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There's A Tailgate on Saturday? Yes, There Is

Right then, homecoming. It's also BHGPcoming, because our first annual Black Heart Gold Ptailgate is upon us as of tomorrow.

We tried getting donor lot passes, but those quickly became unfeasible; this site doesn't make that much money, people. So we're going to the Myrtle Lot, planning on getting there around 9-10 a.m. Yes, we know you're all superstuds who wake up at 5, pound a handle of Captain for breakfast, then go the tailgate and fuck every coed in sight. We're sticking with 9-10.

Bhgptg_medium
[UPDATE: A handy map from Anonymous Hero, whose name we applaud.]

Here's what to look for:

Cars: Gray Honda sedan and green Tacoma pickup. Maybe a yellow Aveo too if we're lucky.

HS: A tall guy in a STANZI IS THE MANZI shirt.

OPS: A chubby guy with a Civil War moustache and an Iowa jersey with a retired number

HFMR: Not in attendance but he's a dead ringer for Wayne Newton (no he is not)

Refreshments: We're bringing plenty of beer, but sheer logistics dictates that we wouldn't be able to get everybody drunk even if we got a keg. Tragically, we are not allowed to do that--we checked. Also,

Food, meanwhile, is essential to maintaining the strength of a tailgate--especially one that lasts longer than 11 a.m. We're bringing pizza and chips, and those who want to bring their own are welcome to do just that. It's a celebration, bitches.

As for behavior, we're happy with the type of conduct that typifies our comment threads, and we expect everyone to get good and drunk when

Iconbarta_medium WHOA WHOA WHOA THERE BUCKAROO

Iconbhgp_medium ...Gary Barta?

Iconbarta_medium BLOODPUNCH BARTA GMX MUTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Bartathuglife_medium
GMX SAYS RIDE! OR! DIE!

Iconbarta_medium WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS TAILGATING BEHAVIOR

Iconbhgp_medium Oh, yes, you expect us to not drink to excess on account of the other fans who don't do that

Iconbarta_medium CORRECT

Iconbarta_medium BESIDES, ALCOHOL IS FOR PUSSIES

Iconbarta_medium I GOT SOME STUFF

Iconbhgp_medium Uh-oh.

Star-divide

Iconbhgp_medium What, um, what would you rather we do instead of drink beers, Mr. Barta?

Iconbarta_medium I DEMAND WE REPRESENT OUR UNIVERSITY PROPERLY

Iconbarta_medium SO I WANT EVERYONE TO BRING A KILO OF COCAINE AND A LIVE BENGAL TIGER TO THE GAME

Iconbhgp_medium Wait, what? Okay, first of all, that's way too much cocaine for one person to use

Iconbarta_medium SOME OF THAT IS FOR THE TIGER

Iconbarta_medium OBVIOUSLY

Iconbhgp_medium And then the seats are pretty cramped as it is. There's not room for 70,000 dangerous animals!

Iconbarta_medium THEY CAN BE ON THE FIELD

Iconbhgp_medium You're the worst, Gary.

Iconbarta_medium EH, THIS IS JUST SO I DON'T HAVE STEPPING UP BREATHING DOWN MY NECK ABOUT DRINKING

Iconbhgp_medium Oh yeah. Stepping Up is pretty awful.

Iconbarta_medium SURE ARE

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Ptailgetting, errr, Ptailgating

If i wasn’t going out of town, I would be there with you guys, instead I will be with the I-Club members in Minneapolis/St. Paul area.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Oct 9, 2009 2:35 PM CDT reply actions  

I'll be hosting the Richmond, VA branch of the BHGPtailgate

If anyone wants to stop by. Not exactly expecting a huge turnout.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Oct 9, 2009 2:42 PM CDT reply actions  

the hawk nerd will be tailgatin too

be on the look out for a guy wearing a black hoodie with gold @iowahawkeyes. beer bongs are a must!

by hawknerd on Oct 9, 2009 2:44 PM CDT reply actions  

The important question

Will Ms. TigerHawkNipples be tailgating?

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Oct 9, 2009 2:50 PM CDT reply actions  

Oh I miss her so.

I wanted to change my screen name to Mr. TigerHawkNipples. Hell, I still do.

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Oct 9, 2009 3:20 PM CDT up reply actions  

I just now noticed

That’s in the backyard of my old house. Damn, how did I miss that?

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on Oct 9, 2009 3:43 PM CDT up reply actions  

Fuck. In Dallas, and out of luck. My wife has advised I’m joining her in going out to dinner with friends at 7:30. And she’s a double Iowa grad (BBA and Masters) to my single. Her priorities are not right. Still, I can’t decide if being away from the tv and computer for what will end up being much of the game is good karma or not, fearful of whatever bad juju I occasionally bring. DVR will be rolling but it’s not the same. Anywho, am envious of what sounds to be around 9-10 hours of preparatory drunking. Weather in IC should be what? Not like last night in Columbia, I’m guessing.

by txhawkeye on Oct 9, 2009 2:50 PM CDT reply actions  

So, so jealous...

I will toast you all ruefully when I crack open my Delirium Tremens.

Have a great time.

Still gonna be a liveblog?

by Bucketochicken on Oct 9, 2009 2:54 PM CDT reply actions  

DTs, nice call.

We’ll still have an opened thread, yes.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Oct 9, 2009 2:56 PM CDT up reply actions  

DT

Is excellent. But about three in the fruitiness does me in. Of course I’m half in the bag.

Iowa Basketball: We don't rebuild, we implode.

by three and out the kok story on Oct 9, 2009 3:12 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

Delirium Nocturnum

Is where its at. Really its like orange-shapes boobs versus apple-shaped boobs. They’re all good.

Columbus Hawkeye - Not letting his superlatives run away with him since 1983

by ColumbusHawkeye on Oct 10, 2009 6:13 PM CDT up reply actions  

Who the fuck schedules a wedding during football season?

Much less on the day of one of the biggest games of the year?

by NorseHawk on Oct 9, 2009 2:58 PM CDT up reply actions  

and why in gods name are you going to the wedding and not just watching the game at the reception bar?

by txhawkeye on Oct 9, 2009 3:03 PM CDT up reply actions  

I've got another damn wedding too.

That’s 3 wedding so far 6 weeks into the season. I’m starting to get annoyed. I’ve already called around and found a bar that’s playing the game within walking distance of the reception if the game is close in the second half though. I also went and bought a solid yellow tie last night (I know, why don’t I already have one). I’m rocking the all black with a yellow tie tomorrow. Might as well represent even in the formal setting.

Fuck tOSU

by ajs1122 on Oct 9, 2009 4:20 PM CDT up reply actions  

I too am in a wedding

However, the groom has been notified that come 7:11pm whatever events may be occurring I will not be a party to them.

And to answer the question, who schedules a game during football season: a UNI grand and an ISU grad, that’s who.

The follow up question: Why are you friends with these people? I cannot answer.

by Internet Legend on Oct 9, 2009 3:11 PM CDT up reply actions  

suck on the ike

Ahhhhhh! I hate chicago traffic.

Iowa Basketball: We don't rebuild, we implode.

by three and out the kok story on Oct 9, 2009 2:57 PM CDT via mobile reply actions  

OK

color me “supid”, but where in the hell is “Myrtle Lot”?

_ They took the bar! The whole fucking bar!-John Blutosky Animal House)

by John Hartlieb is stiil a stud! on Oct 9, 2009 2:59 PM CDT reply actions  

In front of the law school

There’s a path running through the wooded area right in front of the law school, walk through there and up and hill and you’ll be in the lot.

Alternatively, turn off Riverside at the corner with the Kum & Go and go up that giant hill. The lot will be to your right.

I have no idea if either of these directions make sense, but they’re the best I can do.

by NorseHawk on Oct 9, 2009 3:05 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'll be rolling into the IC right around 9,

With a handle of Svedka in tow. If I need to pick up the Kahlua and cream, be sure to let me know. I’m one of those non-beer drinking sissy types. Plus, it wouldn’t be an Iowa football Saturday if I weren’t drinking white russians.

by The Mexican't on Oct 9, 2009 3:03 PM CDT reply actions  

We're bringing the Kahlua and cream

Unless you are security, in which case no we are not.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Oct 9, 2009 3:16 PM CDT up reply actions  

Maybe security will be more ramped up for this one

But for the Arizona game I was left perfectly alone whilst smoking my cigar and drinking Jack and Coke.

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Oct 9, 2009 3:22 PM CDT up reply actions  

Selling stuff?

You guys have probably already thought about this, but just in case, it probably wouldn’t be the worst idea you’ve ever had to have some shirts to sell. I for one would partake in such an activity. See you guys tomorrow!

Hameed

by Hawkruqui on Oct 9, 2009 3:27 PM CDT reply actions  

Little late for that.

