guess.
ROSE: I will hold my nose and root for OSU. If we want the B10 to stop being the butt of so many jokes, we need OSU to step up. Although I agree that if they must lose, I hope they lose in the schadenfreude-iest way to possible.
CAP ONE: JoePa or The Hat? Come on, now.
OUTBACK: To be honest, I think a win over a 7-5 Auburn team that’s perceived to be lucky to be in the Outback Bowl would be as valuable as our win over a 7-5 South Carolina team — which is to say, hardly at all. It’s a win over an SEC team, sure, but it’s still not going to garner much respect. Not to mention that it would mean the end of jNWU’s 60-year run of futility in bowl games (a streak every bit as enjoyable as their lifetime 0-fer in NCAA Tournament appearances) and even more insufferable gloating from their legions dozens of fans. So, no, I will not be rooting for jNWU.
CHAMPS SPORTS: I have a soft spot for Da U, but I will root for Wisco in the name of conference solidarity. It would be nice to see a “big, slow B10 team” kill the closest thing to ESS EEE SEE speed that’s not actually in the SEC.
ALAMO: If MSU wins, I will be happy, but I certainly don’t expect it to happen. And cheering for the Dread Pirate Cap’n Leach is just so much fun.
INSIGHT: Naked self-interest would probably necessitate rooting for Minnesota (per my theory that we want to keep Brewster around in Gophertown), so while I generally hope that’s the end result, personally I’ll be rooting for Iowa State since (a) some of my relatives are ISU alums/fans and (b) I find it extremely distasteful to cheer for Minnesota in anything.
HOLIDAY: Go ’Zona! Beat the fucking Huskers.
FIESTA: I hope the Horned Frogs crush Boise. No reason.
SUGAR: Cincy, I guess. Something about them bugs me, though.
MNC: Gotta be Bama, sadly. Mack irritates me and my roommate is a Texas backer and he’d be insufferable for a good long while afterwards if they win the MNC again.
How can you have a soft spot for the U?
They are the complete opposite program to Iowa. I can’t fathom any Hawkeye liking them unless they grew up in Miami.
…give me the courage and the ability to so conduct myself in every situation that my country, my family, and my friends will be proud of me.
-Nile Kinnick
by Hawkeyewith49Jackrabbits on Dec 8, 2009 9:51 PM CST up reply actions
I shouldn't say much
I was a ND and an FSU fan for a time early in HS. Iowa has been my only D1-A team since I graduated though.
…give me the courage and the ability to so conduct myself in every situation that my country, my family, and my friends will be proud of me.
-Nile Kinnick
by Hawkeyewith49Jackrabbits on Dec 9, 2009 9:51 AM CST up reply actions
Yeah.
I don’t actively root for Miami (well, maybe against Florida), but I don’t hate them with a fiery passion, either. Maybe it was the turn-of-the-decade juggernaut team — I always enjoy watching greatness in action and that team was dripping with it. Ed Reed and Sean Taylor were unfuckingbelievable.
The 80s & early 90s DA U teams were amazing too
Sometimes you just gotta admire dominance. And when Da U has been good, they’ve been great. The swagger of the late 80s version was intimidating and at the same time awesome to behold. The early 200s version was just brutally, mercilessly efficient in the way they went through teams, without any hint that there was any malicious intent behind it. In the end, they were just fun to watch.
Really looking forward to the documentary about Miami on ESPN this Saturday.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
I just can't get over the thug mentality
Not that other college teams don’t have it, but it seems to be an active part of Da U’s image, at least prior to the Randy Shannon era.
/O'keefe'd
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Dec 9, 2009 1:38 PM CST up reply actions
The thing is
The 2000s version of Miami didn’t have that mentality at all, really. Now the Jimmy Jonhson/Craig Erickson-era Miami? Those were some thugs.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Football brawls...
Make no sense. At least in hockey they man-up and take off as much protective gear as possible.
by hawkeyeguy85 on Dec 10, 2009 12:00 PM CST up reply actions
I am positively giddy about the 30-for-30 doc on Miami on Saturday.
Looks fantastic.
Miami is the one power that’s fallen on its ass that I would be happy to see regain its former glory, purely because when Miami is good, college football really is more interesting, IMO. The MSM types bleat about how much better it is when teams like Alabama or Penn State or Nebraska or Notre Dame or whoever are good, but I really don’t give a shit about that. If Bama’s in a down cycle, I’m fine with LSU or Auburn rising up – I’m not going to be any more or less interested. (I guess Michigan would also be an exception, if only because I still feel like a win over Michigan should feel like an accomplishment, rather than Just Another Big Ten Win.) But Miami being good is just more fun, probably because they seem to attract such outsize personalities and freakish talents.
