[Well, we're definitely bumping this.--OPS]

Scene: A shabby office on the campus of the University of Minnesota. Head Football Coach Tim Brewster  is cornered on a chair, having a "discussion".

 I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about the Kansas job. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does Joel Maturi look like?

What?

What country are you from?

What?

 What ain't no country I've ever heard of. Do they speak English in What?

What?

English mother fucker! Do you speak it?

GO FIGHT TRY WIN BEST

 Describe what Joel Maturi looks like. And say 'what' again. I dare you. I double dare you mother fucker! Say 'what' one more Goddamn time!

He's old.

Go on.

He's white.

Does he look like a bitch?

What?

BOOM

(Brewster's lower left leg goes flying off at the knee)

GO FIGHT TRY PAIN

DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?

NO!

 Then why are you trying to fuck him like a bitch, Tim?

I didn't!

Yes you did! Yes you did, Tim. And Joel Maturi don't like to be fucked by nobody but Mrs. Maturi.

GO FIGHT TRY STAY AT MINNESOTA 

 That's what I thought.