(PROGRAMMING NOTE:  BHGP has family stuff -- like trips to Sin City -- and will therefore be going dark on Thursday and Friday for the Christmas holiday.)

HADOUCHEKIN!  Via NYM's Vulture blog, Jersey Shore meets Street Fighter II:

This Aggression Will Not Stand, Man.  One more week has passed, and there is still no resolution of the Sinclair-Mediacom Standoff of 2009.  It is looking increasingly likely that Mediacom subscribers in Iowa City and Cedar Rapids will have to find a location with satellite service to watch the Orange Bowl; in related news, you can hear the cheers of bar owners in the Corridor from up to 50 miles away.

In a hostage crisis like this, where tens of thousands of Iowa fans are being held for ransom by a loathsome corporate media monolith at the detriment of a poorly-run cable monopoly with a penchant for whining, we need leadership.  We need courage.  We need...Loebsack?

Congressman Dave Loebsack (D-IA) called Federal Communications Commission Chairman Julius Genachowski, encouraging him to help protect the interests of Iowans before December 31st. The University of Iowa Hawkeyes will play the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets in the Orange Bowl as part of the Bowl Championship Series in January, and Congressman Loebsack urged the Chairman to help resolve the cable dispute before the Orange Bowl.

"With the University of Iowa playing in the Orange Bowl on January 5th, thousands of Iowans risk missing the game due to the ongoing disagreement between Mediacom and Sinclair," said Congressman Loebsack. "As the deadline of December 31st nears, my constituents are growing increasingly concerned that they may lose access to the Cedar Rapids-based CBS station KGAN as well as the Cedar Rapids-based Fox station, KFXA."

You've got to hand it to him: Loebsack, whose three-year Congressional career-to-date has essentially been, "Run a campaign in the loosest sense of the word, upset Jim Leach in a race nobody thought he could win, grab a spot on the back bench and hold on for dear life to a secure seat," is nobody's fool.  He knows where his constituents' loyalties lay, and can use the eventual settlement of this disagreement (you just know this is getting done on December 30) as his Arafat-Rabin moment.  It's just good politics.

Oops, Let's Do It Again.  After spending the majority of her student loan money on a front-row seat to Iowa's October 3 game with Arkansas State so that she could scream at Adrian Clayborn for two hours before being arrested, local crackpot Britney Mears was found guilty of third-degree harassment:

According to court records filed Monday, Mears, 22, of 2748 Heinz Road, was found guilty of third-degree harassment by a jury. She went to trial on the charge on Dec. 14.

According to an Iowa City police criminal complaint, Mears was seated in the first row of Kinnick Stadium behind the players’ bench during the Oct. 3 game against Arkansas State. Police said Mears, a UI student from New London, called out Clayborn’s name throughout the first three quarters of the game and drew negative attention to herself.

Clayborn was not named in the criminal complaint, but he was identified in a no-contact order filed after the charges.

As the story explains, this was not the first time Mears was charged with harassing our favorite Hasidic-rabbi-turned-terrormonster: Earlier this year, she was charged when, despite being warned to stop driving by Clayborn's workplace, she wouldn't stop circling Beaver Stadium in her Prius.

Mears' attorney immediately moved for a new trial, claiming the jury had received an incorrect instruction and employing the oft-used tactic of ignoring the part of the charge that clearly applies to your client:

According to court records, Mears’ attorney, Stephen Greenleaf of Iowa City, filed a motion for a new trial and a brief supporting that motion on Monday. Greenleaf said the verdict was not supported by the evidence and the jury was not properly instructed.

In the brief, Greenleaf states Clayborn only testified that Mears and another person were yelling his name during the game. Greenleaf also states the prosecution failed to prove Mears had a specific intent to "threaten, intimidate or alarm" Clayborn with her actions.

"Annoyed? Yes. Threatened? No." Greenleaf wrote.

We have to agree with Greenleaf on that point: Adrian Clayborn is not threatened or intimidated by anything, let alone a lunatic repeatedly driving by his place of employment...wait, does that say alarmed?  Oh, well, yeah.  He probably was alarmed.  Sentencing is set for the end of February.

Caring Is Creepy.  You win some, you lose some: Iowa picks up a wide receiver commitment hours after losing a defensive lineman.  First, the good news: Kevonte Martin-Manley (2* Rivals, 2* Scout, 3*/75 ESPN) will keep the Iowa Hyphenated Wide Receiver tradition alive, after decommitting from Bowling Green and pledging his loyalty to the Hawkeyes.  In related news, "Who's the Manley?" shirts will be available in 2011.

The bad news: KMM (trademark pending) will be taking the spot formerly held by Harlan OLB/DE Matt Hoch, who changed his commitment from Iowa to Missouri over the weekend.  The change wasn't exactly a surprise: Hoch's brother Dan took over the starting right tackle spot for the Tigers this season, and Matt chose to take an official visit to Mizzou despite accepting Iowa's offer six months ago.  Given the surplus of defensive linemen in this class, it's not a debilitating loss.  It nevertheless drew an idiotic response from PantherHawk, who is apparently attempting to make history by writing something so egregiously stupid ON ANOTHER SITE that we have no choice but to banhammer him from here.

In other recruiting news, Iowa RB commit Marcus Coker -- who chose Iowa by process of elimination after finding out Wake Forest wanted him at fullback and Minnesota was coached by Tim Brewster, then spent the fall skullfucking the eastern seaboard -- picked up a fourth star, and is now the nation's #21 rated halfback, per Rivals.  One more star and he gets a free personal pan pizza at Pizza Hut!

Foot's Notes:

• Hawkmania gets Pat Angerer to discuss his last run-in with an option quarterback: Iowa safety (and former Pleasant Valley QB) Brett Greenwood.  EPIC and backup WLB/MLB/weird 3-4 replacement Jeff Tarpinian were both option quarterbacks in high school, though neither was playing in anything remotely approaching the Paul Johnson triple option.
• People, it's called the fucking Shift key.  It makes the small letters bigger. You should use it for proper nouns and the first word of each sentence, especially when you're sending an email to Rittenberg clearly indicating you're from Cedar Rapids.  I usually read these before dawn; stop making me talk like Hank Moody before I can even get a fucking cup of coffee.
• Hawkeye Recruiter: Love the concept and like the blog, but there's a good explanation of why Rivals and Scout have Iowa listed second on Seantrel Henderson's list of schools: They're listing his top 8 in alphabetical order.
• Sports Media Watch lists the decade's 10 worst sports shows.  Minnesota Football with Tim Brewster is conspicuous by its absence.  (Seriously, guys, how do you miss Best Damn Sports Show Period?)
• Sean Keeler says Notre Dame or Bust for Big Ten expansion.