This is what we're voting on. Today: A jarringly unattractive man who, against all better logic, writes about the Hawkeyes on a regular basis vs. Pat Harty!

PROS: Writes for Black Heart Gold Pants, a [that picture is stupid. you're not even black.--ed.] So? Nobody's going to take it seriously. [and what's with the missing tooth? that doesn't make any sense.--ed.] May I finish?

CONS: [never fucking shuts up.--ed.] Dude, come on. This is my big chance. [they're gonna vote Harty over you.--ed.] You don't know that! [well, I certainly will.--ed.] You're a dick, editor. [write a decent article for once, then we'll talk.--ed.]

PROS: He's the Harty Party. Ripped us off once. Digitally combed his hair.

CONS: Why, we can't think of a single one.