See what happens when you don't buy cookies from Iowa Girl Scouts? I mean, you've gotta have something to take away the sour taste of Gatorade coming up your windpipe - you know, kind of like a hot dog burp, but worse, because it burns too - as you stagger off the field from a typical Iowa Bitch Hit... at least while you're sitting there with enough ice on your knees and head to reverse global warming, you can have a yummy cookie and maybe remember who the fuck you are.
I mean, the cookies do taste better than Gu or one of those fruity granola energy bars.