The Moustache Project Begins

Hello, folks, OPS here. As a strong proponent of moustaches as an indicator of virility, I've often wondered why the ol' whiskey strainer has worked its way out of American culture over recent years. After all, it's a fixture on the greatest swimmer of his generation, the two best baseball players of our generation (check that, three best), the finest football player of the Super Bowl era, the finest coach of the Super Bowl era, and the best US President of all time (no, no biases here). There is no better mark of greatness. And it must come back to the Iowa basketball team. Fortunately, we're here to help.

Obviously, we can't give moustaches to the entire Iowa basketball team straight away today. That would be a most labor-intensive project, and it'd leave us with nothing to do for the regular season. Clearly, this'll be a season-long feature; after all, this is The Moustache Project, not The Moustache Instance. We've got a long way to go.

All the same, we must start at the top, with the coach--and the youngin' who spent many a night at the same dinner table.

YAWWWWN.

That's coach Todd Lickliter and son John Lickliter. Regardless of your opinion of Lickliter's job at the helm of the team thus far, you must surely concede that both father and son must relish this unique opportunity; even if John never sees a single minute of court time, he gets to spend four years next to his father on the bench, watching first-hand as he coaches a major college basketball team. That's got to kick major ass.

All the same, this is the Moustache Project, and there's something disturbingly clean about both of these men's appearances. That needs to be remedied.

At first, we were thinking something like an Errol Flynn Sharpie for the youthful Li'l Lick while his dad went Dignified Belvedere, but you know what? John is clearly his father's son, so if they're going all in, they're doing it together. Thus, we've given them El Full Mexican, after the break.

BONANZA!

Beyonce, your thoughts?

Yeah, 'swhat I thought.

You know what makes this picture great? Not only does the 'brero totally the coach's tie, but it also obscures the fact that he's trying not to smile in the picture. Don't worry, Lickliter; no matter how silly you think this photo op might be, rest assured that you look hard as hell with a Mexistache.

Rest assured, more well-placed and ill-conceived moustaches throughout the year. For example, did you know that Matt Gatens is one Hulk Stache away from being Larry Bird? Oh, it'll happen; we're gonna make it happen.

Terrorist fist jab: Nunes for the Beyonce Upgrade pic