Its Fucking Game Day!
FOR-EV-ER!

I will actually be recording the game on VCR today, while I go and shop for houses. Planning for the future and all, you know…

I finally get the big ten network at home. I finally figure what stupid overflow channel they are on. Then, and only then, I get shipped to D.C. for work, to spend a saturday working as Hannah rides through, silently praying that the network here won’t block the Yahoo stream. But if it does, thank goodness, the evil tyrant Dr. Haddy won’t be able to prevent you all from providing live commentary on the “spectacular” play of JC today.

pain! (Clubber Lang lives in Iowa City)

around 11:15am

I’m ready for some football. I needs me some footballs.

Of course, being on vacation and planning to fly out to a swanky hotel shortly after the game don’t hurt nothin, neither.

hic.

Let’s play some football, those chicken wings won’t eat themselves.

As compensation for being shipped away for the weekend, at least my firm put me up in Spitzer’s former favorite hotel in D.C., the mayflower. Strangely, I couldn’t find 5,000/hour prostitute on the hotel services guide. I suppose, I would have some difficulty pushing that through for re-imbursement though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNypDGoC_8M

Let’s play the feud! HELL 2 DA NAW!

Stanzi is NOT starting. He will play the second quarter unless JC is on fire…they will stay with the hot hand. (my cousin is a trainer..so I got the goods!). Also we are going to see Jewel a bit earlier han the fourth quarter when the opposition is knackered.

doesn’t give up another 100 yd to a running back, i’ll be happy

and if so, Jake fought a bear, so we should be good right?!?

He eats king kong and shits on the spanish armada

I mean certainly Ned can’t defeat “the second coming” can he?

Per reports from the game.

Brandon Wegher ran for 319 on Harlan last night. I’m aroused.

I might have a Sunday project

Nothing about the convicts (aside from the "watch for fluing helmets" banner).

Nothing about Corso and a merkin.

Nothing about Fowler’s love of Metallica.

Fucking amateurs.

Holy fucking shit

Moeaki and Tarpinian doubtful. Stross questionable. Doering disappointing.

Run-DJK takes the opening kick to midfield

Our starting left tackle is Brian Beluga. As in, whale.

Also, Brett Morse opens a lot of holes. Except that he doesn’t (go watch last week’s tape).

Why hire guys who don’t care enough about football to watch a fucking tape?

That was positively Jerome Bettis-like

7-0 Hawkeyes

NOT FUCKING ON IN CHICAGO!!! FUCKING MSU-MARSHALL???

Goin’ to Merkle’s. Eat my ass, BTN-Chicago.

just got compared to an IH Case tractor.

So what’s worse: BTN idiots or Listening to Dolphin

At least we’re scoring on our first drives again.

12-0!!! WOOO!!!! GENERIC OVERREACTION!!

Stanzi completes a long pass in stride. I forgot how that looks.

14-0 Iowa

Billy Mays here for Florida International football!

Seriously, I love Adrian Clayborn like he’s my son

Looks like Paki will win heisman and not greene.

Greene is running well, but fumbles it to FIU at the 40.

Looks like he may have injured his back. He was clutching in the huddle before the fumble.

Edds was thinking “How the hell am I this wide open?”

I don’t know what the fuck is going on here

I don’t want to sound like Stu Scott here, but why are our fans booing? Give the kid a fucking break. Greene wasn’t in the game, and nobody can seriously believe O’Meara is a legitimate option at halfback.

I don’t think booing is necessary

I have to spend 75 bucks on a Clayborn jersey. I was really trying to not buy one this year.

Good point, all it takes is 16 beers during tailgating and I might join in too.

And for all of you who were booing JC6 on the last series: Fuck. Off.

I scored a touchdown!

21-0 Iowa

I can’t find the game. I’m in Hiawatha

He’s plowing through people today.

I’d say the offense is back. Yes, it’s FIU, but Rock Chalk could only put 40 on these guys last week.

No offense to Sandeman, but he never makes that runback

That catch on the slant was fantastic. Good throw by Stanzi, too. 12 inches the wrong way and that’s picked.

C’mon Chaney.

That’s how it’s done, folks.

Stanzi. Myers. 28-0 Iowa.

I really hope we come out aggressive like this next week. I’m already nervous/excited/drunk for the game.

Whenever Stanzi is in, Eddie talks about how well plays are run, balls thrown and just general execution, but is very less effusively positive when JC is in? For those of you watching, is the difference that dramatic?

Holy crap. To Marshall?

Where is his athleticism…he needs to get a full body rub before the game!

Illinois, Ohio State, and Wisconsin all struggling…to wake up.

MANCRUSH

that just happened.

Small in stature, big in…well, you know.

You can’t stop him, you can only hope to contain him

We have a quarterback. Nice touch on the deep ball, nice move to avoid the sack. Poise, confidence, even a bit of swagger.

is going to get a bj from Eddie after this game

Another series. Another touchdown.

