We were going to make some superlative statement about SC Heelan tailback and Iowa commit Brandon Wegher being the biggest in-state recruit since some Insert Cornfed He-Man Here, but then we realized he's on about Jordan Bernstine's hype level, and there's not much drama to a "Once In Every Two Years" level of greatness.

Plus he's "deceptively fast," a real "lunchpail," "pepperpot," "leader-type," all of which is to say he is white and therefore vastly inferior.

That's unfortunate for Wegher, because he's a fantastic get for the Hawkeye program. He's a lightning-quick rusher, and while he's not Reggie Bush, well, he's closer than most. Yes, the "interview" parts are exercises in banality (we don't hear the questions, but judging by the answers, they're probably like "do you prefer being good or mediocre?") and the radio cuts are little better, but they're not the point of the video. Please, enjoy a nice helping of carved defense for lunch. We have plenty for everybody.

There's plenty more Wegher on YouTube, even a workout video that's about 4 times longer than it needs to be, given the amount of content they're working with. But if you see a guy that can move like that in the Iowa backfield and you're not psyched, well, just pretend he's black or something.

And remember--if you're paying this much attention to a 17-year-old total stranger high school student, and it's a girl, you're already in jail. Have fun caring about recruiting, weirdos!