Dropping the Axe: Other People Who Should Be Fired

As OPS detailed below, Ed Podolak has "retired" (cough, cough) after pictures of the 61-year-old Iowa radio football analyst getting drunk and flirting with a blonde in Tampa were posted by the assbags at CycloneFanatic and published to a wider audience by the assbags at The Wizard of Odds.*

Apparently, having your picture taken while (a) drunk, or (b) flirting with an attractive female is a firable offense these days.  With that in mind, BHGP is handing out pink slips. 

Rod Blagojevich, Governor of Illinois

Transgression:  Signed a woman's chest outside Wrigley Field.

Blagosign_medium

Also tried to sell a Senate seat to the highest bidder while using coarse language, which is a far smaller foul.  Massive political corruption not seen on this scale since Tammany Hall pales in comparison with touching a boob.

Fired?  Not yet, but they're working on it.

Should be fired?  Absolutely.  That's practically assault.  Plus, he's about to elbow that poor kid in the head.  To the guillotine with him!

David Hasselhoff, Television Personality/Talent Judge

Transgression:  Got drunk and ate a hamburger.

David-hasselhoff-drunk_medium

Fired?  No.  Had to spend another summer sitting next to Sharon Osborne, watching children do gymnastics tricks and middle-aged losers spin plates on their toes.  In other words, firing him would have been rewarding bad behavior.

Should be fired?  If getting drunk and eating hamburgers shirtless is wrong, I don't want to be right.  A resounding no.

Larry Eustachy, Former Iowa State Basketball Coach

Transgression:  Drinking Natural Light out of the can.  Also, attending frat parties at opposing schools after games.  But really, we'd ignore the second if he would just spring for the longnecks.**

Eustachy2_medium

Fired?  Yes, in glorious fashion.

Should be fired?  The students in attendance at the parties said Eustachy badmouthed his team constantly.  Even if it was unwarranted (and it was not), ISU had no choice.

Kyle Orton, Chicago Bears Quarterback

Transgression:  Oh, where do we begin?  Here?

Orton2_medium

...or here?

Orton3_medium

...or maybe all of these?

Ortonmontage_medium

Fired?  Promoted, actually, after Lovie Smith realized that a quarterback nicknamed "Sex Cannon" was inferior to a quarterback who once had sex with an actual cannon.

Should be fired?  As a fan of the Minnesota Vikings, Jack Daniels, and the Sports Column, I hope Kyle keeps his job for as long as possible.

Jeff Reed, Pittsburgh Kicker

Transgression:  Bikini curls, 3 sets of 15 reps.

Jeefreedgirl_medium

Fired?  Not even close.  He kicked in all 16 games for the Steelers this season.

Should be fired?  That 44 yarder he missed against Dallas in week 15 cost me my fantasy playoff game.  Can his ass.

Tim Tebow, Leader of Men/Leper Healer

Transgression:  Uh...

Tebow_medium

Fired?  "I'M COMING BACK!"  Asshole.

Should be fired?  Absolutely.  Tim Tebow is a representative of the University of Florida and the worldwide religion of Christianity.  To allow himself to be pictured in such a compromising position is disgraceful and demands his immediate retirement from all University-related activities.  He should be ashamed of himself.  God have mercy on your soul, Mr. Tebow.


* -- There was a link to the CF thread posted in a comment on a Podolak-related FanPost.  We left the link in place, but chose not to publish the pictures because they were not newsworthy.  The pictures were in no way related to any illegal activity (unlike, say, City Boyz) or grossly immoral.  Ed's longtime drinking problems were well-documented (anyone who ever drank at the Wig & Pen on the Friday before a home game can attest), but didn't inhibit his job performance and, therefore, his own damn business. 

When people talk about blogs and message boards as part of the problem with modern culture, it's bullshit like this that they're referencing.  There are not many days when I'm embarassed to inhabit Blogfrica, but this is one of them.


** -- Yes, they make longnecks of Natty Light.  Somewhat-frequent commenter Irish Hawk, a devout supporter of the Nat, calls them "The Paradox."

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