Black Heart Gold Pants: An SB Nation Community

Navigation: Jump to content areas:


Pro Quality. Fan Perspective.
Around SBN: Interview With UMD Athletic Director, Dr. Debbie Yow

Top 10 Reasons Iowa Will Lose to Indiana

[Bumped, of course. Hope we win another game this season. :-( --OPS]

10. A History of Violence. When you play smash mouth football you're bound to eventually get your mouth smashed. In the Michigan State Spartans Iowa finally found their equal, a team that could match them punch for punch. While the Hawkeyes won in East Lansing they lost plenty in the process. They're a wounded squad now and one has to wonder if they have enough to keep on fighting. Smart money says no. Look for them to throw in the towel around the end of the third round, er, quarter to the Rocky Balboa-esque Hoosiers this Saturday.

9. Hoosiers. In arguably the best sports movie ever made, Gene Hackman's Norman Dale lays out the blueprint for how to take down a giant. "And David put his hand in the bag and took out a stone and slung it..." I think you all know where this is going.

8. Chappell Show. No one will be laughing when Indiana quarterback Ben Chappell makes funny ha ha at Iowa's expense. Yeah, you think I'm joking? Well, you do know that Chappell is outperforming Stanzi in nearly every statistical category thus far, right? Expect Stanzi and Co. to get lots of Hawkeye heckling this Saturday.

7. Breaking Away. Last week Ray Fisher ran back his second kickoff of the season against Northwestern. Fisher leads the Big Ten and ranks fourth nationally averaging 38.1 yards per kick return. What's even more worrisome is that Fisher has at least one 40-yard return in five of the last six games. Of course this is very bad news for Iowa's leisurely kickoff defense that covers kickoffs with all the urgency of an airport rental car agent. Don't be surprised to see Fisher run one back...untouched.

Star-divide

6. Backfield in Motion. When your main guys in the backfield were, a year ago, shopping for tuxes for the Junior-Senior Prom, you're probably in trouble. Adam Robinson is out for several weeks with an ankle injury so enter the third or fourth man in (I've lost count), Brad Rogers. Ferentz tried to put a brave face on the deteriorating RB situation by lauding Rogers' potential value, but he let slip that the rotund Rogers started his Hawkeye career by choosing not to wait for his first year to actually put on his Freshman 15. If you see Rogers on Saturday it can only mean this.

5. A Cause Célèbre. Even James Dean (born in Marion, Indiana as it happens) would be with the program at this point. Unless and until DJK gets with it, he's tearing us apart.

4. My Name is Bill L. His Athletic Director loves him. ESPN analyst and former Indiana coach Lee Corso loves him (hired him to coach QBs when Corso made pit stop years ago in USFL). Former Indiana Coach Bill Mallory loves him (and that guy is so passionate he'll go into an opposing locker room after losing and scold his opponent to play better next time). But most importantly, the fans love him and the students love him. Expect all that love to be too much for the Hawkeyes to overcome on Saturday, as just the mere presence of Lynch on the sidelines is enough to lead Indiana to a victory.

3. Eerie, Indiana. Be afraid, be very freaking afraid. Look, as it is, bad things happen when Iowa plays a so-called inferior opponent at home...playing one on Halloween? Crawl under the sheets, cover your eyes, and say your prayers. And for God sake, DON'T ANSWER THE FUCKING DOOR! When Indiana comes knocking this Saturday just know that they've beaten Iowa in two of the last three games, and that includes a 38-20 romp over the Hawkeyes in Kinnick in 2007. When evil lurks outside those trapped on the inside start to turn on each other. Do not go to Kinnick this Saturday. You've been warned.

2. Letterman. Born in Indianapolis and responsible for the popularization of the remarkably overused and abused top ten list, David Letterman is a full-blooded Hoosier. Given the precarious nature of this weekends tilt, his lineage to the state of Indiana and the feebleness of this list might make all the difference in the world this weekend. Or not.

1. Brandon Wegher. Need I say more?

1 recs  |  Comment 100 comments |

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

Display:

I'll be the first to admit...

We’re fucked.

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on Oct 29, 2009 10:49 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

We're basically just presenting at this point.

