It's Not Plagiarism If You Link To It Is Running Stairs for Eternity

He Stole an "I'm With Stupid" Shirt that Pointed at Himself.  Joe Slaton, a senior wrestler and possible starter at 133 pounds next season (you'll have to ask RossWB just how likely that second part might be) was arrested Sunday morning for shoplifting from Paul's Discount in Iowa City.  For those of you not familiar with the area, Paul's Discount looks like a flea market and sells just about everything; it's basically Farm & Fleet with a more colorful sign.  I would say Slaton was caught grabbing a Carhartt jacket, but I always assumed he fashioned his clothing from the hides of other wrestlers he had killed in combat.

I can see the preliminary hearing now: The judge picks up the file, looks at Slaton, and asks, "Aren't you a wrestler for the university?"  Slaton responds in the affirmative.  The judge looks to the back of the courtroom and sees Tom Brands, teeth clinched, face red, eyes bulging from his head.  He wryly chuckles and gives Slaton a small fine, saying, "I can't do anything to top what Brands is going to do to you.  We have an Eighth Amendment to follow.  He doesn't."

Take it to the Rack, Big Fella!  I'm on record saying that there hasn't been a good basketball video game since the original NCAA Basketball on Super Nintendo.*  Basketball is an inherently difficult task for a game developer; it's fluid, continuous motion reduced to a static system.  There aren't players in set positions who can run specific plays, as in football (they've tried with basketball, and it doesn't work, mostly because players don't seem to understand picks).

So what do you do when you can't improve the quality of the gameplay?  You improve the experience.  EA Sports' NCAA Basketball '10 will essentially be the same shitty game as NCAA Basketball 2009, only with the greatest announcing duo in the history of videogame sports: Gus Johnson and Bill Raftery.  This way, when computer assistance kicks in and Blake Hoffarber goes by three defenders for a layup, Raftery can tell you to pick up the lingerie you left on the court.

* -- Yes, yes, NBA Jam.  But NBA Jam was not basketball.  NBA Jam is to basketball what Andrew WK is to music.

FUN FACTS!  Because there's no action in the two-deeps this week (OMG TONY MOEAKI IS OUT BUT HE STILL COULD PLAY IF HE ISN'T INJURED WHILE PUTTING ON HIS PANTS, sorry), Morehouse uses his Tuesday blogspace to drop some knowledge on you, ho (courtesy of the Iowa Sports Information Department, of course).  Quite possibly the most interesting fact of them all, on winning streaks:

The nine-game winning streak is the third for Iowa under Ferentz. Iowa won nine straight in 2002 and the Hawkeyes won their final eight games in 2004 and their opening game in 2005. Iowa has not opened the season with six straight wins since opening the 1985 campaign with seven straight.

Iowa has not gone undefeated in 10 straight games since 1956 and 1957. The Hawkeyes won their final four games in 1956 and the first five games of 1957 before a tie at Michigan. Iowa won the following week over Minnesota before losing at Ohio State. Iowa has not won 10 straight games since winning 20 straight from Nov. 6, 1920 to Oct. 20, 1923. That streak began with a home win over Northwestern and ended with a 9-6 loss to Illinois in the 1923 homecoming contest.

It doesn't feel like an extraordinarily long run, certainly due in part to the fact that there was a nine-month gap in the middle of it, but it's somewhat amazing to think that a win Saturday would continue a winning streak Iowa hasn't surpassed since Nile Kinnick was in short pants.

Footnotes:

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker