IN SOVIET IOWA, COTTON PICKS YOU!
by Oops Pow Surprise on Jul 30, 2008 12:35 PM CDT
7 comments
What a country!
After being spurned by top QB recruit Nate Scheelhaase for the Zooker and betrayed by OL/Walking Mountain David Barrent, the Hawkeyes were desperate for good news on the stalking young boys recruiting front. They got that and then some today, as RB/WR Jordan Cotton announced his commitment to Iowa. Cotton is the son of former Iowa fullback Marshall Cotton. Cotton is also at the end of every Q-Tip* sold in America. Isn't that neat?
Cotton is the second of Iowa's Big Four to announce; in addition to dastardly traitor Barrent, the state of Iowa also boasts top tailback Brandon Wegher and wideout Keenan Davis; both are 4-star prospects. Cotton only rates as a 3-star prospect by Rivals and Scout, but they're crap so fuck them.
Anyhoo, welcome aboard, Jordan. If you know any 6'5", 280 pound, 4.3 40 guys who need a full ride, let Iowa know. We could use 'em. Casey McMillan can't make this team go undefeated by himself,** you know.
(Terrorist fist jab: Mark Hasty)
*and Q-Tip is the lead man of legendary '90s hip-hop group A Tribe Called Quest. Fun facts!
**not until cannibalism is legalized, anyway.
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Marshall Cotton
Would be an awesome name for a Southern rock/blues band (or singer).
by Bucketochicken on Jul 30, 2008 1:24 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
"Field Day" was a pretty good record.
Oh, wait. That was Marshall Crenshaw. Never mind.
by telepathetic on Jul 31, 2008 12:22 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Correct me if I'm wrong
but this means we have 2 recruits.
2?
What the hell? Please tell me we’re just be picky and not throwing offers around.
by chitownhawkeye on Jul 30, 2008 7:03 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
That's precisely it
Iowa only figures to award 13-15 schollies this season, so they don’t have many offers out right now. Also, David Barrent should be thrown into a wood chipper.
"This cream cheese story is good .But we can add some other story about the cream cheese." - Dr. Retarded
by Oops Pow Surprise on Jul 30, 2008 7:42 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
No wood chipper could handle that kid. Might I suggest a volcano?
by jebushchrist on Jul 30, 2008 7:51 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wood chipper? Volcano?
Why not just feed him to McMillan?
by Bucketochicken on Jul 30, 2008 8:39 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
The Coen Brothers approve your methods
"Bob Zook has to be the laziest man alive"
by Hawkeye State on Jul 30, 2008 10:23 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
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