The best thing about last week is that the game was early, giving Hawk fans the entire afternoon and evening to kick their pets write nasty emails to Jake Christensen masturbate wildly ponder the preceding game. Also, it meant Hawkeye players could sleep in their own beds on Saturday night.

Well, all but one of them, as it turns out. Backup linebacker Dezman Moses spent the night downtown after being arrested for public intox*. Awkward.

Note: Still not Dezman Moses' mugshot. Repeat: still not him.

A few main points--

1. Unwise, Mr. Moses. Quite unwise.
2. We're a bit perplexed on the logistics here. The game finished a little after 2 p.m. Central in Pittsburgh. Sure, the flight's not exactly an all-nighter, but the plane wasn't idling in the parking lot at Heinz Field, either. Let's say they went from sideline to boarded in three hours, which is optimistic. Then, let's call it a 3-hour flight. Then 45 minutes to get from the Eastern Iowa Airport to campus. Then half an hour to get their lockers set back up. Then 15 minutes to get home. That means he didn't even walk into his room at Hillcrest until sometime after 9 p.m. If he gets ready, goes downtown, and gets into the U-Bar in under an hour, that's remarkable. So that's like four hours, tops, he could have possibly spent downtown. Which raises a very serious question: Why is Ferentz recruiting such fucking lightweights?
   
3. It should also be pointed out that the Johnson County Sheriff, Lonny Pulkrabek, advocated a shift in policy for officers in regards to public intox a while back. Pulkrabek acknowledged the effect that having a public intox on one's record can have for young people coming out of college, and floated the idea that cops could take in the visibly intoxicated and (assuming they weren't engaging in otherwise criminal behavior) let them sleep it off downtown without issuing charges. To our knowledge, nothing like that has gone down in Iowa City.
   
   Also, having spent much time in the area, we know that you basically have to try to get arrested. We don't know the specifics of the incident, and maybe Moses's behavior was totally innocuous, but considering it was 2:15 a.m. on the ped mall, drunk people were everywhere; you have to earn the cops' attention.
   
4. According to ESPN, Ferentz has already issued a discipline report. Dezman may want to start bringing his textbooks to games, because it's a long time before he'll be suiting up:

   "I'm extremely disappointed to learn of the incident involving Dezman Moses. Especially considering the circumstances. As stated previously, we will take more stringent action when dealing with unacceptable behavior. With that in mind, he'll serve a minimum four-game suspension, be required to receive counseling and take part in, and perform, community service activities during his suspension. At the end of his suspension period, we'll re-evaluate his status with the team."
   

5. We knew a guy who got a blowjay in the corner at the U-Bar back in the day. Those chicks are skank-ayyy.

*check out the "stuart pitman" comment. EPIC FAIL.