The JoePa Chronicles: Joe Paterno Seals The Deal
by Adam Jacobi on Dec 1, 2009 8:00 AM CST
in Football
50 comments
Scene: A familiar football office. The regular season is over, and the phones have largely stopped ringing, save for bored reporters. The same faces are in the office, but only to put in their minimum of hours for payroll's sake. An aging man stares at a newspaper, bewildered.
THIS CROSSWORD MAKES NO SENSE
THERE IS NO NINE-LETTERED WORD WITH A FIVE AND A DEVIL'S E IN IT
What, that? That's a 3, Dad.
NOT ANOTHER WORD OF YOUR SECULAR NONSENSE, JUNIOR
Sorry, Dad; I didn't mean to denigrate such a great and noble vowel.
I DID MOVE A GREAT AND NOBLE BOWEL THIS WEEKEND
THANKSGIVING WILL DO THAT TO YOUR DIGESTIVE TRACT
Ew. Anyway, that isn't even a crossword. You're doing it all wrong.
WHAT IS THIS
That's a sudoku. You put the numbers 1 thr
A WHAT
Sudoku. It's Japanese.
CONFOUND THOSE EAST ASIAN JACKALS
SO LONG AS I'M HEAD HONCHO OF THIS GREAT PROGRAM, I'LL NEVER USE ONE OF THEIR BASTARD WORDS IN MY VOCABULARY
Why don't you read the rest of the paper? Says here Charlie Weis got fired.
FINE
And there's going to be a new season of Burn Notice!
WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT
Yeah, I know, slow news day. Wait--Dad, holy crap! Bobby Bowden's retiring!
Why, that must be wonderful news, Mr. Paterno!
OH
Yeah, check it out. So you win! The win record's all yours and nobody's probably ever going to take it.
OH
HOW ABOUT THAT
You... you don't seem all that thrilled.
NOT REALLY
Are you just more focused on getting the team ready for the bowl? Because that probably makes more sens
NO
GOD DAMN IT, BOBBY
...Mr. Paterno?
I NEED A DRINK
WHISKEY AND SECRETARY BLOOD
I should go now.
Why aren't you ecstatic, Pops? You spent your entire life chasing and keeping that record. Now you have it. I don't get it.
THAT'S JUST IT
NOW I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO DO
Except coach Penn State football, you mean! Ha, ha, ha!
THIS JOB IS GOING TO BE SO MISERABLE NOW
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7 wins to 400.
15 wins to tie Eddie Robinson. 24 wins to be the head coach for half of PSU’s all-time wins. JoePa can hit all of those marks if he coaches for three more years. I don’t think he’s going away unless he physically deteriorates or if he starts not fearing the reaper.
I think that's because
When they were in elementary school together, JoePa used to beat up the Reaper and steal his lunch money. Older kids can be such bullies that way.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Age old story
Skinny, bony kid gets picked on in school for years, then one day dons a black cloak and goes on a rampage.
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Dec 1, 2009 11:15 AM CST up reply actions
What if Penn State
goes another year without beating a ranked opponent? Would PSU give him the Bobby Bowden treatment?
With Alabama, Iowa and Ohio State on the road next year and a new QB….well, let’s just say I’ll be watching.
"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz
In a word: "no"
Besides the fact that we may beat a ranked opponent in a bowl game (LSU’s d-line isn’t that great, from what I’ve seen or from what the rankings say), and besides the fact that people aren’t really that upset about losing to ranked opponents (we’ve actually only played one team that was ranked on gameday – OSU), preseason expectations aren’t that high next year. With a revamped linebacking corps, no Odrick, and a new QB, people aren’t going to be complaining about 9-3 (aside from the usual delusional people who want 11-1 every other year). There is currently no pressure on Paterno from the AD or from the fans.
You should probably watch Iowa instead.
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2009 9:18 AM CST up reply actions
I think 9-3 would be one of his best coaching jobs
"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz
Perhaps
I’m betting Iowa, OSU, and Bama are all top 10 at the end of next season. They may lose one somewhere along the way, but there won’t be a lot of angst if we beat Michigan again and go to Orlando again.
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2009 10:35 AM CST up reply actions
What if you lose those three
and to Michigan, Northwestern or Michigan State and maybe two of those teams.
You’re losing quite a bit of personnel, no? You’re losing your QB and RB, two O-linemen, both TEs, two WRs, two DTs, your stud DT, your entire LB group, and a corner.
That’s seems like a lot. And it looks like 7 seniors are in back-up roles.