I agree.
I’d prefer it if Miami and FSU were good. Screw Florida. They bring nothing to the table but annoying fans. Sorry, Orson.
Miami has that U SWAG stuff and great, great players. Honestly, if the Big East had Miami, VaTech, BC, and if Pitt was competent, I’d probably be more comfortable in the Big East. I really like the part where they show up in camo jerseys, and get uncomfortable when they realize they’ve created a perfect media narrative because the other team is walking around and suits and ties.
FSU is just fun to root agains as they represent everything I hate about college football.
"Andrew Jones....SEND IT IN, BIG FELLA!" - Bill Raftery, 4/2/09
by ReadingRambler on Dec 9, 2009 2:50 PM CST up reply actions
Florida fans
By and large are like trailer park lottery winners. Sure, you’ve got money and a new station in life. But in the end, you really haven’t done anything to earn your position and everyone’s just waiting until you lose all your money in ill-conceived “investments”.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Fuck.
So you’re saying I need to take that back to Walmart and figure out something else to get the wife this year, huh?
Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart
Follow me on Twitter: @MattLaCasse
by MissouriHawk on Dec 10, 2009 10:28 AM CST up reply actions
Try Big Lots
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 10, 2009 1:47 PM CST up reply actions
I refuse to ever root for Ohio State, and you can't talk me into it.
In fact, fuck everyone in the Big Ten except Iowa and Penn State. I’ve hated you all season, I’m not about to start now.
But fuck Ohio State the most of all
Always and forever.
At spring break in Daytona one year
(yeah, I’m that old) I asked a girl with a Univ. of Georgia T-shirt to dance. She was very hot and she asked me “Where do you go to schoooool?” With that wickedly wonderful southern girly drawl.
“Iowa!” I yelled over the music. Then she replied, " Where is that?"
“Iowa!” I yelled over the music. Then she replied, " Oh, well down here we pronounce that Ohio you know."
I’ve hated Ohio and all college thereof ever since.
"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz
So, you didn't get lucky, eh?
That’s no reason to be bitter about the South, dude. ;)
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 8, 2009 10:09 PM CST up reply actions
It's the perfect reason
I decided to be bitter about Ohio though.
"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz
Well, some hate is good.
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 9, 2009 12:05 PM CST up reply actions
...
There are few things more unattractive than someone who doesn’t know their own country’s geography. Color me prude, but I would congratulate you for not pursuing this one.
/O'keefe'd
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Dec 8, 2009 11:53 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Given that logic, Sarah Palin actually *is* hot.
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 9, 2009 2:33 PM CST up reply actions
Well, given that criteria....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpGH02DtIws
"Andrew Jones....SEND IT IN, BIG FELLA!" - Bill Raftery, 4/2/09
by ReadingRambler on Dec 9, 2009 2:45 PM CST up reply actions
Obama is < funny than Mr. Spock
His timing just sucks.
Ok, back to sports. Sort of.
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 9, 2009 5:08 PM CST up reply actions
So you are trying to tell me that was a joke?
…give me the courage and the ability to so conduct myself in every situation that my country, my family, and my friends will be proud of me.
-Nile Kinnick
by Hawkeyewith49Jackrabbits on Dec 9, 2009 6:59 PM CST up reply actions
Agree
Shit happens when you’re campaigning 24/7
"Andrew Jones....SEND IT IN, BIG FELLA!" - Bill Raftery, 4/2/09
by ReadingRambler on Dec 9, 2009 7:47 PM CST up reply actions
Don't forget 365
If the economy doesn’t improve, the Zook could get elected in 2012. He does have good hair.
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 9, 2009 10:55 PM CST up reply actions
Tell me you wouldn't enjoy a Zook presidency
Yeah, the economy would suck, and Americans would constantly illegally cross the Mexican border, and yeah, Russia would probably nuke us after Zookah drunkenly sent a picture of his genitals to Putin, but the press conferences would be INCREDIBLE.
"Andrew Jones....SEND IT IN, BIG FELLA!" - Bill Raftery, 4/2/09
by ReadingRambler on Dec 9, 2009 11:34 PM CST up reply actions
I would prefer a Brewster presidency.
