How many BHGP chicks are out there?

by Chuck Long Duk Dong on Nov 20, 2009 4:58 PM CST Comment 48 comments

I know Ioweegin is female based on her recent post about losing the worst Trivial Pursuit game in history. I feared I was the only chick in this community, and I am not ashamed to say that I'm utterly obsessed. Anyone other females out there skulking? Girls who love football are awesome, as long as they are not on the sidelines holding a microphone and chasing after Kirk in designer pumps with cracked lipstick and clumping mascara. That's just embarrassing and stupid. It makes me long for days of yore when televisions were not HD for us to see every single gaping pore on a person's face. Well, that's a tangent I did not mean to unravel. I digress. Should I delete this? Ah, fuck it.

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This really has nothing to do with your post itself, since I am penis-enabled

But I saw this as the new fanpost:

How many BHGP chicks are out there?
by Chuck Long Duk Dong 5 minutes ago

And thought it had something to do with chicks with dongs. I suffer from selective dyslexia, what can I say?

by Twin Cities Hawk on Nov 20, 2009 5:07 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Checking in.

I have occupational turrettes... My job makes me swear uncontrolably at everyone.

by Ioweegin on Nov 20, 2009 5:08 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Woah woah, girls? On the internet? Come on now.

by NorseHawk on Nov 20, 2009 5:13 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Answer: 1.

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Nov 20, 2009 5:49 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

There used to be a dmbmeg....

I fear she got lost in Minnesota somewhere.

by Argulor on Nov 20, 2009 6:17 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

I swear I saw her comment the other day

but it was in a basketball thread. I prefer not to believe in anything basketball related right now.

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Nov 20, 2009 6:21 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Pretty sure she got scared away

It got really fucking creepy around here for awhile once her picture got posted during the first March Madness deal.

by NorseHawk on Nov 20, 2009 6:35 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

100% positive

I saw her check in with a comment on some random game thread or post-game thread within the last couple of months.

by Ed Podolak of Good Judgement on Nov 20, 2009 7:15 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I can confirm

Something to do with “Twlight” novels.

UNACCEPTABLE!

by ReadingRambler on Nov 20, 2009 7:50 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

You say that

like there’s something wrong with it? If loving Robert Pattison and emo vampires is wrong, then I don’t ever want to be right.

/guaranteed celibacy.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Nov 22, 2009 1:20 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I was about to go on a second date with a guy when I found out he went to the New Moon midnight showing… and enjoyed it.

Needless to say, the second date did not happen. And I had to suppress the urge to ask him if he was “Team Jacob” or “Team Edward”.

by rinseandrepeat on Nov 22, 2009 1:28 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

P.S.

This is not the ONLY reason date numero dos did not take place, but it was certainly the nail in the coffin.

by rinseandrepeat on Nov 22, 2009 1:28 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

So you're saying

that moody paleness is NOT a turn-on? I’m so (not) fucked.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Nov 22, 2009 1:41 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Especially not

moody paleness at midnight. Nighttime is no time for being a whiny baby.

by rinseandrepeat on Nov 22, 2009 1:50 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Damn

looks like I’m bringing nothing to the game in that case.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Nov 22, 2009 2:58 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

One right here!

And I have to say, I am obsessed with BHGP.

by rinseandrepeat on Nov 20, 2009 6:25 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Add tiggerhawk to the ladies list...

Although by my level of swearing, some may say I’m not a lady.

by tiggerhawk on Nov 20, 2009 6:42 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

I would not have guessed that.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Nov 21, 2009 10:36 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

You would not have guessed I’m a girly? The Tigger is from my days of bus driving when there were 4+ of us with the same first name. I had a Tigger hat and a Tiggery personality, so it stuck.

by tiggerhawk on Nov 23, 2009 4:58 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Go Figure

Only at Iowa could a female with the handle “Tigger” make one of the better mechanics of her day. (It wasn’t flawless, though – I recall a story where she got her hair caught in the wheels of a creeper while working under a bus.)

"Oh no, don't do that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad." - The Waco Kid

by HawkOnRails on Nov 23, 2009 6:43 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Squirrel master...

That’s nothing compared to the 50,000 times you passed out from one injury or another!

by tiggerhawk on Nov 23, 2009 9:06 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Thumbs Up!

Touché, well played. ;-)

"Oh no, don't do that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad." - The Waco Kid

by HawkOnRails on Nov 23, 2009 9:08 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I'm actually surprised...

