It's easy to point out the problems with our team: inexperienced, no real inside presence, inferior athleticism, inability to make ESPN's top ten list due to lack of this, this and especially this.  (If you skipped all the links, you can eat a hot steamy bag of man-dicks.)

However, I'm not one to showcase our downfalls.  I'm here to provide the answer.  Yeah you fucking heard it right.  The answer.  I was already on the right track when I demanded more playing time for David Palmer.  Yeah, I know I said JR Angle, but I get those two confused all the time.  You fucking know who I meant.

Switched at birth?

This solution doesn't have anything to do with scheme, execution, personnel or murderdeathkills.  This has to do with us, the fans.

Now you're probably asking yourself, "Ugh, why did I eat at Hardee's for lunch today when I know it turns my asshole into a soup cannon?" 
Well, no, you're probably not. 
Maybe you're saying to yourself, "That bump on my dick is probably just a pimple." 
Maybe not. 
But you ARE probably asking yourself, "I'm just a fan, what can I do?" 

That's easy:

You can help turn Carver Hawkeye Arena into the new Crunkest Gym in America.

Let's do it.  justNorthwestern would shit all over themselves.