The Ten Coolest Things About Minnesota

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 19, 2009 12:13 AM CST in Football Comment 64 comments

I know it's Hate Week and all, but in the name of good sportsmanship I think it's only fair that we also point out some of the good things about our northern neighbors.

Therefore I have compiled a list of the top ten coolest things about Minnesota:

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I see what you did there.

by icculus on Nov 19, 2009 12:24 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

ba-dum ching

I’ll be here all week, folks

No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 19, 2009 12:39 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Minimalism is my favorite -ism

by RossWB on Nov 19, 2009 1:24 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

Not even a lutefisk joke?

by Brock Sampson on Nov 19, 2009 2:30 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

Ugh

Perhaps the worst part of attending Luther is that, at some point, being around that many Norwegians makes you think things like “you know, I should really at least try lutefisk. Just once”

No. You should not.

by NorseHawk on Nov 19, 2009 9:59 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Insulting Norwegians

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Nov 19, 2009 10:16 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

WHAT?

dont act like you never rocked the lutefisk/lefse norwegian taco at peace brunch…. i lost a lot of bets in college…..

by Gustav on Nov 19, 2009 10:42 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

The Luther College Norwegian thing is, unfortunately...

…..lame. Lame as hell. It’s all too cutesy and winky-winky and Sven & Oly jokey and awful. I loved going there, sure as shit, but the Norwegian stuff got old very quickly.

Especially Norwegian literature. It’s like reading a novel about the inside of your freezer, if the inside of your freezer is filled with cattle and hymns.

If it's not too much trouble, search your soul--and then ask yourself if maybe I might have a point.

by The Director on Nov 19, 2009 11:16 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I was always too hung over to be up in time for Peace Brunch

I’ve heard it was very nice.

by NorseHawk on Nov 19, 2009 12:20 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I grew up in Decorah

And won’t go near the stuff. It is not in the least bit tempting. You cave to easily to peer pressure, NorseHawk.

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Nov 19, 2009 11:51 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Oricinally from New Hampton here.

And spent alot of time in Calmar, Spillville, and Decorah. I never once felt the need to try it.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Nov 19, 2009 12:02 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

spelling fail

Originally

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Nov 19, 2009 12:02 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

My family hails originally from Silver Lake

and I must say, for every terrible bite of lutefisk, there is a wonderful tasty bite of kringla.

/O'keefe'd

by Smokin Herb Grigbsy on Nov 19, 2009 12:32 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I'm from Postville...

Yes, the town is still there…I’ve had alot of fish up there, but never any Norwegian fish..had a hell of a good taco place though!

by Put Down the Haterade on Nov 20, 2009 8:23 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

You forgot this (below)

"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz

by StoopsMyAss on Nov 19, 2009 6:16 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

Don't even go that low...

that guy having a high profile journalist job is absolutely horrifying.

/O'keefe'd

by Smokin Herb Grigbsy on Nov 19, 2009 12:33 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Why do we get a new article every day?

Is anyone actually reading these?

It's not that I'm lazy, Bob, it's that I just don't care

by Colteyes on Nov 19, 2009 6:25 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

No.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Nov 19, 2009 7:15 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Somewhat ironic I guess

Because when I think of useless white space I usually think of Iowa basketball players.

by the accomplice on Nov 19, 2009 7:42 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

Ouch.

by CapitalHawk on Nov 19, 2009 7:45 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Are you trying

to say something about snow?

by alnamiasIV on Nov 19, 2009 7:59 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

Couldn't have said it better myself.

"Oh no, don't do that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad." - The Waco Kid

by HawkOnRails on Nov 19, 2009 8:28 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

I'm on my back,

on the old metrodome turf, looking up

by ChryslerKinnick on Nov 19, 2009 8:50 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

Clearly you couldn’t be doing that, since the roof is so dirty and dingy from the Gophers stinking that place up for 20+ years.

They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!

by recoveringfratguy on Nov 19, 2009 8:54 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Let me help fill in #1 for you:

Jessica Biel.

Oh yeah, a couple others: “Precious” Paul Ellering, Diablo Cody, Bob Dylan, Ric and David Fleihr, Verne Gagne, Larry “The Axe” Hennig and Mr. Perfect, Phil Housley, Walter Mondale, Harry Blackmun, Nikita Koloff, Greg LeMond, Prince, Charles Lindbergh, Audra Lynn (for you Playboy fans), Roger Maris, Frank Mars (who created the Milky Way candy bar), Billy Martin, the Mayo family, Ahmad Rashad, and, of course, Baron Von Raschke.

I’m happy to help.

by JG2112 on Nov 19, 2009 9:39 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

But Bob Dylan begat Jacob Dylan

And other than three songs from 15 years ago that didn’t work out so well…let’s call that one a wash shall we?

Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart

Follow me on Twitter: @MattLaCasse

by MissouriHawk on Nov 19, 2009 9:50 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

If only my state berthed Verne Gagne and Walter Mondale.

sigh

by Cairo on Nov 19, 2009 9:57 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Ahmad Rashad, really?

He’s famous for marrying Mrs. Cosby and sucking up to Michael Jordan a whole bunch.

Also Ric Flair is from North Carolina. He mentions this pretty often.

by NorseHawk on Nov 19, 2009 10:01 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Ric Flair moved to Carolina after he began his wrestling career. He grew up in Minnesota (there are questions as to whether he was born here), and attended the U of MN on a football scholarship. He went to either Edina or Eden Prairie High School.

by JG2112 on Nov 19, 2009 11:17 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

No love for Sinclair Lewis?

He is right up there with anyone on your list, except maybe for the Claw Master who obviously stands head and shoulders above.

by Brock Sampson on Nov 19, 2009 10:03 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Wow

Would you believe that “V” is based on one of his books? I had no idea until today.

by Brock Sampson on Nov 19, 2009 10:15 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I thought "V" was based on the book "V".

The one by Thomas Pynchon. Who is not from Minnesota.

by Abbas_Cincinnatus on Nov 19, 2009 11:43 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I thought it was an adaptation of the V Dialogues.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Nov 19, 2009 7:16 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

F. Scott Fitzgerald, too.

And don’t forget Judy Garland and Kelly Carlson (Kimber from Nip/Tuck). Mmmmmmm….

"If we got to we're going to crawl in this locker room. And on our back is going to be an axe..."

by buddylee853 on Nov 19, 2009 10:58 AM CST via mobile up reply actions 0 recs

Sinclair Lewis

and Fitzgerald are fine Minnesotans as well.

However, I only had time for the incredibly awesome important ones, so the hot babes, Playboy models, judges, and wrestlers took priority.

by JG2112 on Nov 19, 2009 11:18 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Dudes

LeMond may live in MN but he’s no Minnesotan.

by ChompSmirkWIN on Nov 19, 2009 10:51 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Diablo Cody?

Ugh, that’s fucking impressive.

No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 19, 2009 11:51 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Fuck that. She's from Illinois.

If living in a place counts, then Iowa City could claim her, too.

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Nov 19, 2009 11:53 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

She's awful and I'd rather we didn't

by NorseHawk on Nov 19, 2009 12:21 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

So could Cedar Rapids...

She danced at Woody’s….

/O'keefe'd

by Smokin Herb Grigbsy on Nov 19, 2009 12:34 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

I thought that smell was Quaker Oats

No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Nov 19, 2009 12:58 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

+1

"Oh no, don't do that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad." - The Waco Kid

by HawkOnRails on Nov 19, 2009 6:26 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

Lame, but

A coed was making out with a UI frat boy, and, it was getting pretty frisky.

“Timmy” she breathed in his ear, “Kiss me where it smells.”

So, he drove her to Cedar Rapids.

Why make a trillion when we could make... billions? ~ Dr. Evil

by Leftcoast Hawk on Nov 19, 2009 10:29 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs

So I thought to myself

Over the last 25 years, has it been better to be a Hawkeye fan or a Gopher fan? Since anybody not raised in the brain fart addled wasteland to the north, and most of those who were, would rather suck peanuts from a dead monkey’s ass than root for the Gophers, I decided I should rephrase the question to make it fair.

In the last 25 years, if you based your happiness solely on how many times each team won or lost in a given season, which team would bring you greater joy.

As the chart below shows, from 2008 – 1984 Iowa has had the better season 18 times. Minnesota 4 times, and there were 3 ties.

Just a little more proof that the corn in Iowa leans north because Minnesota sucks.

In 100 years, we'll all be dead.

by Flakbait on Nov 19, 2009 10:47 AM CST reply actions 1 recs

You made a chart?

Now that’s hate.

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on Nov 19, 2009 11:33 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

10) Clem Haskins
9)
8)
7)
6) Herb Brooks
5)
4)
3)
2)
1) Marge Gunderson

DO YOU HAVE PRIDE, DANNY?

by ReadingRambler on Nov 19, 2009 11:25 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

Marge Gunderson

The heroine of a movie, 99% of which takes place in Brainerd, Minneapolis or the highway in between them, that is named after a city in North Dakota. Why? Because the Coen brothers know Minnesota is too lame to draw a crowd.

Great movie though. Minnesotans tend to not like it. Oh well, truth hurts.

In 100 years, we'll all be dead.

by Flakbait on Nov 19, 2009 11:31 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs