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Around SBN: MLB Trade Rumors: Edwin Jackson to the White Sox, DC next?

Adrian Clayborn Will Be Speaking Through An Interpreter Today

Iconmarcmo_medium So, Adrian, what do you make of

Iconclayborn_medium Please, all questions go through my dog.

Iconmarcmo_medium Wait, why did you bring a dog? Are you serious?

Iconclayborn_medium As a motherfucking heart attack.

Iconmarcmo_medium What'd you name it?

Iconclayborn_medium I named him after my favorite reporter, so, Bark Morehouse.

Iconmarcmo_medium Aw, thanks!

Iconclayborn_medium Just kidding, his name is Ace.

Iconmarcmo_medium :-(

Star-divide

Iconmarcmo_medium So, um...

Iconclayborn_medium Talk to the dog.

Iconmarcmo_medium So "Ace."

Acdog_medium 

Iconace_medium arf

Iconmarcmo_medium How do you think your master's going to treat Josh Nesbitt next month?

Iconace_medium Ruff!

Iconclayborn_medium Told you the dog's smart.

Iconmarcmo_medium You actually didn't tell me anything close to that.

Iconclayborn_medium Yes I did.

Iconmarcmo_medium Okay sir.

Iconmarcmo_medium And, pooch, what do you think of Paul Johnson as a worthy adversary?

Iconace_medium (growls)

Iconmarcmo_medium Haha, this is great.

Iconmarcmo_medium Your thoughts on Jonathan Dwyer?

Iconace_medium (pisses on the carpet)

Iconmarcmo_medium Okay, this is ridiculous and unsanitary. I think I got urine on my shoes. Can we just stop this?

Iconclayborn_medium Fine. And I didn't train him to answer any of those questions. He just felt like barking and pissing.

Iconmarcmo_medium Weird. So then, Adrian, your thoughts on Jon Dwyer?

Iconclayborn_medium (pisses on the carpet)

2 recs  |  Comment 37 comments |

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Brilliant

I am looking forward to the one-handed, crushing shoulder tackles by AC on Nesbit while blocked, a la Austen Arnaud.

by shada's revenge on Dec 8, 2009 6:25 AM CST reply actions  

Fantastic

Talk to my dog, Dawg.

by ICHawk on Dec 8, 2009 7:21 AM CST reply actions  

When pitbulls are trained correctly...

…they are absolutely awesome animals. Unfortunately, very few people know how to train pitbulls. Cute puppies, though.

In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).

Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.

by tyger1147 on Dec 8, 2009 8:01 AM CST reply actions  

I am a cold-hearted, cynical, unsentimental bastard

and even I can’t help but think “Awww, that puppy is so cute!”

And Tyger is right, a properly-trained pit bull is one of the most amazing animals in the world, so friendly and loyal. I hope AC does right by this dog (i.e. train it to ONLY attack cab drivers. Too soon?).

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Dec 8, 2009 8:35 AM CST up reply actions  

On a related note

Did anyone happen to read the SI issue a year or so ago about the surviving Bad Newz Kennels dogs that were adopted by families around the US? If you’re into touching stories about adorable pit bulls, it’s pretty great.

/O'keefe'd

by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Dec 8, 2009 8:44 AM CST up reply actions  

What about stalkers?

Have to train it to attack stalkers, right?

Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart

Follow me on Twitter: @MattLaCasse

by MissouriHawk on Dec 8, 2009 8:45 AM CST up reply actions  

Alternatively, perhaps the dog is being trained to catch panties

A good player will be prepared for all situations.

"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash

by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 8, 2009 11:54 AM CST up reply actions  

+1

for ‘panties’

Gotta get up to get down

by Gustav on Dec 8, 2009 6:38 PM CST up reply actions  

Well, that's great.

Because nothing bad ever happens when Hawkeye defensive linemen buy pit bulls.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2771566

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Dec 9, 2009 3:14 PM CST up reply actions  

Is anyone else...

wondering why Clayborn hasn’t had that dog’s claws clipped yet? Probably not dog fighting, right? Right?

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Dec 9, 2009 3:16 PM CST up reply actions  

Agreed

My parents have 1 full grown and 2 puppies and those puppies would be lost without having all the kids around to play with. They rescued the full grown from an abusive family, and it took her (its a female) almost 2 years before she warmed up to anyone but my dad.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Dec 8, 2009 9:17 AM CST up reply actions  

Pretty sure

he’s the only one on this team that is capable of looking MORE menacing holding a puppy on a leash. Jus’ sayin.

by TAMPAHAWK on Dec 8, 2009 8:04 AM CST reply actions  

I'm working "iconmarcmo.jpg" into every ridiculous post I write from here on out.