Which is to say, you know… fucked, and so on and so forth.

by Bucketochicken on Oct 29, 2009 11:02 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Tossed salad fucked

i don't wife em...i one night em

by smokinthereiff on Oct 29, 2009 11:18 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Letterman's employees fucked

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Oct 29, 2009 11:29 AM CDT reply actions   1 recs

nyce

"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz

by StoopsMyAss on Oct 29, 2009 11:35 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Channel 2 News Team fucked...

Even if we are led into battle by Dorothy Mantooth herself.

Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart

by MissouriHawk on Oct 29, 2009 11:45 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

So fucked

Moeaki may get killed by a trident

Iowa Basketball: We don't rebuild, we implode.

by three and out the kok story on Oct 29, 2009 2:52 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ben Chappell

Where did you get that grenade?

by shada's revenge on Oct 29, 2009 5:04 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT!

i don't wife em...i one night em

by smokinthereiff on Oct 29, 2009 4:43 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Fucked

Fucking Utterly and com-fucking-pletely fucking fucked like fucking fuckers.

I have occupational turrettes... My job makes me swear uncontrolably at everyone.

by Ioweegin on Oct 29, 2009 11:42 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Take notes...

…this is how it’s supposed to be done.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 29, 2009 2:45 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Well...

It certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.

by With Ferentz Like These... on Oct 29, 2009 2:55 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Phucked

So bad I had to spell it with a PH. that’s bad.

by Pain in the Sash on Oct 29, 2009 11:53 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

I thought you meant...

…fucked like a Tai island in a tsunami.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 29, 2009 2:45 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

PH ucked..as in Pat Harty fucked?

That IS fucked……

Hawks....yup, I like 'em

by Rozhawkfan on Oct 29, 2009 4:22 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Octomom dating Jon Gosselin fucked.

by txhawkeye on Oct 29, 2009 12:05 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Brilliant!

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Oct 29, 2009 12:22 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Drunk sophmore at the Senior Prom fucked.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Oct 29, 2009 12:20 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

So, you are suggesting we are fucked as in...

Old Testament, real wrath of God type fucked. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies fucked! Rivers and seas boiling fucked. Forty years of darkness fucked!

Earthquakes, volcanoes fucked! The dead rising from the grave fucked! Human sacrifice fucked, dogs and cats living together fucked!

Mass fucking hysteria….fucked!

Yeah, I can see that.

"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz

by StoopsMyAss on Oct 29, 2009 1:14 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Fucked Harder Than 8 Guys Blowing 9 Guys

I will haunt your dreams and eat your children.

by Dr. Hawk on Oct 29, 2009 1:21 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

JC6 at Penn State fucked

We can evade reality, but we cannot evade the consequences of evading reality

by Ragnar Danneskjold on Oct 29, 2009 1:30 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions   0 recs

Speaking of JC6

Will he get to fuck us next year?

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Oct 29, 2009 1:40 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Really fucked

Like a fence post wrapped in barb wire fucked

by Jilogethan on Oct 29, 2009 2:00 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

In Soviet Russia,

ah, fuck it, we’re fucked… (I was going to say something like “we’re fucks YOU!” but that it did really roll off the keyboard like I wanted it to… Not bad for my first post!)

KOK, Please don't fuck this up...

by hawkeye_heartattack on Oct 29, 2009 2:03 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

We are fucked

But we are going to keep fucking that chicken

Iowa Basketball: We don't rebuild, we implode.

by three and out the kok story on Oct 29, 2009 2:06 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Oh god...

Do I click the link or don’t I?…

by Bucketochicken on Oct 29, 2009 2:17 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yes, yes you do

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Oct 29, 2009 2:36 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Dear lord, I didn't think of the possiblities

SFW (I think) with low volume.

Iowa Basketball: We don't rebuild, we implode.

by three and out the kok story on Oct 29, 2009 2:47 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

The look on the woman anchor's face

Fucking classic. And even she knows that we are ten dicks in the ass fucked.

by Imustbreakyou on Oct 29, 2009 3:23 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

This might be...

slightly inappropriate, but she LOOKS like she’s got a dick up her ass. And, yes, we are still fucked.

by Zulu on Oct 29, 2009 3:28 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

i think

We’ll be proper fucked by the Hoosier Pistol…

this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.

by pfac51 on Oct 29, 2009 3:58 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions   0 recs

Jimmy Chipwood Fucked...

