Good News For People Who Like Good News
What's the best way to start a day? The same way CJ Jones started the Orange Bowl 5 years ago. Hit it.
Since I don't remember anything after halftime, when Iowa led 10-7, I think it's safe to assume Iowa won that game, right?
Anyway. We have reason to celebrate here at BHGP. First of all, we were named Best New Blog by a jury of our superiors, so WHOOOOOOO CHAMPAGNE IN MY EYES AND SHIT. But more importantly, we as Hawkeye fans have a championship to celebrate.
That's right, with a wild win in Madison, the Hawkeye women's basketball team secured a share of the Big Ten championship Sunday night. Turn your nose up at your own peril; since the men's last BXI title in 1980, the women have won nine conference titles and two conference tourneys (pops to embedded pdf; scroll to p. 186/ 23 of 41). There has simply been no more dominant college basketball program in the state of Iowa over the last 25 years.
Better yet, Lisa Bluder, she of being Bluded, was named Big Ten Coach of the Year in the process, and for good reason. The Hawkeyes had finished 14-16 the year prior, and were sleepwalking through another season (9-7, 2-3) when the light turned on. From then on, Iowa went 11-2, and pending the conference tourney, are tentatively slated as a 7 seed by CollegeRPI.com.
More you say? Yes, more it shall be. Jo Solverson, the Jess Settles of Iowa women's basketball, is wrapping up her roughly 19th year of eligibility by being named the last BXI co-POTW after two impressive performances against Northwestern and Wisconsin. She averaged 22 points, 3.5 boards, 4 dimes, and 2 steals, all while shooting a hey-men's-team-take-notes .455 from behind the arc.
Lest we be accused of sexism, the men's team has good news too: they play Northwestern tonight! And then they don't have to play any more regular season games! The nightmare's almost over! Northwestern, to their credit, has been much better as of late--a drubbing at Purdue notwithstanding, the Wildcats had given Iowa and Indiana all they could handle, and they beat Michigan in Ann Arbor. Still, Evanston is where basketball goes to die, and that's a perfect atmosphere for this iteration of the Hawkeyes, who need a cupcake as desperately as Mo'Nique's diseased brain tells her she needs.
One interesting thing to note is that every one of the five starters has been, at times, the best player on the team. During the non-conference season, Justin Johnson carried the load, and everyone knew he was Iowa's go-to guy. I once unironically compared Tony Freeman's impact on this team to that of Andre Woolridge during a liveblog. The New Gornographer was instrumental in Iowa's 4-6 conference start. Cyrus Tate was the Big Ten POTW after tough performances against NU and MSU, and people started to realize that the offense had to go through him. And lastly, over the past couple weeks, nobody has looked better off the dribble than Jake Kelly, who finishes as well as you could ever expect out of an 18-year-old who weighs about a buck-45 soaking wet. Which Hawkeye will step up tonight? It could be any of them.
Any more good news? Shit yes. As you may recall, Todd Lickliter's son John is the point guard for City High. His primary responsibility is to give the ball to Matt Gatens and then get the fuck out of the way. Their careers will both continue at Iowa next year; Matt will likely start, and John is walking on. But before that, they've got a state tournament to win. After wrapping up regionals on Saturday, the Little Hawks are a 1 seed in the 4-A state tournament (again, pops to pdf) facing Sioux City North tomorrow at 1:45 PM. Being that the entirety of the boys' tournament takes place between the end of Iowa's regular season and the beginning of the BXI Tourney, it's conceivable that Todd Lickliter may watch his son play every step of the way for the championship. Yes, that would take him away from the team for 3 nights out of the 8 before the Tourney, but--and I'm sorry Jebus--family should probably come first.
Aaaand finally, the Best Big Ten Blog was just announced at mgoblog. As I predicted, we did not win, but we picked up another runner-up, this time to worthy adversary Black Shoe Diaries.
The final CFBA total: One win, two runners-up, one sacrificial virgin to Galactus. That, friends, is good fucking news. Marchifornication cannot be stopped.
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26 comments
Comments
5 long years
Am I the only one who knows that we haven't won @ Northwestern since 2003?
by jebushchrist on Mar 4, 2008 11:36 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
In fact, right now on the BTN
I'm reliving Iowa's road loss @ Northwestern in 2006. I feel a liveblog coming on!
AHhhhhhhhhh... memories....
by jebushchrist on Mar 4, 2008 11:45 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Is that the one
where Northwestern won on a last second shot??? Or the other one where they won on a last second shot?
by iceberg on Mar 4, 2008 3:00 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Thought so
Congratulations also on awards to you, OPS and HS. You're all cleverly sick fucks, and I'm very jealous of that. Keep up the great work.
by iceberg on Mar 4, 2008 4:33 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Congratulations on your haul
You did forget to mention your impressive showing at the Blackies though
by PSU Nick on Mar 4, 2008 12:14 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Agreed.
I won best post and have yet to receive my... what were the awards?
by jebushchrist on Mar 4, 2008 3:07 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
Well done, gentlemen
congrats on the awards - much deserved.
Now just be sure to stick around a while and don't disappear suddenly like other blogs. The average lifespan of a blog is 14 months, according to slashdot.*
*yes, I made that up out of thin air.
by hdhawk on Mar 4, 2008 1:30 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Congrats
The way I see it, trophy wise, 1 win, 2 runner-ups, and sacrified to Galactus sums up the football season as pretty accurately as well.
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 4, 2008 6:16 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
well-deserved
Congratulations, well-deserved. It's always great to see that a completely useless, time-sucking, dilatory avocation is rewarded with broad and convincing recognition, resulting in modestly improved click-through rates. Caution: wives wear thin on this sort of thing, over time.
