The Glorious Return of Friday ITEMS!
by Adam Jacobi on Jul 11, 2008 1:03 PM CDT
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PrintIf it's Friday, these must be ITEMS!
ITEM! Dr. Tom Davis has been named to the UI Varsity Club Hall of Fame! He will be joined in the 2008 class by Marv Cook, Lincoln McIlravy, and three people you have never heard of.
ITEM! [NAME REDACTED], who replaced Dr. Tom at Iowa but probably won't be doing so in the UI HOF, errs once again on the side of caution... just kidding, he's testing the ethical boundaries again and looking for a breach in which he can benefit. Clever girl.
ITEM! Take notes, message board idiots-- you can't just go around accusing rival players of cocaine distribution. As culling of the Husker fan goes, this is an absolutely artful example, Darwin. Keep up the good work.
ITEM! Lakeston T. Postsworth on coaching seniority:
Joe Tiller is retiring at the end of the season and there is a distinct possibility JoePa could call it quits as well. In the event both of these happen, Fitz would be among the most senior coaches in the Big Ten behind only Tressel and Ferentz. How crazy is THAT?
Well, setting aside the technicality of Bret Bielema being named coach far earlier in the off-season than Fitzgerald, there's another coach who's been here a full year before Fitzgerald. Can you guess who?
Ahem.
I said, can you guess who??
God damn it, someone wake him up.
WHOOOOOOOOO THE ZOOKER IS ROLLLLLLIN
You were asleep. It's the middle of the day, Ron.
MISTA ZOOKBOMB WILL BE FNIE KTHXLOL.
Anyway, you were supposed to take LTP to task for forgetting about you.
Whnere amr I?????//
I have no idea, to be honest. Hotel room in St. Louis? An alleyway? Ocean floor?
oh crap no pants LOLOLOL!!!!
Do you need a moment or something? We can do this later.
Nahhhh punky rooster, the ZookHook's hangin just fine~! Jsut gotta kick yr girlfreind out!!
With all due respect, what on earth are you talking about?
weait thas just a beanbag wtih a couple shoes near it, kiiinda looks like her there guy
I hate you.
Ih eard she got on weihgt watchers and it broke
LOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL
I really hate you.
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Holy fuckbeans
With all due respect to that crazy old man JoePa, the Zooker rollin’ is hands-down my favorite aspect of BGHP shenanigans.
The Zooker is the OG when it comes to keeping it fake.
by jebushchrist on Jul 11, 2008 3:48 PM CDT up reply actions
Asleep at the wheel...
Much like Zooker in his 1-15 first two years, which I conveniently omitted since the Illini under Zook didn’t exist, for all intents and purposes, until last year. You got me. However, relative to seniority, c’mon what is this the union. You’ve either coached X years or not…date of hire, really? If JoePa turns the reigns over at season’s end, your “boy” becomes the Hayden of coaching…
As of end of 2008 campaign assuming JoePa steps down (bad assumption!)
Ferentz – 10 seasons
Sweatervest – 8 seasons
Zooker – 4 seasons (questionable 2005 and 2006 constitute “seasons”)
Fitz, Bielema – 3 seasons
Dantonio, Lynch, Brewster – 2 seasons
RichRod – 1 season
Hope (Purdue) – 0
Nice catch and glad I could spark a Cybil-esque Zooker monologue
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