That Chuck Long Duk Dong is the handle for a girl. I combines Hawkeye football with one of my favorite movies – impressive.

by tiggerhawk on Nov 23, 2009 5:00 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I have a semi-secure feminine side which I have to admit that I'm very much in touch with...

particularlly right after iowa loses. But I’m probably technically still classified as a cock.*

I thought “chick” had gone the way of gnarly, rad and totally. But what do I know.

"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz

by StoopsMyAss on Nov 20, 2009 6:59 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Nope, it's still groovy.

Which is to say, it’s still bitchin’.

by Bucketochicken on Nov 20, 2009 7:22 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Cue

the South Carolina jokes

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Nov 20, 2009 8:02 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Word.

Well, that’s three more chicks than I thought were out there. And yes, I’m bringing back “chick” along with hoochie, beyatch, and poon-tang. Bring it.

by Chuck Long Duk Dong on Nov 20, 2009 8:42 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

You are not bringing back...

“poon-tang.” I use that word every day, although not online.

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Nov 21, 2009 10:38 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

uhhhhhhhh

Knew a girl that did Chuch back in school, she said it wasn’t very long, but it was sure skinny.
ya might want to change your name because of what she said to “Chuck Long Not Much Dong”
sorry i had to to this lmao

by 83ha on Nov 28, 2009 12:50 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Do I count as a chick if I wear my girlfriend's shoes when she's not home?

I’m trying to get her fat enough that I can fit into her underwear.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Nov 20, 2009 8:59 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

I had to stifle my laughter

Don’t want to wake up my GF. That’s one of the funniest things you’ve posted online that I’ve read.

Why make a trillion when we could make... billions? ~ Dr. Evil

by Leftcoast Hawk on Nov 21, 2009 2:07 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Female football fanatic here!

I started coming for the Joepa chronicles and kept showing up because this blog is so damned funny. I check it nearly every day, after BSD. I rarely comment but I love this blog and read it all year long.

by lmrlion on Nov 20, 2009 9:25 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

I love PSU fans :D

Why make a trillion when we could make... billions? ~ Dr. Evil

by Leftcoast Hawk on Nov 21, 2009 2:08 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

You look

awfully young

by Duez I say on Nov 21, 2009 10:47 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Football is not for vagitarians.

by fivewords on Nov 20, 2009 10:13 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Vagitarians...

…doesn’t that refer to someone who consumes the vag?

by rinseandrepeat on Nov 20, 2009 10:18 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Do you mean

Vagitarius? like the zodiac?

by tiggerhawk on Nov 23, 2009 4:59 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Neither is bungee swinging.

Link, if it’s not already obvious.

"Oh no, don't do that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad." - The Waco Kid

by HawkOnRails on Nov 23, 2009 6:56 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Eep.

Ow! My ~~nose~~ va-jay-jay!

The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it. Bill Nye (yeah, the science guy)

by tiggerhawk on Nov 23, 2009 9:30 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Okay...

now I am wondering if there are any dudes out there! This is like the ultimate double reverse fake out by Chuck Long Duk Dong. I see what is going on with ALL OF YOU!!!

Brilliant sir…er, ma’am.

"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz

by StoopsMyAss on Nov 20, 2009 10:48 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Can't beat the plunger to the face

And fuck it’s early.

by Imustbreakyou on Nov 21, 2009 5:54 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I'm a dude.

And I am saying (with the Joey Trebiani voice) to all the ladies out there:

“How you doin’?”

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Nov 21, 2009 10:39 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Add me to the list.

I don’t post here very often but I read it every day.

OK I don't know shit about basketball.

by SoulEater7 on Nov. 5, 2009 9:51 PM CST

by sue369 on Nov 21, 2009 10:28 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

Is this BHGP or GLTG?

by fivewords on Nov 23, 2009 12:57 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Success!

When we created this site, one of our first rules of business was to eliminate sexism and gratuitous titty shots, in hopes that we’d have a community where women would feel comfortable to hang out without being objectified.
I’m so glad it’s resulted in 4 female commenters.

Perhaps my best years are gone. When there was a chance of happiness. But I wouldn't want them back. Not with the fire in me now. No, I wouldn't want them back.

by jebushchrist on Nov 24, 2009 8:36 PM CST reply actions 0 recs