Programming Note: HEY GUYZ AOL

Programming notes are when we write stories outside of BHGP for people who make a lot more money than we do. If you don't click them, we lose money, and we stop writing anywhere, including here. We're not threatening you, we're just saying. Non-ad-clicking motherfucker.

Today's first House link is about a Purdue safety getting caught stealing a gang of condoms from a local grocery store. Something about that seems appropriate, doesn't it? A "safety" stealing safe sex instruments? It seems like the exact opposite of Jeff Hornacek playing "guard."

Fanhouse article numero dos is former Oklahoma captain Jack Mildren, dead of cancer at the young age of 58. The most impressive aspect of Mildren's spot in the record books is, without a doubt, that his coach didn't adopt the wishbone until halfway through Mildren's junior season; by the end of the next year, Mildren and the Sooners had rewritten the record books so completely that the NCAA record on rushing yards (472+ ypg) still stands to this day. Mildren led a great life, like a Nile Kinnick Lite, and while we're sad to see him go, we're happy to hail a true college hero. As said earlier, Godspeed, #11.

Lastly, there's the issue of Joe Paterno, who can't seem to keep him out of the headlines while the BHGP staff wrestles with the possibility of overdoing the JoePa Chronicles. To that end, the next (and at this point only the next) JoePa Chronicle will be appearing at AOL. This is not a permanent change, as I really enjoy typing the word "fuck," but four Chronicles in eight days would be ridiculous, especially at an Iowa site that could give zero shits as to how PSU's doing. Like we forget 1994, assholes. Fuck Kerry Collins and fuck you.

We'll present a God-honest BHGP article this weekend, even as yours truly celebrates another birthday (official OPS age: 8), but rest assured that somewhere on the Internet, we're fucking bringing it hard.