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Hawkeye State on Dec 8, 2009 9:20 AM CST up reply actions  

Little known fact:

Adrian Clayborn keeps the dog around for crowd control – if a reporter gets too close the dog will intercede so AC doesn’t bite his/her/Pam Ward’s head off.

I have occupational turrettes... My job makes me swear uncontrolably at everyone.

It's too early for football to be over, goddamit!!

by Ioweegin on Dec 8, 2009 8:46 AM CST reply actions  

This made me lol.

Mainly because Pam Ward is given a generic gender assignment.

Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart

Follow me on Twitter: @MattLaCasse

by MissouriHawk on Dec 8, 2009 8:52 AM CST up reply actions  

my gf refuses to acknowledge her as a member of the snatch club

and she’s got a vote on the board of directors, so its pretty official…

Keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that aint legal either, Dude.

by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Dec 8, 2009 8:56 AM CST up reply actions  

She is? Wow, she has my condolences

Must be nigh-impossible to understand Brad Pitt at those meetings.

by With Ferentz Like These... on Dec 8, 2009 9:07 AM CST up reply actions  

The first rule of Snatch Club

is you do not talk about Snatch Club.

So basically what Orwell was saying was, "it's not perfect, but I'll take it."

by Mogwai on Dec 8, 2009 9:57 AM CST via mobile up reply actions  

mumble mumble caravan

mumble mumble ass or crotch?

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on Dec 8, 2009 10:55 AM CST up reply actions  

Sorry guys, but Adrian won't be blocked much

Mr. Clayborn will no doubt have ample opportunity to lay wood to Josh Nesbitt, but he won’t be fighting through blocks to do it. Most of the time when Nesbitt runs the ball, GT leaves the playside DE unblocked and the QB pitches as he gets hit, or ducks upfield if the DE chooses to play the pitch.

Tech’s left tackle weighs 250, and generally spends his time blocking linebackers and safeties. The right tackle is a third-stringer because of injuries (although the 280-lb. first-string guy MIGHT be back), so Tech tends to run left. Neither of them does much blocking against DEs, except for the rare pass play.

When Clayborn DOES get blocked, it’ll probably involve a slotback diving at his shins.

by Golden Hand on Dec 8, 2009 11:44 AM CST reply actions  

Why are you telling us Adrian won’t be blocked much and acting like it’s something we don’t know?

You could maybe try to block him, but he’ll fucking murder your ass.

I check cheddar like a food inspector

by SpanishJohnny on Dec 8, 2009 11:53 AM CST up reply actions  

fine

AC will just play DE, LB, and Safety all at the same time.

by KentuckyThunderPussy on Dec 8, 2009 11:53 AM CST up reply actions  

Point taken

Just sayin’, Tech won’t try to block him. Mostly because they’re ascared of that puppy.

by Golden Hand on Dec 8, 2009 12:11 PM CST reply actions  

Greatly offended . . .

I took years and years of “dog” in high school and college. I speak it fluently. I’ve even mastered the “dawg” dialect.

Still, half the time I don’t know what Angerer is talking about.

"I always like it better when the clowns seem to try to be happy."

by MarcMorehouse on Dec 8, 2009 4:21 PM CST reply actions  

is that because

you don’t have any jail tats?? pretty sure Pat can hook you up

Gotta get up to get down

by Gustav on Dec 8, 2009 6:42 PM CST up reply actions  

Pat Angerer operates on a higher plane of existants than any of us could ever hope to reach

I consider him to be my mentor and spiritual adviser, but I must confess to being confused by his words at time too. There are some things we mortals were not meant to understand. Such is life.

by NorseHawk on Dec 8, 2009 7:23 PM CST up reply actions  

shit that's wrong too

Existence

Whatever, fuck spelling, the point is Pat Angerer rules

by NorseHawk on Dec 8, 2009 7:24 PM CST up reply actions  

To know the path, you must walk the path

Just watch the first Matrix movie and you’ll understand.

"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash

by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 8, 2009 10:14 PM CST up reply actions  

Speaking of balls

Totally kid and work safe, with a high “Awwwwww” factor.

http://vimeo.com/7978890

"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash

by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 9, 2009 4:48 PM CST up reply actions  

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