Like a threesome with Gene Hackman and Dennis Hopper

by Wegher Please! on Oct 29, 2009 2:25 PM CDT via mobile reply actions   0 recs

Nerdy accountant doing time in San Quentin fucked.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Oct 29, 2009 2:36 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Like James Dean at Rock Hudson's Birthday Party Fucked...

You didn’t think that little Hoosier got to the top on talent alone, d’ya?

by Zulu on Oct 29, 2009 2:51 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

We're fucked

like Marisa Tomei in Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead

by Duez I say on Oct 29, 2009 3:46 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Jennifer Connelly

in Requiem for a Dream fucked.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Oct 29, 2009 4:27 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Soooooo Hottttttttt

Want to touch the heiney

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Oct 29, 2009 4:54 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

I've had...

lunch with her. She’s even hotter up close.

by Zulu on Oct 29, 2009 6:44 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Demi would be upset

if Zulu were fucking Ashton.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Oct 30, 2009 11:10 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

We are steve Martin

In Planes Trains and Automobiles no rental car or rental car agreement fucked!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3a7ATwS6-A&feature=youtube_gdata

Everybody wants a little milk of Michael

by Dr Feelgood on Oct 29, 2009 4:03 PM CDT via mobile reply actions   0 recs

seeing

THIS makes me think we’re Super-Fucked. i don’t think we can cover that read/ option pitch-out.

this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.

by pfac51 on Oct 29, 2009 4:10 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

We're fucked

like the Tampa Bay Bucs. No, seriously, take a look at them. We are that fucked.

by TAMPAHAWK on Oct 29, 2009 4:10 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

we"re fucked like having the

Tennessee Titans Defense on your Fantasy League team vs. the Pats kinda_fucked

this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.

by pfac51 on Oct 29, 2009 9:39 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions   0 recs

Kid who says "I'll be right back" in a horror film fucked.

Alternatively, the slutty couple having sex away from the group. First, we’re fucked, then we’re really fucked.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Oct 29, 2009 4:28 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Totally fucked

We’re coke whore visiting Christian Slater fucked.

by Guancous on Oct 29, 2009 4:50 PM CDT via mobile reply actions   0 recs

That’s Butch and Marcellus Wallace fucked, but we’re as fucked as Zed.

by txhawkeye on Oct 29, 2009 6:26 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

We're John Travolta

Taking a dump in the toilet of the man he was sent to kill fucked

by shada's revenge on Oct 29, 2009 6:58 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

(Vincent Vega)

by txhawkeye on Oct 29, 2009 7:03 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ok Ok

So I know everything about the movie except character names. I got it. Well played though.

by shada's revenge on Oct 29, 2009 7:42 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

No no, that was only amusing myself, clothed.

by txhawkeye on Oct 29, 2009 10:27 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

My first reaction

Was to laugh. I couldn’t remember his name for the life of me. I wasn’t offended in anyway, fyi.

by shada's revenge on Oct 30, 2009 6:52 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Zed"s fucked...he's dead

just like us if we continue on the Paki-bomb path

this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.

by pfac51 on Oct 29, 2009 9:31 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions   0 recs

We're Carlton from Fresh Prince's dance moves fucked...

…and way past Elaine’s dance moves fucked…

by hawkeyeguy85 on Oct 29, 2009 5:22 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Fucked

Like john candy being chased by a bear in The Great Outdoors fucked

"My momma always said, 'It's better to eat shit than to not eat at all.'" --Rube Baker

by McNutt Butter on Oct 29, 2009 5:31 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Fucked

Like I just got a deer lodged in my combine cornhead fucked

"My momma always said, 'It's better to eat shit than to not eat at all.'" --Rube Baker

by McNutt Butter on Oct 29, 2009 5:32 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

We are Christmas tree-looking.........

….knife in the prison laundry fucked.

by Bluzmn on Oct 29, 2009 5:52 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

When we're fucked

There isn’t much else to talk about, except the level in which we are fucked as illustrated by a couple people above.

It's not that I'm lazy, Bob, it's just that I don't care

by Colteyes on Oct 29, 2009 7:17 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

ah reply fail

It's not that I'm lazy, Bob, it's just that I don't care

by Colteyes on Oct 29, 2009 7:18 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

We're fucked

Like doorgunner on a submarine fucked.

by Confederate Hawk on Oct 29, 2009 8:08 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

we're Fucked like having

Jake Delhomme as your starting QB fucked…

this place smells like feet. i’ll bring a can of lysol next week.

by pfac51 on Oct 29, 2009 9:36 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions   0 recs

Get this week over with so the real hating can begin

Hawks win to go 9-0, but don’t cover this week. Emotional letdown, the running back situation and Bill Lynch doesn’t leave all those points on the table like he did in Evanston.

