The Press-Citizen's Media Day Coverage Is a Steaming Pile of S--t

Yes, it's been a while since we complained like little children about the job the P-C does, mainly because it's been a while since there was any football to be covered. Oh, and they did a bang-up, if self-serving, job covering the mistreatment scandal.

But this is a new season, a new year, and there's more DERRR HURRR stupid coverage to be foisted upon their poor readership.

We can't help, of course, but start with Pat Harty, the reigning champion of Pat Harty-related coverage in the eastern Iowa area. Oh, sure, he purports to cover the Hawkeyes. It's strange, though, that most of his columns end up being about him or, if he's feeling particularly generous, the media as a whole.

Today's edition is no exception. The headline, "DJK has plenty to say," would normally send a signal to the reader that the story is about DJK. Six first-person references and no enthralling quotes later, the reader is shamed. Your money quote:

DJK is one of just many nicknames that he has been given since his childhood days. He reeled off several other nicknames Monday, including my new favorite, "Coolio."

Now list the rest. You have to. It's a story about how awesome it is to listen to him talk and

"It’s crazy, and it’s been like that since I was a little boy," he said. "For some reason, people think I need a nickname. My first name is just not enough."

DJK credits his adoptive family for helping him reach this point in his life. He changed his name legally from Derrell Johnson to Derrell Johnson-Koulianos shortly before coming to Iowa.

Fuck you pal.

Fortunately, Rob Howe picks up the slack, which is strange because he writes for Scout.com and everyone knows online writers live in their mothers' basements and look at weird doodoo porn:

"DJK, Hell-Rell, Revenue-Rell, JK, E. John, D. John, D. John Koul, Koulio, Koulianos, I mean it doesn’t stop," he said to a very entertained group of reporters. "It’s wild. It’s crazy. And it’s been that way since I was a little boy."

Then there's the pictures. Either John Richard got bored as hell really quickly (plausible) or he hates the P-C's subscribers, because his photo set was jarringly worthless. Let's start with his first picture. Straight off the bat, we're left to wonder what the hell's going on.

Spaceblocks_medium 
Blocking... in SPAAAAAACE! photo credit: John Richard, Iowa City Press-Citizen

More pictures after the break.

Whoaguysfootball_medium 
Hey, they're just pals! They're goofy! And Colin Sandeman (right) should not do that in front of a camera anymore. (Photo credit: Matthew Holst, Iowa City Press-Citizen)

Greenscreen_medium
 Hi. Bryan Bulaga's in Delaware. (Photo credit: Matthew Holst, Iowa City Press-Citizen)

Brasky1_medium
Either they handed the camera to Bill Brasky for a couple minutes, or John Richard is 44 feet tall. (Photo credit: John Richard, Iowa City Press-Citizen)


Kroul_and_unusual_medium 
Kroul and Unusual Punishment. Okay, so this is pretty awesome. (Photo credit: Matthew Holst, Iowa City Press-Citizen)

Ends_medium 
Adrian Clayborn (L) and Christian Ballard (R). And this is really awesome. We can't stay mad. (Photo credit: Matthew Holst, Iowa City Press-Citizen)

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker