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Around SBN: The Slow Decline of Duke

HISTORY'S GREATEST TURNAROUNDS

Everyone loves a comeback story. They also love crushing spirals to rock bottom. Some sporting events of the past week have made me ponder some of the greatest turnarounds in history. These are some of my favorites:

Thomas Jefferson, Bold Declaration Drafter - A slaveowner who later wrote passionately about the horrors of slavery, even dropping some anti-slavery bombs into the Declaration of Independence [which were quickly removed.--ed.].
Jefferson: He was for slavery before he was against it!

Mark Wahlberg, Actor - In just a few short years he went from being the biggest douche on MTV (no small feat) to being the smallest leading man in Hollywood.

(the rest... of the story)

Star-divide

Seth Gorney, Stud - He was the worst player on the Iowa team 3 years running. His nicknames included, but were not limited to: Chunk, Fucknuts, Tasmanian Doughboy, The Big Empty, and Mt. Mongo (mostly those were things I shouted at him from my living room). Saturday night against Ohio State, Seth was the most confident, high energy player on the floor. If anyone needs further proof of Todd Lickliter's coaching abilities, look no further than Seth.

Ashlee Simpson, ... Celebrity?


David Petraeus, General - Commanded a surge of troops over the last year that has made Baghdad the safest place in the Middle East for Christians. Never heard of him? Of course you haven't - the media isn't as interested in the war in Iraq now that we appear to be winning it.

Drake Bulldogs - Last season, Drake was just 6-12 in the Missouri Valley, their 21st straight year without a winning conference record. In Keno Davis' first season as a head coach the Bulldogs are 11-0 in the conference and 20-1 overall. This is one of the most amazing turnarounds in sports' history.


Not Pictured: The Original Noah

Noah, Shepherd - Abandoned in a river as a baby, Noah drifted into shepherding and murder as a young adult [that was Moses, chief.--ed.]. Eventually invented wine, and became a renowned yachtsman and animal rights activist.
Also said "with great power comes great responsibility" [that was actually Cliff Robertson.--ed.] .

Carlos Ghosn, CEO - When Ghosn took over Nissan they were the laughingstock of the Asian auto industry - $20 billion in debt and having only 3 of their 45 production cars being profitable. Using Western business techniques he made them profitable in 1 year and debt free within 5. He's kind of a big deal.

New England Patriots - Started 18-0 playing a cocky, confident, overwhelming style of football. Kicking downed opponents in the face, bragging about it to anyone who would listen, and relishing the role of the bully. They were the Cobra Kai. But when the Super Bowl started they were a completely different team, gone was the swagger and in its place was fear, a skittish QB, and an ill conceived gameplan. They went from greatest team of all time to biggest disappointment of all time in the time it took a coin to flip. Bravo!

0 recs  |  Comment 24 comments

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sadly...

everything you see in this article actually happened.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 4, 2008 12:43 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

fucker

The above comment was mine.

by dmbmeg on Feb 4, 2008 12:44 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

That coin flip won me $20

Tails never fails.

Oh, and go Giants.

by Hawkeye State on Feb 4, 2008 12:45 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

read a book, dude

Noah is credited with inventing wine. Noah of Ark fame, not Joe-Kim.
We deal with facts here at BHGP.

by jebushchrist on Feb 4, 2008 12:54 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

uh-oh, someone needs a refund
That feed is called "every post for the last month".
Stay gold, anonymous, stay gold.

by jebushchrist on Feb 4, 2008 1:18 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

I'm cool like dmbmeg

That was my post.  Guess I wasn't logged in either.  Fuck you, work computer.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 4, 2008 2:09 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

yeah!

[high five bucketochicken]!!

by dmbmeg on Feb 4, 2008 2:28 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

LOLZZYY!^!$%@&(@$#&(^%

jebushchrist wrote that post you fucktwat.

by dmbmeg on Feb 4, 2008 2:27 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

seriously,

I'm still laughing. This made my day so much brighter.

by dmbmeg on Feb 4, 2008 2:30 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

EPIC FAIL

Thank you Anonymous Hero. Thank you so much.

by Oops Pow Surprise on Feb 4, 2008 2:30 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Just admit it...

C'mon dude, you know if you could perform autoplagiarism you'd never leave the house...

by Bucketochicken on Feb 4, 2008 2:38 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

yes

I practice autoplagiarism on a daily basis, but usually there are a few more candles lit than this.

by dmbmeg on Feb 4, 2008 2:42 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

funny

That's actually the greatest thing I've ever read at EDSBS. "Orson" was positively transcendent that day. Brilliant.

by jebushchrist on Feb 4, 2008 3:22 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

I bet you anything

this is the WTF THAT IS A PIC OF TIM TEBOW guy from the blogger bracket.

by Holly Anderson on Feb 4, 2008 3:28 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

yeah?

I hope so. I hate to think there's more than one.

by jebushchrist on Feb 4, 2008 3:35 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

holy shit
[ducks from pig flying through air]

An anonymous commenter...apologized? Mildly backhanded, yes, but still an apology, no?

by dmbmeg on Feb 4, 2008 4:34 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

No big deal

I get different people's wirting confused all the time.  Shoot, sometimes I can't even tell my own wirts apart form other people's.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 4, 2008 4:40 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

keep it

For starters, you don't even know what plagiarism is, dickhead, and accusing someone of plagiarism isn't something you can apologize for and take back. So piss off for that. Further, for you to say I should take it as a compliment is like saying the waitress I made lewd comments to at the bar Saturday should have been flattered because I'm so handsome.
Go away.

by jebushchrist on Feb 4, 2008 8:22 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

tj
yo jebush,
good effort, accuracy not so much.
it turns out that the laws of virginia would not allow an owner to free a slave if they were in debt.  tj was so busy giving his money away (liberty and all and starting that pesky and expensive UVa) that he was rarely out of debt.  for the brief times that he was, he would free whoever he could.  of course, the "slaves" that lived with him were as equals (plus the heretofore rumored jungle fever).  thomas jefferson was never pro slavery.

seth gorney is the steve waite of 2008.

you had me at blood and semen

by hawkontherocks on Feb 4, 2008 10:55 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

dude

He purchased humans and made them work his land.
There were no laws requiring him to do that.

by jebushchrist on Feb 5, 2008 1:44 AM CST up reply actions   0 recs

[adjusts bathrobe]

Thanks. We appreciate the DAP but this is a case where being nominated is enough.

No man ever leaves EDSBS. Once it gets into you it stays. Like a shiv.

by jebushchrist on Feb 5, 2008 2:32 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

tj
jebush,
you are right.  after reading alot more about it, jefferson really had no excuse.  my bad.  awesome article.  it's obvious you spent quite a bit of time on it.
you had me at blood and semen

by hawkontherocks on Feb 5, 2008 7:22 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

thanks

No worries. We're here to educate, if nothing else.

by jebushchrist on Feb 5, 2008 8:00 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

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