BHGP Super Terrific Happy Fun Bracket Extravaganza: FINAL STANDINGS

The first week of April has come to an end, and with it, the NCAA Tournament.  Many of you haven't checked a bracket since Davidson knocked out your Final Four team (or, in my case, 3 of my final 4 were crushed in 32 hours).  Of course, there were better bracket prognosticators out there.  Tonight, they collect their prizes for winning the BHGP Super Terrific Happy Fun Bracket Extravaganza.

Third place:  Alwaysbetagainstbama and his 1980's-themed entry "Got that old time Ravel Dazzle"

HE'S ON FIRE!

Alwaysbetagainstbama (or ABAB, to his friends) scored 126 points by choosing all 4 #1 seeds to make the Final Four (really going out on a limb there, ABAB) and picking the championship matchup correctly.  Unfortunately, ABAB compared the records of the two participants and chose Memphis to win.  With 10 seconds left in the game, the BHGPSTHFBC was his.  'Twas not meant to be.

For finishing third -- and for espousing one of my 10 principles of college football gambling -- Alwaysbetagainstbama receives...NOTHING!  Take that, chalk boy!

Second place:  Chefhatstan and his, um, clealiness-themed entry "Off beat in the shower"

C'mon, this is a family blog

The Chef was only successful in picking two of the Final Four -- UNC and Kansas -- but he did it the old-fashioned way, by picking a Sweet 16 upset participant in Villanova and successfully crowning the Jayhawks.  Of course, had he read BHGP in the week prior to the tournament, he would have known teams like Villanova and Davidson had no business even being in the tournament, and he could have placed Clemson in the Elite Eight like a real man.  There's a reason I finished 59th.

For finishing second -- and possibly spending the last three weeks at The Chef's Hat restaurant on 24th and Central in Bettendorf, Iowa -- Stan wins...NOTHING!  Should have listened to that Midwest preview and banked on Bill Self not winning the big one, buddy!

First Place:  Dougbarrett1 and his aptly titled entry black-heart-no-pantz

I know it was you, oh pantless derivative of our Lord and Savior

Blatantly skirting the rules of the water-wine dichotomy is one thing, Jebus.  But assuming another identity ("Dougbarrett1," which is Bible Code for "Believe in Siena") and adding another bracket is just too much.  And to name it after your personal mantra is akin to hiding in plain sight.

"Doug" was extremely chalky, picking three #1 seeds and Duke (which is God's #1 seed).  While Duke didn't quite work out, the other three made it, and Barrett's predicted final came true, with Kansas beating Memphis.

So congrats to Dougbarrett1 for winning the 2007 BHGP Super Terrific Happy Fun Bracket Challenge.  He receives NOTHING for all his trouble.  Duke.  Give me a fucking break.

For the record, Jebus was the best of the Founding Fathers, finishing first twenty-sixth.  OPS finished fifty-eighth, one spot ahead of yours truly.  We never claimed we had any idea what we were talking about...