BHGP BRACKET MADNESS ROUND 1: SETH GORNEY VS. JEBUSHCHRIST
by Adam Jacobi on Mar 14, 2008 9:52 AM CDT
in Iowa Hawkeyes News
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PrintThis is what we're voting on. Today: Father vs. Son!
PROS: Was every bit the MVP of the Ohio State win as Justin Johnson was. Improved by leaps and bounds over his first three seasons. Has the best set of nicknames in Hawkeye history--The New Gornographer, Gorno For Pyros, Caligornication, Gornstar, Gornzilla, etc.
CONS: Got the Eagle/Globe/Anchor tattoo without ever joining the Marines, which neither we nor the Marines would recommend.
PROS: Undisputed king of liveblogs. Is not wearing pants. Adopted Seth Gorney, undoubtedly fueling Gorno's resurgence.
CONS: Doesn't write nearly enough for BHGP.
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then we know how you voted
fuckin' communist.
by Adam Jacobi on Mar 14, 2008 10:32 AM CDT up reply actions
Popularity contest?
Had I known this whole contest was going to be an homage to the writers / regular contributors to this site, I would have predicted my Final 4 accordingly. I never knew I needed to bring my kneepads to the brackets...
by jason3kidd on Mar 14, 2008 10:37 AM CDT reply actions
Also--
Please don't confuse that for whining. I just didn't want my brackets to be destroyed after only one round, which it appears as though they are. Who knew the Harty Party didn't have as much power as I thought?
by jason3kidd on Mar 14, 2008 10:40 AM CDT up reply actions
piss off
you're shocked that a "contest" that involves voting is a popularity contest? Really?
Also, Gorney is going to crush me, so your theory doesn't hold water.
by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 10:44 AM CDT up reply actions
"...your theory doesn't hold water."
Hey! Just like Huntrods! Cool!!
by Bucketochicken on Mar 14, 2008 10:50 AM CDT up reply actions
Thank you
I thought if I started with piss and included water, someone would go there. I should have known it'd be you, bucket.
by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 10:53 AM CDT up reply actions
That wasn't necessary
I included that disclaimer b/c I don't care if y'all win -- I hate that my bracket got fucked so early, and I wish I would have known.
by jason3kidd on Mar 14, 2008 10:57 AM CDT up reply actions
whatever
You accused us of making people stroke us and it couldn't be further from the truth. I'm a 5 seed in my own bracket. HS has to defeat Guy F. Rucker. OPS had to vanquish digitally remastered regionally famous beat writer Pat Harty. This is a dog fight.
There is no favoritism.
And again, Gorney is winning.
Good day, sir!
by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 11:10 AM CDT up reply actions
Uh, dude
Are you seriously making a big deal out of the fact that your BHGP Bracket Madness Bracket is ruined?
This is meant to be taken as seriously as AIDS. Which is not at all.
by Adam Jacobi on Mar 14, 2008 11:25 AM CDT up reply actions
I told you
When we seeded this, I knew there'd be controversy. This is amazing.
by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 11:33 AM CDT up reply actions
Sarcasm
Apparently we cannot get true meanings across via text. Jesus, you'd figure with your collective writing style, you could spot a joke. My bad for not making my joke apparent enough (honestly). While the Gornstar losing pains me, I'm certainly not legitimately mad about the bracket. Goodness gracious.
by jason3kidd on Mar 14, 2008 1:54 PM CDT up reply actions
... Gornstar is winning, has been all day
by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 1:59 PM CDT up reply actions
Had I known
I never would have said anything about the voting. Truly, you're some of the best writers out there and I come here at least 15 times a day, on the hopes that a new thread of comments has started. No more gush after this, but I truly didn't mean to offend you. I was only kidding.
by jason3kidd on Mar 14, 2008 2:01 PM CDT up reply actions
AIDS is soooooo 1990s
Cancer. Now there's something to be taken seriously.
by Bucketochicken on Mar 14, 2008 11:36 AM CDT up reply actions
Were you watching
this season? Huntrods, KOK, Hardy and Bohall suck. The only decent first round games have been Dmbmeg/Leman and now Jebus/Gorney. I predict Bellanca and HS will make quick work of their sorely overmatched opponents as well.
Is it a homage? No, they talent pool is just diluted.
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 14, 2008 11:25 AM CDT up reply actions
Seriously? HS over GFR?
For all our sakes, I hope Life As A G isn't reading this or we're all fucked. Guy Rucker will destroy us all.
by Bucketochicken on Mar 14, 2008 11:35 AM CDT up reply actions
Rucker?
Please, we have McMillan to protect us. And destroy us all
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 14, 2008 12:42 PM CDT up reply actions
and thank you
for calling my pool diluted.
by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 11:35 AM CDT up reply actions
There comes a point in every mans life
when he finds that his son can beat him. This is both a proud and sad day.
However, today is not that day. Viva Jebus!
(wait...he's losing? hmmm...maybe it is that day. Nevermind)
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 14, 2008 11:18 AM CDT reply actions
You know
Now that the season is over, he's not really my son anymore. He failed.
by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 12:07 PM CDT up reply actions
you're just jealous
cause I walked away from BHGP betrothed and you're gonna walk away defeated by your own flesh and blood.
Please
refrain from all Dodgeball quotes going forward or I will throw a wrench at your head.
Thank you,
The mgmt.
Correction
[removes goggles, swimcap, retainer, flips mushroom cloud over hunchback]
by jebushchrist on Mar 14, 2008 12:00 PM CDT up reply actions
thank you, anonymous
for defending my honor. I assure you my exquisite breasts are 100% real. You'll find out on our wedding night.
oh lord
like you're saving yourself for marriage.
by Adam Jacobi on Mar 14, 2008 12:23 PM CDT up reply actions
nice
I like to think that all of these anonymous comments are coming from the same guy. Makes it more fun to see him alternately propose, then insult, then support Meg again.
XBoxs
are more than capable of breaking themselves
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 14, 2008 12:40 PM CDT reply actions
Wait....
you're anonymous hero as well? and you're marrying 2 anonymous heroes?
This can't be legal in any state not named alabama
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 14, 2008 12:46 PM CDT reply actions
J Leman visited BHGP
He checked the bracket out. Meg emailed with him too. I suppose he realized he couldn't win so he didn't compete.
let's try this again
How about we talk about the fact that Jebus only has 19 votes, yet all of you continue to come here and ask him for entertainment.
For shame.
I voted for Jebus
But only because Gorn on the Cob let me down, and in my mind, has already been taken on a quiet, fog-ensconced morning fishing trip on Lake Tahoe...
by Bucketochicken on Mar 14, 2008 1:06 PM CDT up reply actions
in fact
I'm gonna say it now.
Jebus,
We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.
Oh shit
The last time we mentioned Brian, all hell broke loose. Thanks, Jeebs!
By the way, you're goddamn right I voted for you.
by Patrick Vint on Mar 14, 2008 3:15 PM CDT up reply actions
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