"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz
Firstly, I’d be mildly surprised if Royster goes. He’s not very high on anyone’s draft boards and he’s not really an NFL back anyway.
I’m not an expert on line play, but I expect them to be mildly better. Too early to tell for me.
I’m not worried about tight ends. Andrew Sczerba (that’s not how you spell it, and I don’t care to find out how you spell it) is supposed to be the next good one, and we’ve signed one or two highly ranked tight ends in recent classes.
What receivers do we lose? I think maybe Brackett and he’s nowhere to be found this year. Moye, Zug, Powell, and two highly recruited players in Curtis Drake (who has looked solid in action this season) and Justin Brown all return.
If Ogbu returns, we’ll only lose one starting DT. Granted, Odrick is a huge loss that can’t be understated, but the defensive line won’t be decidedly worse, I think. We have young defensive ends in Sean Stanley, Eric Lattimore, and Jack Crawford; each have tons of potential. And Larry Johnson Sr. is the best recruiter and the best position coach on the staff and spits out NFL defensive linemen like a whale.
Linebackers? Yeah, I’m not gonna try to paint a pretty picture here. Stupar and Mauti are talented, but the inexperience will be a big issue for the first few weeks, at best. That group really needs Ogbu to return.
We lose A.J. Wallace at corner. This is not a big loss. D’Anton Lynn is a sophomore and Stephon Morris is a freshman. They’ve both outplayed Wallace this year. Morris in particular has people excited since he looks like the best corner we’ve had since Alan Zemaitis.
A mostly young team. Northwestern is always a challenge and Michigan State will still have Pat Narduzzi. It’s waaaay too early for me to really evaluate the whole group.
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2009 2:02 PM CST up reply actions
I just looked at a list of your starters and went by class year.
So it appears you have a number of seniors who redshirted along the way and will return. Cool. That list above seemd like a nightmare to me.
"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz
Um...
Larry Johnson Sr. is the best recruiter and the best position coach on the staff and spits out NFL defensive linemen like a whale.
Whales do that?
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Yes
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2009 7:16 PM CST up reply actions
Larry Johnson, Jr...
slaps women like a whale slaps water with its giant tail.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 1, 2009 10:54 PM CST up reply actions
And then spits in their face like water from a blow-hole!
Zing!
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
This would be so funny...
if it weren’t absolutely true.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 1, 2009 11:19 PM CST up reply actions
All I want to see...
Is for Kirk Ferentz to have the most wins over JoePa. He’s fairly close to Lloyd Carr’s record. All I want out of JoePa is two to three more games against Iowa.
The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it. Bill Nye (yeah, the science guy)
Kirk
is trailing Lloyd 9-7. Getting to 8 should be doable next year, but it will be a tough one in ’11 with all of the losses on both sides of the ball.
http://www.rivalryesq.com/
The quintessential Big Ten smoking room.
If you beat us in 2011, you will own us more than Michigan ever did
Michigan never beat us when we were clearly, by far (this rules out 2005, with Henne, Hart, Breaston, etc), more talented and when the game was in Beaver Stadium.
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2009 9:30 AM CST up reply actions
That's my point
Oooh, they beat us in 2000 and 2001. And this is totally relevant.
Argh
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2009 9:40 AM CST up reply actions
Can we say, with any confidence at all, how talented either team will be in 2011?
That’s pretty far off. Who knows how draft defections, injuries, and the standard off-field attrition issues will affect the make-up of both teams until then?
Paterno has a secret alliance with the Mayans
No, that’s 2012.
Screw it.
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2009 10:36 AM CST up reply actions
So was he in cahoots with Pizarro in taking out the Incas instead??
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Dec 1, 2009 10:50 AM CST up reply actions
Absolutely not
Pizarro was a filthy Spaniard
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2009 10:55 AM CST up reply actions
Ha Ha
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Dec 1, 2009 11:26 AM CST up reply actions
If one of the quarterbacks pans out.
Definitely a rebuilding 8-4/9-3 season next year, but 2011 is the point where all of PSU’s great sophomores will be seniors and arguably our best recruiting classes in PSU history will be sophomores. PSU gets Alabama, Wisconsin, Ohio State, Iowa, and Purdue at home, and a presumably resurgent Michigan rotates off the schedule.
It looks good on paper, no doubt.
I remember Iowa fans dreaming of big things about the 2005 recruiting class, too. You just never know how things will play out.
Exactly.
You never know. We never thought we would have the down years we had in the early noughts. We also never thought we’d be 1 second from undefeated in 2005.