35-0 Iowa. 3:00 left in the first half

who, by the way, would never be called Chucky.

He just confused Reisner and Sandeman.

They are in shock…think Iowa would kill Kansas (who FIU played last week). I’ll take that (for now).

“rare combination of crushing size and sneaky speed” thats good stuff. We better fucking dominate next week.

For some reason, I’ve been cheering for Jacody Coleman to beat out Angerer for the MLB spot. I may need to rethink my position.

And your question: Best half of football by Iowa since when?

Ohio 7 – Ohio State 6

BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!

Is anyone else extremely dissapointed in the games today? Fucking Duke and NW is one the best games (granted it’s because it’s the NERD bowl, but still).

why Ferentz didn’t at least kick a FG at the end of the half. I don’t want to run up the score, but let’s be honest, our kicking game could use the practice. We had TOs remaining, call one with 2 or 3 seconds left and run out the kicking team. Just a thought.

at least their getting thier BCS implosion out of the way during the season…saving the Big 10 any further embarrassment. .

Anyone else notice that Ferentz hates recruiting so much, he can’t even pretend to like it for a commercial?

Younger replaces McCall. He’s…younger?

Nice first pass, though.

Nobody is quite sure why, but he’s looked competent.

and immediately completes a slightly underthrown pass to Brandon Myers

we’re doing a lot more with the offensive linemen this season? We didn’t even dare pull a guard on a run last year, let alone set up tight end screens and counters/traps for Greene

Watch as the Zookers crash back to earth like a meteor! This is unprecedented access to a 5-win team! Only on the Big Ten Network!

but Broderick Binns looked really good in that series

Purdue up 14-0 on 1-AA West
Michigan up 10-6 on Fake Miami
MSU up 21-7 on E. Mich
Illinois up 26-7 on EIU
Wisky up 24-14 on Marshall

Ohio 14 – Ohio State 6, with OSU driving

He’s got gaaaaaaaaame

It’s the backups, but it doesn’t excuse missed tackles on skinny wideouts

Please

Looks like the Chris Doyle program has another success story in the works

is the Ricky Stanzi of FIU.

Jesus Christ, get him on the bench

That would be a Rich Brooks-like personnel and playcalling shift to prevent Iowa from hitting the over/under at 41.5.

Is about ready to again destroy a tired, tired defense

On a Christensen pass??? I’ve truly seen it all.

Bernstine got sauteed there.

Just FUCKING TACKLE HIM

And so does Kirk.

FUCK THE BIG TEN NETWORK

And that was not pretty

Looking good in mopup duty. Again.

Are they officially redshirting both freshmen quarterbacks?

The FIU guy didn’t even see it until it hit him in the stomach. Just a horrible pass.

do it ref.

He was simply attempting to give the Hawks there very own Tyrone Prothro moment.

The OSU-Ohio game means we’re either getting the true power line (like USC -6), which will be bet on the USC side until it’s out of whack at game time, or a sucker line like USC -17. Either way, there’s money to be made.

She’s a terrible reporter, but holy hell she is FIIIIIIINNNNEEE.

Has anyone talked about the Erin Andrews wannabe we have on the sidelines? I love her and her stupid accent.

Brinson to FB looks more likely now.

White RB. Holy hell.

Isn’t Weinke a Lefty too? JC, McNutters, and Weinke….what is this Steve Young U.? hahahah! wooooo!

Hell yea

Game over

…or Tony Robbins surprisingly.

8-10 for 162 and 3 is fantastic. If he doesn’t start there will be a mutiny.

Avril Lavigne. What a way to tap off the day.

So very impressive today. Kudos.

With the OSUpocalypse apparently averted, I think I’m going to make some lunch and meander over to the Fanhouse chat:

http://ncaafootball.fanhouse.com/2008/09/06/swing-shift-saturday-college-football-live-blog/#cont

Thanks for the company this morning. Peace I’m outta here.

but fuck that. All I can say now is

WWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES!!!! GO HAWKS WIN FIGHT WIN GO GO GO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Merkle’s rules!! Yaaaay beer!!!!!

Sorry Jake, but you just got pwned.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAWKEYES!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Did I mention, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!??!!!!!

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But, you can call him Dick.

(After Jake takes a sack)

Even the O-line fucking hates him, they won’t even hold for him

fast through the hole and then painfully slow in the open field? He gets caught from behind more than any RB I’ve seen, but he gets 3-4 yards before the D knows he has the ball.

Is it said that I’ve already forgotten how to use a VCR? Rhetorical question, but I ended up recording 3 hours of an infomercial instead of the game. I caught the first half on the radio, but I’m still a fucktard. It hurts to admit that in public.

Nuts. I already wrote a huge, long stupid blog on wars because I was drunk, but at least I could spell in that one.