WOOOOOO!  Ric Flair is jet-settin', wearing custom-made clothes, and likes the 'Cocks.

(T/F/J: Cageside Seats)

There are also these things called "games" that matter.  Maxpreps.com, which could well be a website for people who want to learn how to act like the I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell guy, looks at how Iowa's recruiting philosophy contributes to its dominance over Penn State.  Essentially, it boils down to keeping Iowa kids home, finding unheralded recruits that fit well in the system, and picking off a stud or two:

For the second straight season, the Iowa Hawkeyes have upset Penn State. And for the second straight season, college football fans outside of Iowa City are asking the same question: How?

Iowa, the only Big Ten team to win a bowl game last season, focuses on its strengths, evaluates talent well and succeeds at molding players within Kirk Ferentz’s system. Put simply, Ferentz knows what it will take to win, and can usually assemble the recruiting pieces to do it.

Buried in the article is a mention of Iowa halfback commit Marcus Coker as a "MaxPreps National Player of the Year candidate."  Coker was more-or-less unrecruited by BCS schools -- his only other moderately-named offer was from Wake Forest, who wanted him as a fullback -- but he's putting up huge numbers this year and playing between skyscrapers.  If one of KF's annual "recruiting pieces" is "giant tackle-shattering halfback," we probably have our quota.

Of course, they also mention how Bryan Bulaga is a sure-fire first-day NFL Draft selection in April, at which point we closed our eyes, put our fingers in our ears, and yelled "WE CAN'T HEAR YOU" over and over again.

It won't go away.  Nearly two years after the incident allegedly happened, and more than a year after the details of the university "investigation" exploded across the front pages of the state's newspapers, Abe Satterfield and Cedric Everson are again asking to have their trials on charges of sexual assault delayed.  Satterfield's trial had previously been set to begin October 12, with Everson soon after.  Apparently, a possible plea deal, an expert report, and the unavailability of some witnesses are being cited as the cause for the delay.  It has been widely speculated that Kirk Ferentz would be called to testify at both trials (for what purpose, I don't know).  Moving the trial out of the middle of the season is probably beneficial, but this dark cloud needs to dissipate.

Caring remains creepy.  Iowa picked up commits # 15 and 16 yesterday.  First, Cincinnati defensive back B.J. Lowery (1* Scout, NR Rivals, NR ESPN) gave the Hawkeyes his pledge.  Lowery's only other offer to date was from Akron, though there was some interest from MAC programs like Ball State and Indiana.  Also, 2009 wide receiver commit Stephane N'Goumou, who failed to qualify, has recommitted to Iowa pending completion of the Milford Academy Grade and Test Score Resuscitation Program.

That's one way to steal wireless internet.  I mention this only because the OMG IOWA IS LAWLESS LOOK AT ALL THE THUGS people at CycloneFanatic can go fuck a goat: 

Iowa State reserve linebacker Matt Taufoou has been charged with fifth degree misdemeanor theft after allegedly stealing a wireless computer adapter from the campus Memorial Union book store on Sept. 17, according to Iowa State police department officials.

He turned himself into police Monday morning, according to police chief Jerry Stewart of the school’s Department of Public Safety....

Iowa State suspended three players on Sept. 22 after being arrested for allegedly possession a controlled substance – defensive back Kennard Banks, defensive end Cleyon Laing and linebacker Kevin Hamlin. They were reinstated two days later, and Banks started against Army.

Taufoou -- who should probably steal a consonant or seven for his last name -- was released by the Ames police on his own recognizance, then arrested by the Bad Facial Hair Police moments later.  

If this (or something infinitely less important, like being picked up for DUI on a moped) happens in Iowa City, Ames goes crazy.  When it happens to them, they sweep it under the rug: At the time of publication, the #1 thread in the football forum at CF is on Kimbo Slice.  Glass houses, ISU.  Glass houses.

Footnotes:

• Arkansas State changed their mascot from "Indian" to "Red Wolf" last year; the mildly retarded "we won't play teams with Native American mascots oh hello Fighting Illini of Illinois" rule, instituted in 2004 by the athletic department, would have prevented this week's game had they not.
• Things you don't want to hear: Your starting quarterback is getting support and advice from Juice Williams.
• Things you do want to hear:  Wilco, tonight at the Iowa Memorial Union.  Tickets are apparently still available.  I'll be at a funeral in Des Moines, so it's the first Wilco show in the state of Iowa that I've missed since 2004.  I'm nonplussed.
• Former Ohio State halfback and Heisman Trophy winner Eddie George likes the cut of Adam Robinson's jib, and thinks Wegher is pretty good too.
• Dochterman receives a note from some Hawkeye fans in Iraq.