If it's Friday, these must be ITEMS!

ITEM! Dr. Tom Davis has been named to the UI Varsity Club Hall of Fame! He will be joined in the 2008 class by Marv Cook, Lincoln McIlravy, and three people you have never heard of.

ITEM! [NAME REDACTED], who replaced Dr. Tom at Iowa but probably won't be doing so in the UI HOF, errs once again on the side of caution... just kidding, he's testing the ethical boundaries again and looking for a breach in which he can benefit. Clever girl.

ITEM! Take notes, message board idiots-- you can't just go around accusing rival players of cocaine distribution. As culling of the Husker fan goes, this is an absolutely artful example, Darwin. Keep up the good work.

ITEM! Lakeston T. Postsworth on coaching seniority:

Joe Tiller is retiring at the end of the season and there is a distinct possibility JoePa could call it quits as well. In the event both of these happen, Fitz would be among the most senior coaches in the Big Ten behind only Tressel and Ferentz. How crazy is THAT?

Well, setting aside the technicality of Bret Bielema being named coach far earlier in the off-season than Fitzgerald, there's another coach who's been here a full year before Fitzgerald. Can you guess who?

Ahem.

I said, can you guess who??

God damn it, someone wake him up.

WHOOOOOOOOO THE ZOOKER IS ROLLLLLLIN

You were asleep. It's the middle of the day, Ron.

MISTA ZOOKBOMB WILL BE FNIE KTHXLOL.

Anyway, you were supposed to take LTP to task for forgetting about you.

Whnere amr I?????//

I have no idea, to be honest. Hotel room in St. Louis? An alleyway? Ocean floor?

oh crap no pants LOLOLOL!!!!

Do you need a moment or something? We can do this later.

Nahhhh punky rooster, the ZookHook's hangin just fine~! Jsut gotta kick yr girlfreind out!!

With all due respect, what on earth are you talking about?

weait thas just a beanbag wtih a couple shoes near it, kiiinda looks like her there guy

I hate you.

Ih eard she got on weihgt watchers and it broke

LOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL

I really hate you.