Anyway, now that you are the Drudge/Diablo_Cody of Hawkeye arcana, does that mean unfunny guys like Bellanca get the door slammed in his face?
I mean, it took me six months just to figure out what the whole "I'm taking my pants off ..." trope expressed. Something about the image causing my brain to freeze. Sure, you're hotshots now, but even Rod Carew had a sophomore slump. Maybe you'll need those of us who keep their pants on? If I promise to use fewer semi-colons? And never to refer to myself in the third person, ever again?
Anyway, and again, congratulations.
(I still prefer that our moped-abusing teenage miscreants smoke hemp in the privacy of their homes without armed intrusion by wanna-be SWATs who would be walking in Anbar, in the Marines, if they were the real deal. Perhaps I can be your lone libertarian contributor?)
by Bellanca on Mar 5, 2008 8:41 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
Dearest Bellanca:
You're the only member of our commentariat that we've promoted to the front page more than once. You're practically on staff. There's always a seat at the table for you, and by all means, wear pants, brother.
Someone has to go get supplies.
Sincerely,
The MGMT
by jebushchrist on Mar 5, 2008 9:27 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
groucho marx/woody allen macro quip here
Something about not wanting to join any club that will have him?
I enjoy how my posts bring out the flowery ("Dearest ... old bean") victorian pseudo-anglo prose in you guys. I think we should all move on though and not deconstruct that tic.
Please.
Anyway, as long as Hillary doesn't get too full of herself and her recent stomping of the hopeful one, and threaten to take off her pants(uit), I'm probably fine.
Did I just manage to cause even BHGP to shudder? We all remember our first time.
by Bellanca on Mar 5, 2008 10:40 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
I need ...
I need six months to recover from that graphic.
by Bellanca on Mar 5, 2008 10:48 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
I mean
I mean, if her face looks like oatmeal, do you understand what her backside ... arghhh, I am .... am .... it's .... stop. Must ... get ... air.
by Bellanca on Mar 5, 2008 10:50 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
again
You think too much, man. Just turn out the lights, have a few drinks, and get down to it.
I think she'd be fine.
by jebushchrist on Mar 5, 2008 10:56 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
kevlar pantsuit
Without that kevlar-reinforced pantsuit that woman's ass wouldn't fit into a 40 gallon garbage bag. It's the sole source of my sympathy for Mr. Bill.
by Bellanca on Mar 5, 2008 11:01 AM CST reply actions 0 recs
whatever
She wouldn't be wearing a pantsuit or garbage bag if she was in my stabbin' cabin. I think old girl would ride you til the wheels came off.
by jebushchrist on Mar 5, 2008 11:08 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
All that repressed
rage, insecurity and nuclear powered ambition is bottled up inside her and needs an outlet. Why do you think she's running for president?
Once the air starts out of that balloon she'd be an unrelenting mix of gratefulness, persistence and enthusiasm. It would require a full weekend if intravenous fluids and carry out dining.
Oh yeah, she's nothing to look at but you'd never, ever be the same.
Have a nice day.
by hdhawk on Mar 5, 2008 11:46 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs
My reaction to the Jebus/Bellanca conversation
by Oops Pow Surprise on Mar 5, 2008 12:24 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
sure
Sure, pictures. As apparently the only guy here who both prefers a blinkered reality, oatmeal in my breakfast bowl not pressing against my nether regions, not to mention, probably, evidently (given the sophomore slumping team's enthusiasm for the unmentionable pantssuited harridan), perhaps the patent for this device can be acquired and updated. Surely they can pour Mrs. C into something like this so her pantsuits fit her like an Elite model, and she'll have more fun, too. With luck her voice would change. You know, a husky whisper, from time to time, expressing delight with the world instead of that incessant, whining contempt.
http://www.erosblog.com/sex-blog-pic...
Too much to ask for? One must have Hope, Hope.
by Bellanca on Mar 5, 2008 12:59 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
ooops -- NSFW.
The link is NSFW. Delete my post! I thought I was just linking to the corset. Apologies.
by Bellanca on Mar 5, 2008 1:00 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Yes, DO NOT click the link--here's the picture

Their site apparently has a redirect thing that keeps you from hotlinking pictures like that.
Anyhoo, we'll keep the post itself up, because the notion of "pouring" Hillyeah into a corset is a wonderfully terrifying visual.
by Oops Pow Surprise on Mar 5, 2008 1:06 PM CST up reply actions 0 recs
wow
You guys got a little carried away.
by jebushchrist on Mar 5, 2008 1:11 PM CST reply actions 0 recs
Seven Types of Ambiguity, for fuck's sake.
Oh, Disturbing Turn Anonymous (very bold you are), I apologized for fuck's sake. I didn't mean to offend with grossly obvious interests in the unmentionable. I usually keep them to myself but it was a bizarre day.
You are clearly a white person, mis-addressing yourself. You belong here, appreciating expensive sandwiches:
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpres...
There, you can compare notes on cute fucking housebroken dogs and the best slightly used Swedish car (with private college stickers plastered to the rear window!) to drive to your kid's highly exclusive prep school, where you can smirk and demur while someone admires your association with (money) (a certain political party) (the location of your second home) (where your best friend once-removed got his MBA). Fuck me.
Word to the wise: a true Hawkeye understands irony when he sees it. * I*-rony. Begins with I. Get a clue. For starters I suggest Empson's Seven Types of Ambiguity. Is reading within your capabilities, or do you prefer bleated statements of moral aghast-ness?
by Bellanca on Mar 5, 2008 8:26 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

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