Oh, and that guy will get drunkenly assfucked by his frat brothers

I think this is the year that Ferentz goes absolute apeshit crazy on Cizik and Iowa State. This also throws Iowa right into the mix as B10 favorites.

Let this game not be close. Just for once, please. Besides I will be hosting F.A.S.C.I.S.M. 2008 and don’t need distractions from the game that cause me to slip into a drunken rage.

By that I mean, the bigger Johnson outboard because Kinnick Stadium is going to be sopping wet.

IOWA WINS: 5 AT 44 OFF

my daughter’s getting married tomorrow at 2pm. (Yes, when I was told the date of the wedding, she was immediately taken out of the will) What a waste of a good football Saturday. Please, Hawkeyes, take my frustrations out on those asswipes. Goddamnit.
42-0

Because I want those ISU bastards to suffer longer…

45 – 9

Swingin Dick Stanzi is the second coming of Jake Christensen! Whatever that means.

31-9 and that’s only because my shitty keyboard doesn’t have an inifinity key to replace where I wrote ‘31.’

Here’s to slowly dipping our balls in the collective mouth of the Cyclones……

Bill Swerski: Okay, gentlemen, another scenario: Da Bears, they don’t make it, the plane is delayed.. and the only one who shows up is Ditka. Ditka vs. Da Giants. Okay, score, gentlemen.

Pat Arnold: Alright, after da heart attack, I gotta say Ditka 17, Giants 14. He just barely gets by.

Bill Swerski: Alright, that sounds exciting. Perhaps, you know, a late Ditka field goal.
———

Wait….what were we talking about again?

Iowa State has covered the spread by about 17 ppg over the last four years. If history’s any indication, ISU should be favored by a field goal.

Therefore, I’m calling this one 36-17 Iowa. Vegas doesn’t exist in a vacuum, folks. If Iowa-ISU was played straight up over the last four years, Iowa would be 4-0, and the line would be somewhere around 28. ISU sucks.

Also, I predict DJK does something that nobody else on either team can do. Thvat guy turns the mundane into the incredible on a weekly basis. He is truly the BHGP of college football.

31-14 Hawks, BOOK IT!

You know, The Nihilist participated in BOOK IT when he was in grade school. Something about free personal pan pizzas that made me want to read. What’s that? There’s a football game today? Who are we playing? Iowa Statzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………………..

Oh! Sorry, dozed off there, GO HAWKS!

Clearly when I predicted Iowa would score 31, I was thinking that the long swinging dick of Stanzitown would have exchanged those two INT’s for TD’s. Therefore my prediction would have been much closer. As for the 9 I said the Cyclones would get, I was assuming that when the score became 25-3, Ferentz was going to put in Hampton, who momentarily got confused as to which way the offense was pointing and galloped to an accidental 50 yard touchdown in the wrong direction for ISU, who would have been so busy excitedly rubbing themselves on the outside of their pants that they would have missed the extra point. Game. 31-9. Just like I said.

17-5 … but we’ll see how it plays out.