Sunday, Hatefest ’09 begins.

Purple Flag on Saturday
www.FourStarFootball.com

by Purple Flag on Saturday on Oct 30, 2009 8:42 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

I would have thought you would would wait

until after your All Hallows Eve beat down to poke your head in here.

"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz

by StoopsMyAss on Oct 30, 2009 9:54 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

It's been pretty boring

The PSU stuff for this week is as interesting as their uniforms.
You get Indiana, and that’s not really shaking your tree, either.

Purple Flag on Saturday
www.FourStarFootball.com

by Purple Flag on Saturday on Oct 30, 2009 10:08 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

But, we're bored and about to

win.

"I think it's safe to say our concerns are many." -- Kirk Ferentz

by StoopsMyAss on Oct 30, 2009 10:36 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

This week

That’s the point

Purple Flag on Saturday
www.FourStarFootball.com

by Purple Flag on Saturday on Oct 30, 2009 10:37 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Even waving your big poking stick

It’s still just too much Yawn to fight back. I feel like a bear swatting at gnats. Barely.

"For me the game wasn’t grounded in reality. It was about the uniform you put on that turned you into a warrior. It was about the mythology of the battle, the victory, the defeat, the struggle." - Mike Reid, PSU '69

by jtothep on Oct 30, 2009 6:34 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

But the hate is so one-way

You’re like the ISU of the Big Ten. We know you hate us, and so a win against you is nice for that reason alone. Other than that, though, the jNW is such a no-win situation for Iowa that it takes any enjoyment out of the game.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Oct 30, 2009 11:05 AM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hate?

I’m not really sure I can hate a program like jNW… Yeah, they’ve had a good run against us lately, but it’s like being mean to a kid who has some disability, in the end, it’s just not right. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still laugh at the top of my lungs when I see that Ryan Stadium cannot sell out in the middle of Chicago (the nation’s third largest city), and at the fact that there are probably more Hawkeye fans walking around Clark Street on BXI game days when I leave Merkle’s. Don’t worry though, we’ll help you guys sell out Ryan next year, and we’ll probably make up more than 50% of the fans in attendance.

They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!

by recoveringfratguy on Oct 30, 2009 2:51 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hey fratguy...

did you really start that post with “I’m not really sure I can hate a program like jNW…”

and then call them disabled, make fun of their home stadium, and the amount of fans they have?

Good for you!

Go Hawks!

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

-- Judge Smails

by WaterlooChazz on Oct 30, 2009 11:44 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

I like jNWU.

 
…but I also like Hate Week.

by Bucketochicken on Oct 31, 2009 1:18 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Comments For This Post Are Closed


User Tools

If you don't love it or leave it, USA, Number 1!
Start posting about the Hawkeyes »

Join SB Nation and dive into communities focused on all your favorite teams.

FanPosts

Community blog posts and discussion.

Recent FanPosts

Images_2__small
NFL Great Griese Comments on Stanziballs at Super Bowl
Biglebowski2_small
Iowa vs. Utah Valley Wrestling
20071_1317799871834_1435866490_30924685_4938494_n_small
13 Year Old QB Commits to USC
Gtvsia_small
A completely off topic apology.
Bob-sanders-081107_small
7 Hawkeyes get NFL combine invites
Lesjepsen_small
Bud Bowl II was apparently played in Iowa!
Heat-pacino-great-ass_small
Girl's Generation - Oh! Iowa!
Iowa-title1_small
Recruiting snobs list bigten worst conf. in this years class
Voyager1_small
Tim Dwight at the Millrose Games (Super 60)
Bob_sanders_iowa_small
Typical Iowa State: Paul Shirley.

+ New FanPost All FanPosts >


Managers

Mcqueen_small Hawkeye State

Anchower_small Oops Pow Surprise

Stains_small jebushchrist

Editors

Editorinchimp_small RossWB

Authors

Images_small StoopsMyAss

Spitzenhofen_small Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride

Official Partner of CBS Sports