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Oct 9, 2009 3:40 PM CDT up reply actions  

I downed most of a bottle of Jameson before the Northwestern game last year and never heard a peep from those in Iowa’s Law Enforcement Community FWIW. That also came in handy because of the stab-my-eyes-out ending to that particular sporting contest.

As for who schedules weddings during football season…sadly…my fiance does. I’m getting hitched next weekend. She was inflexible on the month, but was open to the weekend. Needed a weekend where Mizzou and Iowa were either off or out of town. The 17th is the only such date this month.

So, in conclusion…

Fuck.

Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart

by MissouriHawk on Oct 9, 2009 3:30 PM CDT reply actions  

I got engaged in April, and the future mrs was sure we'd be married in September.

I laughed. Wedding was subsequently moved to June and I even convinced her that her colors should be black and yellow.

by The Mexican't on Oct 9, 2009 3:33 PM CDT up reply actions  

well played

I had an october wedding, and it was pretty non-negotiable. Of course the game we missed was that horrible loss at IU. So I should be thankful. And in her defense, last year for our anniversay I gave “us” second row tickets to the cubs playoff game and this year its a stay at the sheraton (keeping it class my friends) in ic.

Iowa Basketball: We don't rebuild, we implode.

by three and out the kok story on Oct 9, 2009 3:46 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

At least it's an early game...

Congrats Matt. It’s worth it!

Of course, I got married in August, so…

by Bucketochicken on Oct 9, 2009 4:07 PM CDT up reply actions  

Congrats Matt!

BTW, I got married in Key West in late January. So, stand back and admire my awesomeness.

by Bluzmn on Oct 10, 2009 7:20 AM CDT up reply actions  

You are far too awesome for me.

She is making up for it though. My birthday/wedding gift are tickets to the Iowa/Indiana game on Halloween (my birthday is on 11/1).

I’m slightly excited for that.

Is it wrong that I’m looking forward to next Sunday more than next Saturday. If I’d known how much stress this was going to cause I think we would have just gone to Vegas.

Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart

by MissouriHawk on Oct 10, 2009 8:49 AM CDT up reply actions  

Wedding planning

is fucking horrible. If you can stay together through that shit with nothing more than a few minor-ish battles and only a few quarts of tears, you’re good to go. We were totally ready for Wedding Elvis by the time we got down to that last six weeks or so.
The wedding itself, however, is really fucking fun and gives strong enough hindsight to make the craptacularness of planning it worth it.

by Bucketochicken on Oct 10, 2009 10:34 AM CDT up reply actions  

Here's hoping

you’re right. When your future bride is so stressed out she can’t really sleep at night, you are ready for the whole thing to be over and done with. I have no doubt that the wedding will be a blast. Going to get to see buddies I haven’t seen in years and getting married…plus (hopefully) a huge win over Wisky. Has the opportunity to be an epic kind of day.

Today would be super sweet as well if the Cardinals can manage to get swept and Iowa beats Michigan. I will be one happy camper.

Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart

by MissouriHawk on Oct 10, 2009 10:40 AM CDT up reply actions  

I will be there

Sporting my “Who’s the Manzi?!” shirt… Which is 5-0 btw….

by Wegher Please! on Oct 9, 2009 3:31 PM CDT via mobile reply actions  

Superstitions

I have game day boxers, jeans, doo rag, and shirt. I also have game-eve boxers and my friend eric that I call

by Duez I say on Oct 10, 2009 9:40 AM CDT up reply actions  

Love to be there

but I’ll be busy doing my one-man Iowa Hawkeyes London England fan club thing…

by CapitalHawk on Oct 9, 2009 3:55 PM CDT reply actions  

I think I'll stop by

I’d be the guy that looks more like a Sophomore in High School than one at Iowa in a Iowa hoodie and black City High jacket (and hopefully with a bottle of Svedka).

Luck is probability taken personally, clutch is probability attributed to individuals.

by shake n bake on Oct 9, 2009 6:07 PM CDT reply actions  

I'll probably be there...

around noon and stay for a couple beers. Would love to stay longer, but I have to many friends that decided to come into town this weekend that I haven’t seen forever. I will look more like a middle schooler, but be in some sort of black hawkeye stuff.

It's not that I'm lazy, Bob, it's just that I don't care

by Colteyes on Oct 9, 2009 6:17 PM CDT reply actions  

I should be there for awhile

Not sure how long yet, I also have some other tailgates I need to hit up before the day is over, but this is close enough to my place that it’ll be my first stop. I’ll be the heavy-set dude in the black hawkeye shirt, black fleece, and gold hat with the old school flying Herky logo.

by NorseHawk on Oct 9, 2009 6:29 PM CDT reply actions  

no blue??

i will have my luther rugby tee under my iowa hoodie. layers, my friend

by Gustav on Oct 9, 2009 6:53 PM CDT up reply actions  

Can't mess with Karma

This combo has severed me well so far this season, so I can’t mess things up by introducing blue to the mix. In my heart, it’ll be there though I do proudly rock a Luther cap or shirt at various times throughout the week, just not on game day.

by NorseHawk on Oct 9, 2009 7:04 PM CDT up reply actions  

touche

my only superstition is wearing the same beat up white j’s…..the last game i didnt wear them too was jNU last year…

by Gustav on Oct 9, 2009 7:17 PM CDT up reply actions  

Go Norse, brothers.

I’ve spent many a Saturday rocking dual pride. Layers indeed.

by Third Generation Hawk on Oct 9, 2009 10:50 PM CDT up reply actions  

Will there be TV's?

I have dick to do, but I hate trying to find a place to watch the game if I don’t have tickets. If there are some there, then I’m in. Wife is out of town, I have shit to do, sounds like fun.

by imadirtyoldman on Oct 9, 2009 7:30 PM CDT reply actions  

Might have to make a stop by this. I’ll be the super-hot stud.

I check cheddar like a food inspector

by SpanishJohnny on Oct 9, 2009 7:35 PM CDT reply actions  

I'll be there.

I’ll bring (a) Scothawk.

And when the machine breaks down, we break down.

by victorypolka on Oct 9, 2009 8:22 PM CDT reply actions  

WINNER!!!

Now, if only Scothawk could make a video montage of the tailgate…

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Oct 10, 2009 12:15 PM CDT up reply actions  

Wish I could be there...........

But instead, I will be holding the weekly meeting of the Hephzibah, Georgia Hawkeye Fan Club (HGHFC?) which, as of this moment, has exactly one-and-one-half members. My wife doesn’t care enough to count as a full member.

by Bluzmn on Oct 10, 2009 7:22 AM CDT reply actions  

Keep your head up.

You’ve gotta start somewhere.

Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart

by MissouriHawk on Oct 10, 2009 8:51 AM CDT up reply actions  

I'll probably stop by....

….but I, too, have another tailgate or two to attend at some point. Prob will be by in mid to late afternoon.

Looking at the posts, I’m wondering how many of us went to Luther College? Counting me, there’s three already. Interesting.

If I come, I will be the one wearing black, like Johnny Cash.

In case that’s not detailed enough, a black jacket with IOWA on the back. Mrs. Director will also be there, since she’s a huge Hawk fan. She’s a cute little strawberry blond, but then again, maybe I’m a bit biased.

If the other Luther guys are there, we can do the “L-U, L-U, L-U-T-H…..T-H, T-H, T-H-E-R…” etc. cheer together.

But only once, and quietly. After that it’s gotta be “I-O-W-A”.

If it's not too much trouble, search your soul--and then ask yourself if maybe I might have a point.

by The Director on Oct 10, 2009 9:21 AM CDT up reply actions  

Hell yes

I think there are four Luther grads in this thread, so that’s pretty cool. I seem to recall a couple others who regularly post here, but I can never keep track of the names here.

I swung through the lot a few minutes ago and couldn’t find the BHGPtailgate (did have a beer with some dude I hadn’t seen since high school though, that was cool). I’m about to head out to another place for awhile, but I’ll try to swing back through again this afternoon. Can’t promise that I won’t just get drunk and forget about it though, so if I don’t make it, hope all you fellas have a good time.

by NorseHawk on Oct 10, 2009 9:58 AM CDT up reply actions  

I'll represent the other side of the state...

Let’s Go Beavers!!

Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart

by MissouriHawk on Oct 10, 2009 10:40 AM CDT up reply actions  

There in spirit

I will be there in spirit but physically I’ll be on my sofa in Indy with a goblet of Chimay or Duvel in hand. Hopefully my sick child will ba asleep and my dining room will be painted. Otherwise, I’ll have to watch it via dvr.

And you can take that to the bank.

by Hawkeye X on Oct 10, 2009 9:37 AM CDT via mobile reply actions  

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