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
I think
That a lot of PSU fans are hoping for a MNC push in 2011/2012. We will be chock full of talent, even if you throw in a couple transfers or whatever. That also falls in line with our traditional “great” team every 3-4 years m/o.
We know that things rarely pan out how they are expected to, but 2011-2012 look to be promising years for us. I think it heavily relies on at least 1 of 3 highly touted QBs panning out.
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
No
They’re all black guys.
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2009 12:15 PM CST up reply actions
It was a typo
He meant: No, they’re all smart guys.
"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69
No.
They’re all black guys.
Morelli was smart enough to bag marry his current wife…
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2009 6:07 PM CST up reply actions
I would sure as hell hope not.
Possibly a Pat Devlin though.
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
As with ALL college football teams
it will come down to your QB play. That cost you a potentially great season this year. You had it all lined up and lost twice at home with a very experienced QB. No team can outperform poor QB play over the course of a season.
"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz
I don't know...
Without getting injured, Manzi was sure as hell trying.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Dec 1, 2009 1:44 PM CST up reply actions
Stanzi is kind of like
Joe Namath….Namath was known for throwing remarkably dumb interceptions but the guys loved playing with him. Bottom line, Stanzi is a winner and often outperforms the other QB (unless it is a lesser team, then their QB makes us look stupid — See Pat Grace, Ark St. guy, etc.)
"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz
We lost this year because our offensive line play was poor. Clark is basically an average to above-average college QB: he performs well when he doesn’t have Adrian Clayborn or Cam Heyward in his face. Clark’s only true poor performance this year was against Iowa. He melted down in that game. But the loss was not at all his fault only.
Against Ohio State, he played as well as he could with no time to throw. On the first play of the game, he avoided one sack, then got stuffed. That sums up the entire game.
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2009 2:05 PM CST up reply actions
You are mostly correct.
And as previously discussed, stud recruits, especially QBs can bust at the drop of a hat (ahem Morelli). I just feel like at PSU we have never had 3 top notch QBs at the same time, so there is a far better likelihood that at least 1 of the 3 will end up playing very well. We just have a better shot because all of our eggs are not in one basket. Not a slam dunk by any means, but I like the odds much better.
Also, Daryll Clark did not cost PSU this season. See Rambler above.
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
No, Clark did not cost you the season...
he arguably cost you the Iowa game. And that game arguably cost you the season. I can see other saying the Ohio State game cost you the season and maybe both were equal in the end.
Losing Stanzi arguably cost us a special, special season too. QB’s are important motherfuckers. Very important. And when you don’t win you owe it to yourself to look there first. If you are going to do well next year you have to find a QB.
I predicted that Michigan State was incredibly overrated this year because they were starting a redshirt freshman QB who had one half of football under his belt. Sure enough, their QB shuffle early on killed that team. You may find that your QB next year is a superstar that just needed a chance to show his stuff. But, odds are, he will struggle like crazy, cost you at least one game due to poor play and allow teams to hang around that should not. Just look at Stanzi’s first six games for Iowa. Ouch. Unless you are Ohio State and have so much fucking talent you can play mediocre at QB and still win football games…
"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz
"arguably" in "cost you the Iowa game" is very much an understatement
Afterall, I don’t blame Royster’s devastating fumble on Clark. I don’t blame Zug being shut down on Clark. Iowa was better than us. Clark played very poorly, but he was one of many who didn’t play well. For example: he couldn’t even get out of the pocket on rollouts against Iowa or OSU because Quarless couldn’t set the edge without getting called for holding.
I very much agree with you about Kevin Newsome (presumable starter, unless our incoming 4 star guys look awesome), though. I don’t expect much of a passing game next year.
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2009 4:49 PM CST up reply actions
Hey
I ran the triple option with Newsome, Royster and Green and it worked out wonderfully in NCAA10. Newsome is adequate enough of a passer to have the threat there.
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
Very true.
Beachum would be a great flexbone fullback.
"I don't know. I don't know. [waves hand dismissively] First, you'd have to tell me what a 'BCS' is. I don't know."
by ReadingRambler on Dec 1, 2009 7:17 PM CST up reply actions
good post
i now have the closure necessary for me to move on from the paterno/bowden competition.
i thought this day would never come. but here we are.
Eat what the monkey eats, then eat the monkey. -U.S. Navy survival guidance
Maybe it's true...
Although blood of a failed 5 star recruit seems like it may be more viable.
/O'keefe'd
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Dec 1, 2009 10:22 AM CST reply actions
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