Adrian Clayborn Will Be Speaking Through An Interpreter Today
by Adam Jacobi on Dec 8, 2009 2:44 AM CST
in Football
37 comments
So, Adrian, what do you make of
Please, all questions go through my dog.
Wait, why did you bring a dog? Are you serious?
As a motherfucking heart attack.
What'd you name it?
I named him after my favorite reporter, so, Bark Morehouse.
Aw, thanks!
Just kidding, his name is Ace.
:-(
So, um...
Talk to the dog.
So "Ace."
arf
How do you think your master's going to treat Josh Nesbitt next month?
Ruff!
Told you the dog's smart.
You actually didn't tell me anything close to that.
Yes I did.
Okay sir.
And, pooch, what do you think of Paul Johnson as a worthy adversary?
(growls)
Haha, this is great.
Your thoughts on Jonathan Dwyer?
(pisses on the carpet)
Okay, this is ridiculous and unsanitary. I think I got urine on my shoes. Can we just stop this?
Fine. And I didn't train him to answer any of those questions. He just felt like barking and pissing.
Weird. So then, Adrian, your thoughts on Jon Dwyer?
(pisses on the carpet)
2 recs |
37 comments
|
Email
Print
Comments
Brilliant
I am looking forward to the one-handed, crushing shoulder tackles by AC on Nesbit while blocked, a la Austen Arnaud.
When pitbulls are trained correctly...
…they are absolutely awesome animals. Unfortunately, very few people know how to train pitbulls. Cute puppies, though.
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
I am a cold-hearted, cynical, unsentimental bastard
and even I can’t help but think “Awww, that puppy is so cute!”
And Tyger is right, a properly-trained pit bull is one of the most amazing animals in the world, so friendly and loyal. I hope AC does right by this dog (i.e. train it to ONLY attack cab drivers. Too soon?).
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
On a related note
Did anyone happen to read the SI issue a year or so ago about the surviving Bad Newz Kennels dogs that were adopted by families around the US? If you’re into touching stories about adorable pit bulls, it’s pretty great.
/O'keefe'd
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Dec 8, 2009 8:44 AM CST up reply actions
What about stalkers?
Have to train it to attack stalkers, right?
Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart
Follow me on Twitter: @MattLaCasse
Alternatively, perhaps the dog is being trained to catch panties
A good player will be prepared for all situations.
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 8, 2009 11:54 AM CST up reply actions
Well, that's great.
Because nothing bad ever happens when Hawkeye defensive linemen buy pit bulls.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2771566
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 9, 2009 3:14 PM CST up reply actions
Is anyone else...
wondering why Clayborn hasn’t had that dog’s claws clipped yet? Probably not dog fighting, right? Right?
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 9, 2009 3:16 PM CST up reply actions
Agreed
My parents have 1 full grown and 2 puppies and those puppies would be lost without having all the kids around to play with. They rescued the full grown from an abusive family, and it took her (its a female) almost 2 years before she warmed up to anyone but my dad.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Dec 8, 2009 9:17 AM CST up reply actions
Pretty sure
he’s the only one on this team that is capable of looking MORE menacing holding a puppy on a leash. Jus’ sayin.
I'm working "iconmarcmo.jpg" into every ridiculous post I write from here on out.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
by Hawkeye State on Dec 8, 2009 9:20 AM CST up reply actions
Little known fact:
Adrian Clayborn keeps the dog around for crowd control – if a reporter gets too close the dog will intercede so AC doesn’t bite his/her/Pam Ward’s head off.
I have occupational turrettes... My job makes me swear uncontrolably at everyone.
It's too early for football to be over, goddamit!!
This made me lol.
Mainly because Pam Ward is given a generic gender assignment.
Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart
Follow me on Twitter: @MattLaCasse
my gf refuses to acknowledge her as a member of the snatch club
and she’s got a vote on the board of directors, so its pretty official…
Keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that aint legal either, Dude.
by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Dec 8, 2009 8:56 AM CST up reply actions
She is? Wow, she has my condolences
Must be nigh-impossible to understand Brad Pitt at those meetings.
by With Ferentz Like These... on Dec 8, 2009 9:07 AM CST up reply actions
The first rule of Snatch Club
is you do not talk about Snatch Club.
So basically what Orwell was saying was, "it's not perfect, but I'll take it."
by Mogwai on Dec 8, 2009 9:57 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
Sorry guys, but Adrian won't be blocked much
Mr. Clayborn will no doubt have ample opportunity to lay wood to Josh Nesbitt, but he won’t be fighting through blocks to do it. Most of the time when Nesbitt runs the ball, GT leaves the playside DE unblocked and the QB pitches as he gets hit, or ducks upfield if the DE chooses to play the pitch.
Tech’s left tackle weighs 250, and generally spends his time blocking linebackers and safeties. The right tackle is a third-stringer because of injuries (although the 280-lb. first-string guy MIGHT be back), so Tech tends to run left. Neither of them does much blocking against DEs, except for the rare pass play.
When Clayborn DOES get blocked, it’ll probably involve a slotback diving at his shins.
Why are you telling us Adrian won’t be blocked much and acting like it’s something we don’t know?
You could maybe try to block him, but he’ll fucking murder your ass.
I check cheddar like a food inspector
by SpanishJohnny on Dec 8, 2009 11:53 AM CST up reply actions
fine
AC will just play DE, LB, and Safety all at the same time.
by KentuckyThunderPussy on Dec 8, 2009 11:53 AM CST up reply actions
Point taken
Just sayin’, Tech won’t try to block him. Mostly because they’re ascared of that puppy.
Greatly offended . . .
I took years and years of “dog” in high school and college. I speak it fluently. I’ve even mastered the “dawg” dialect.
Still, half the time I don’t know what Angerer is talking about.
"I always like it better when the clowns seem to try to be happy."
is that because
you don’t have any jail tats?? pretty sure Pat can hook you up
Gotta get up to get down
Pat Angerer operates on a higher plane of existants than any of us could ever hope to reach
I consider him to be my mentor and spiritual adviser, but I must confess to being confused by his words at time too. There are some things we mortals were not meant to understand. Such is life.
shit that's wrong too
Existence
Whatever, fuck spelling, the point is Pat Angerer rules
To know the path, you must walk the path
Just watch the first Matrix movie and you’ll understand.
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 8, 2009 10:14 PM CST up reply actions
Ace and Cash need to meet and form a canine crime-fighting duo
Or just sniff each other’s balls.
Whichever.
by Bucketochicken on Dec 8, 2009 9:58 PM CST up reply actions
Speaking of balls
Totally kid and work safe, with a high “Awwwwww” factor.
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
by Leftcoast Hawk on Dec 9, 2009 4:48 PM CST up reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
Related FanPosts on Black Heart Gold Pants
Related FanShots on Black Heart Gold Pants
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2010 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