The twitter feed FIGHT JOBS EDUCATION WIN TRY STIMULUS GOPHERS would be worth the decade-long recession.
by Abbas_Cincinnatus on Dec 10, 2009 8:15 AM CST up reply actions
You should have gone all Musburger on her:
“You wanna see my combine? No, seriously, back in Winterset, we actually have a combine.”
"Andrew Jones....SEND IT IN, BIG FELLA!" - Bill Raftery, 4/2/09
by ReadingRambler on Dec 9, 2009 9:29 AM CST up reply actions
I have time to figure this out, but this is the present order in which I care about the televen teams still playing:
1) Iowa to win
2) PSU to win
3) Wisconsin to win
4) jfNW to lose (can’t help it, the 0fer bowls makes me laugh)
5) MSU to win (won’t happen, but I’d rather they win than lose)
6) Minnesota/ISU – I think the coaching mismatch dictates Rhoads will win this one. Plus, it’ll be funny.
6a) what to do with tOSU? I have zero faith in that team. If they get down 14 early, and they could, they’re done. Tressell can’t play from behind – he doesn’t trust Pryor for shit. So …. it’s a conference solidarity conundrum. But, fuck them. I hope those smug bastards lose by 40.
If Brewster is shoved out the airlock to Kansas, ISU wins big
I can’t see Minny or its players being motivated at all with some type of interim coach and total uncertainty about the future. And I agree that Rhoads is a better coach and he’s good enough that we may be shitting our pants during future ISU-IA games. OTOH, beating the daylights out of an ISU team that goes on to have a great season is always more satisfying, to me, than walloping guys that couldn’t make our practice squad even if they offering hookers and blow for PT.
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 9, 2009 12:04 PM CST up reply actions
I doubt there will be pants-shitting
But I think ISU will start swinging the pendulum back towards “respectable mid-level Big XII team” and away from “pants-on-head-retarded.”
"I am so proud to be your coach." -Paul Rhoads
If the Big 12 north gets any worse than it is
You guys won’t have to improve much. :-p
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 9, 2009 5:09 PM CST up reply actions
Sadly,
I think the B XIIN is on it’s way back. Missouri will be markedly better next year, Nebraska should be tough, and ISU is heading in the right direction. That said…it’s still the BXIIN
Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart
Follow me on Twitter: @MattLaCasse
by MissouriHawk on Dec 10, 2009 10:34 AM CST up reply actions
Also
Ron Prince: no longer a head coach
"Andrew Jones....SEND IT IN, BIG FELLA!" - Bill Raftery, 4/2/09
by ReadingRambler on Dec 10, 2009 11:46 AM CST up reply actions
Yeah?
Well, at least we can use more than five words of the English langauge. Do Iowans have a mental block or something?
"Andrew Jones....SEND IT IN, BIG FELLA!" - Bill Raftery, 4/2/09
by ReadingRambler on Dec 10, 2009 12:48 PM CST up reply actions
Your quarterback reads Twilight
And that’s four words, bitch.
"Andrew Jones....SEND IT IN, BIG FELLA!" - Bill Raftery, 4/2/09
by ReadingRambler on Dec 10, 2009 1:58 PM CST up reply actions
Next he'll be asking you if your QB reads at all
Defenses, probably.
;)
Oh, I suppose I should wish you Happy Holidays while I’m at it here.
I still haven’t posted on BSD… waiting for the right op.
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 10, 2009 2:03 PM CST up reply actions
That's the plan
Never met a PSU fan that I didn’t like and that wasn’t just an awesome human being. :)
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 11, 2009 12:13 AM CST up reply actions
What's the point of reading defenses when his half-assed bum wide recievers do nothing?
"Andrew Jones....SEND IT IN, BIG FELLA!" - Bill Raftery, 4/2/09
by ReadingRambler on Dec 10, 2009 2:57 PM CST up reply actions
At least we don't typecast ourselves
Sheesh
"Andrew Jones....SEND IT IN, BIG FELLA!" - Bill Raftery, 4/2/09
by ReadingRambler on Dec 10, 2009 10:41 PM CST up reply actions
I've run this comment through MS Word word count
It’s six words.
You’re really not very good at this, are you?
"Andrew Jones....SEND IT IN, BIG FELLA!" - Bill Raftery, 4/2/09
by ReadingRambler on Dec 12, 2009 10:55 PM CST up reply actions
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