The Hawkeye Bitchmade Anthology: Volume 5 - Scott Tolzien
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Dec 30, 2009 12:00 PM CST
in Iowa Hawkeyes Football
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On the fifth day of Christmas, HFMR gave to me: Scott Tolzien
Plus a bonus! The loneliest quarterback:
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Jacory Harris should somehow be included in this.
"Jamelle Cornley is 6’4", and 6’3" of it is balls." - RUTS
by ReadingRambler on Dec 30, 2009 12:24 PM CST reply actions
Perfect
After last night’s bowl game where the sadgers bitchmade the Hurricanes and the huge dose of love Andy Staples from SI.com gave them and Tolzien specifically. I guess the level of competition in the ACC isn’t all that. Nothing makes me feel better than having the sadgers make us look even better.
Seriously, what isn't better with bacon?
by The Bacon Explosion on Dec 30, 2009 12:25 PM CST reply actions
BTW
That second pick by Spievey was a thing of fucking beauty. He was in prime position and broke to snatch that ball right out of the receiver’s hands. Added to the fact that if the sadger caught it TMFS was going to decapitate him.
Seriously, what isn't better with bacon?
by The Bacon Explosion on Dec 30, 2009 12:30 PM CST up reply actions
Route Running
I love the fact of knowing that our linebackers can run other teams routes better than their own receivers, i.e. A.J. Edds at 0:50 seconds.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Dec 30, 2009 12:30 PM CST reply actions
Unfortunately
This will be the last chapter of the (regular season) bitchmaking anthology unless someone can find the Minnesota game for me. I’ve looked everywhere and haven’t found it. If anyone has it, let me know.
It would be a shame to waste a 14/40, 2 fumble, 5 sack performance…….
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Dec 30, 2009 1:03 PM CST reply actions
Great
I have no reason to come to work tomorrow if there isn’t going to be a sixth day of Christmas.
Seriously, what isn't better with bacon?
by The Bacon Explosion on Dec 30, 2009 1:14 PM CST up reply actions
Oh, I didn't say there would be no more days of Christmas...
It’s just the end of the bitchmade anthology
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Dec 30, 2009 1:43 PM CST up reply actions
Sweet!
My boss thanks you, sort of.
Seriously, what isn't better with bacon?
by The Bacon Explosion on Dec 30, 2009 3:18 PM CST up reply actions
ESPN 360 has a replay or....
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Dec 30, 2009 1:18 PM CST up reply actions
5? Really?
Clayborn was so dominant I thought it would be higher than that.
"Jamelle Cornley is 6’4", and 6’3" of it is balls." - RUTS
by ReadingRambler on Dec 30, 2009 1:31 PM CST up reply actions
i just watched 'nobody loves tolzien"
7 times in a row. everyone in my office now thinks i have checked out for the weekend (which is true). good work HFMR
Gotta get up to get down
I wish I made the "Nobody Loves Tolzien" video, but I didn't.
It’s still funny every time I watch it, though.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Dec 30, 2009 2:07 PM CST up reply actions
Reminds me of the scene in The Waterboy
Slap hands!! Slap hands!!
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Dec 30, 2009 2:44 PM CST up reply actions
Check out the scene
After the Indians won the final game in the first Major League movie. There is a fat guy in a stripped shirt (bottom left corner) looking for someone to high five. QB Tolzien has seen this movie.
Seriously, what isn't better with bacon?
by The Bacon Explosion on Dec 30, 2009 3:23 PM CST up reply actions
There's also a kid in the crowd
wearing an Iowa football jersey (#14 – at the time, Tom Poholsky).
by Bucketochicken on Dec 31, 2009 6:52 AM CST up reply actions
the hilarity
is that he was walking up and down the sidelines and absolutely NO ONE wanted anything to do with him. makes you wonder what was going on at that point in the game
Gotta get up to get down
I'm with you there.
And also, which game is this during? It’s a road game considering they are wearing their white unis.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Dec 30, 2009 3:52 PM CST up reply actions
@ Ohio State
He threw a pair of pick 6’s. Wisconsin had almost 200 more yards on offense and they still lost by 18.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Dec 30, 2009 4:23 PM CST up reply actions
It was nice of Tolzien to join the long, proud tradition of Badger QBs that were bitchmade by Iowa's defense.
I still vividly recall Iowa mauling Badger QBs in 2002 — I think they got down to their third-stringer that day.
Whoever they had last year (Sherer?) got pwned pretty badly, too.
Oh, that so made me giggle....
It gets more pitiful with each edition. So many bitches, so little time.
"Wow. You know you have problems when even the cheerleaders know you suck." ~ Pain in the Sash
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