J LEMAN SAVES THE WORLD, PART 2
by Adam Jacobi on Aug 8, 2008 1:40 PM CDT
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PrintScene: A palatial estate in western China. An emporer stares out a window, deep in thought.
I cannot see a thing. Fucking smog.
A young helper walks into the room.
Tea, your excerrency.
The man takes one sip and lackadaisically tosses the cup aside.
Tea again! It's tea evewy day! It's rike this whore countwy onry gwows tea!
Well, that's pwobabry twu
I won't have it! I demand mowe! I'm the rurew of arr of China! I won in a randsride erection!
It was definitery a huge erection.
And now hewe I am, twying to get a goddamn dwink that tastes rike something othew than the smog outside my window, and thewe isn't any in this entiwe goddamn countwy!
Youw excerrency, if I may
NO! I hate the tawiffs and cost hikes and evewything that makes soda cost rike fifteen Chinabucks for a can! Something must be done!
And here come the American athletes, the stars of the Olympics! Nobody's a bigger star than Michael Phelps or Lebron James, two world-class icons of athletics!
Something quite sevewe indeed...
Siw?
Arert the authowities, young herpew... We'we going to trap the Amewicans and hord them for wansom.
How wirr we accomprish this, siw?
With the crevewest of prans evew: We'rr make the Amewicans give Rebron wight to us.
How, Mao, how?
Yao.
Grrrrrrr...
TO BE CONTINUED...
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I'm sorry, it's what?
"This cream cheese story is good .But we can add some other story about the cream cheese." - Dr. Retarded
One more time.
"This cream cheese story is good .But we can add some other story about the cream cheese." - Dr. Retarded
Inevitabre! Things are inevitabry going to change! Goddamnit, open your fucking ears!
please tell me you have musical numbers planned for this series
Oh how diabolical
Can anyone stop the commies? Where is J Leman when you need him?
I hope JoePa gets worked into this somewhere.
Mike
Black Shoe Diaries
200 and a harf
Yust because visibility is 200 and a harf doesn’t mean jou can carr it smog. (Me tought we insurt a few spanich forks, too.) Me can’t wait for Remann scene when Remann yumps center stage and with a srow-motion sreep of head, spraying of hair, crears arr air in Orympic spectacre. He do cring to guns and bibres, no?
Bellanca
i can't decide
if i should be seriously offended as an american of asian descent, or continue with the laughing in anticipation of the appearance of he of the flag tie, of the defender of freedom of the united states of america, of he of the name of one letter….
definitery
Definitery, go with outrage. It’s yust outrageous. And yust when we had change tat we cud bereave in.
Bellanca
Pure coincidence.
"This cream cheese story is good .But we can add some other story about the cream cheese." - Dr. Retarded
It's kinda sirry
"This cream cheese story is good .But we can add some other story about the cream cheese." - Dr. Retarded
But not rearry
"Bob Zook has to be the laziest man alive"
by Patrick Vint on Aug 10, 2008 3:41 PM CDT up reply actions
The only erection joke
Is in my pants. No, fuck. I mean your pants. YOUR GOLD PANTS.
by Run Up The Score on Aug 9, 2008 4:25 PM CDT reply actions
Herro, chirdren!
"This cream cheese story is good .But we can add some other story about the cream cheese." - Dr. Retarded
Hirarious
BHGP: Come for the JoePa chronicles. Stay for the casual racism.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
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