FanPost

The End of an Era.

I should preface this by saying I probably don't really want KOK fired, and certainly not until the end of the season (if I was serious). On the other hand, I'm still bummed and pissed

Associated Press - November 8, 2009

Iowa City, IA - In a very uncharacteristic action today, University of Iowa head football coach Kirk Ferentz dismissed longtime offensive coordinator Ken O'Keefe late Sunday afternoon. O' Keefe had been an assistant coach on the Iowa staff for all 11 seasons that Ferentz was head coach at Iowa. The dismissal comes a day after the undefeated Iowa Hawkeyes lost to Northwestern by a score of 17 to 10.

When asked to explain the sudden firing of O'Keefe, Ferentz said "It wasn't a sexy move, I can assure you. I hoped it would just stay under the radar, like everything we do as Iowa Hawkeyes."

O'Keefe was reached for comment as he was loading his personal possessions into the trunk of his fuchsia Toyota Tercel. O'Keefe said angrily "Erb and Stanzi have been calling plays ever since the Illinois game, anyway. I don't know why I got the axe."

At that point, a reporter pointed out that Illinois was not on the Hawkeyes' schedule this year. O'Keefe responded "I meant last year's Illinois game, jackass. I wonder if Fordham needs any assistant coaches? Oh God!!?" O'Keefe proceeded to break down into tears and slumped against the pinkish-purple vehicle.

The Hawkeye coaching staff had earned a reputation for stability, according to several sources. Pat Harty, a longtime observer of Iowa football as a writer for the Iowa City Press-Citizen, noted "O'Keefe had been there for quite awhile. I think he has been dodging my telephone calls for at least 9 of his 11 seasons." When asked if he had ever gotten e-mail responses from O'Keefe, Harty answered with onion breath "What's an e-mail?"

Another Iowa assistant coach, defensive coordinator Norm Parker, was sad to see O'Keefe go. "He was a big reason our defense had become so good the last few years," said Parker. Puzzled reporters asked what an offensive coach could have done to help a defensive unit that has become one of the nation's best. Parker replied "Well, his offensive teams gave our defensive teams a ton of confidence during practices, and I believe that the repeated game experience that he forced our defense to obtain has made it strong and tough."

Many coaches reacted with shock throughout the Big Ten Conference. Illinois head coach Ron Zook was heard to say "O'Keefe was fired? Really? Do you have his phone number? Never mind, I'll just text him when I get home from the bars."

Minnesota head coach Tim Brewster excitedly said "The Big Ten will miss GO FIGHT GOPHER EXCEL Ken!!!!!! He was a great asset to this conference FIGHT TRY GOOD BYE!!!!"

Wisconsin head coach Bret Bielema told reporters "That is a shock. I was sure I would be the first Iowa assistant fired this year. I wish Ken the best."

Penn State head coach Joe Paterno said "If I didn't already have my own longtime offensive coordinator in Galen Hall, and if it I didn't suspect that O'Keefe's veins carried the Spaniard's filthy blood, I would tell Ken to COME TO PENN SCHTAAAATE!! Mr. Paterno will be fine, thank you very much. "

Ferentz said that a new offensive coordinator would be named "in due time." When asked for a specific timeline, Ferentz replied "in the next 7 to 9 months. As you may know, we take time to do things right here at Iowa, make sure our ducks are in a row, so-to-speek. We have the rest of this season to focus on, and then recruiting. So after that will probably be when I will conduct interviews."

Bob Brooks, longtime Iowa announcer-turned reporter, slowly and shakily asked Ferentz "Whooooo willllll beeeeee your maaaaain targets forrrrrr the job?"

Ferentz responded "We'll probably just give the job to (offensive line coach Reese) Morgan. If he doesn't want it, maybe (Receivers coach Eric) Campbell, or Chick Ejiasi."

Immediately after that, Iowa athletic director Gary Barta whispered something in Ferentz's ear. Ferentz then said "I must correct myself. I have been told there will be a national search. I guess Gary (Barta) has a petition that asks for one, and he's real big on petitions, so..."

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