Friday Night ITEMS

ITEM! Programming note #1: A new Keeping The Man Busy is up at the Fanhouse. Read, damn you, read!

ITEM! Programming note #2: Reports that the Iowa football team has been shipped to Gitmo are false, false, false. Col. Jessup said he didn't want them.

ITEM! Pacman Jones won't be getting in trouble in strip clubs anymore. How do we know?

"I've got a (stripper's) pole in my house now," he explained. (His agent, Manny Arora, quickly explained that Jones was kidding.)

Kidding, my ass. I'd bet a kidney he's got a pole, shower stage, light show, and DJ all read to go, 24/7.

ITEM! Ronald Jenkees is fucking awesome.

ITEM! This also has nothing to do with sports, but if you missed last night's episode of the Colbert Report, you missed a transcendent duet with John Legend and Colbert vying for Lady Liberty's heart. The video's here, but the Comedy Central video software is ridiculously unreliable. If you'd like an mp3, why, we just so happen to have made one for you. The SBN software turned everything that wasn't a letter into an underscore, so you may want to rename it as you download it. Still, here you go. You're welcome.

ITEM! We're not wearing any pants.