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Iowa at Michigan State OPEN THREAD: Please Don't Kill Us


It's time for VENGEANCE. No, not you assclowns. Go away.

Iowa visits East Lansing today, a place where the Hawkeyes haven't won since 1993. Fa real. The Spartans have all sorts of reasons why they should win, namely:

  1. They're far better than Iowa at basketball;
  1. Izzo stands to win his 300th game today;
  1. cold, brutal revenge.

This won't be close, and we're perfectly aware of that, thank you. We just hope Iowa can keep the deficit to double digits. Be sure to keep your browsers pointed right hyeah as we suffer in the best way possible: together.

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Comments

Display:

and

I'm already ill. Hate the Spartans.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:10 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Nice tackle, dickwad.

Raymar Morgan divebombs old dude's knees, and the crowd starts booing because a foul was called? That shit's illegal in fucking football.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:14 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Fire walk with me

Twin Peaks rules!  Woooooooooooooo!!!!!

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 1:12 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

I just set my DVR

I'm recording the entire series on Chiller.  You win, Bucketochicken.  You always do.

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 1:44 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

17:20 remains in the first half

Lick already had to use a TO.
Izzo is already screaming at the officials.
Neitzel is already a prick.
Oh, and it's 8-1, MSU.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:12 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Somehow I forgot

that MSU has a fucking ginger kid at center. I hate Naymick so hard.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:15 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Eject?

I think I may have to bail already. I can't even think right now.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:16 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Hooters

Could they dress in a less attractive "uniform"?

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:18 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

It's just not an Iowa game

Without an arctic first eight minutes.

12-1 with 15:30 to go. Fuck me.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:19 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Prediction

Final score: Michigan State 212, Iowa 1.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:20 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Reggie Evans

If we could have him back for just 1 day...

We have the softest front line in college basketball history.

I'm done.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:21 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Lickliter

Looks like he's about to put the team in a bus, then push it into the ocean. Good heavens.

14-1.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:22 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

fucking fuck

We're so bad we can't get a shot off.
Jesus, we can't even fucking dribble.
Fuck.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:24 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Put your bets in now

When will Iowa hit their first field goal? I'm guessing with 9 minutes left in the first half... on Wednesday.

This is agonizing to watch.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:26 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Masochism

A very disturbed part of me kinda' hopes Sparty holds Iowa under 10 first half points, just for you know, novelty's sake.  

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 1:27 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Why do you

want to see Lickliter beat Freeman's face in at midcourt? Where's the sport in that? It'd just be like Jared Leto getting erased in Fight Club.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:30 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Second media timeout

and no fucking baskets for Iowa. 15-1.

Holy mother of God, we're setting new standards of incompetence.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:27 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

...

 title=
We know Alex. We know.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:30 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

oh goddammit

Make it stop. Make it stop.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:31 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

79-12?

This is going to be worse than that time the Dragons beat the Beavers...

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 1:31 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

big boy

with a bucket
wooo

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:32 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

pfffft

"Iowa won't run very often... and Freeman won't run here"
-- ESPN announcer guy

Does he know how hard it is to run and dribble at the same time?
Asshole.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:34 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

HOLY SHIT 9 POINTS STOP THE PRESSES

WE'VE GOT OURSELVES A REAL BARNBURNER NOW

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:35 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Ford commercial

They're swinging a pickup truck around a giant centrifuge. This strikes me as wildly unnecessary.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:38 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

and

ridiculously nauseating for drivers.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:40 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

You're just sitting there,

trying not to barf, and slamming on the brakes even though you know it won't do any good!

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:42 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I know what it's like

I get carsick in the passenger seat on occasion. I used to have an Isuzu Trooper and when I'd get really drunk (couple times a week), I'd let my girlfriend drive home. Well, the passenger seat made me sick, and I was already drunk, so I'd sit in the back seat. Then I'd shout stuff at her from Driving Miss Daisy, but she wouldn't play along, so I'd play both roles.

Daisy: What are you doing?
Hoke: I'm tryin' to drive you to the store!

or

Miss Daisy: Hoke?
Hoke: Yes'm.
Daisy: You're my best friend.
Hoke: No, go on Miss Daisy.
Daisy: No, really, you are...
Hoke: Yes'm.

She loved it!
(not really)

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:51 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

oh, I forgot

This was my favorite bit:

Daisy: You know your letters don't you?
Hoke: Oh yeahs, yeah I knows mah ABC's pretty good, jus' can't read.
Daisy: Stop saying that you're making me mad! If you know your letters you can read. You just don't know you can read.
Hoke: Ma'am?
Daisy: I taught some of the stupidest children God ever put on the face of this earth and all of them could read well enough to find a name on a tombstone.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:57 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

WOW

An Iowa player just threw the basketball through the hoop.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 1:42 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

to be fair

it wasn't exactly on purpose; he was aiming for one of the sousaphones.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:44 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Oh well

Better luck next time.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 1:45 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Honestly

I'm just glad they picked the right ball; it was embarrassing when they spent the first seven minutes of the ULM game trying to dribble a fucking baseball.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:47 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

You know it's bad when

Iowa goes on a 7-9 tear from the field and is still ridiculously and hopelessly behind.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:43 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Your 2007-2008 Iowa Hawkeyes

Helping you decide that you, in fact, hate the sport of basketball.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:48 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

MSU -15 1/2 was a steal

Iowa's suckitude at East Lansing is nothing new.

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 1:51 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

are you

trying to break my heart?

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:53 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

LINK WHORE LINK WHORE

We don't need to give that piggybacking butthole any more attention and oh god he's standing right behind me isn't he.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:53 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Yeah

The call is coming from inside the house!  THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 1:54 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

?

[ looks around for Boiled Sports]

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 1:59 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

oh christ

Don't mention them by name, that only encourages them.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 2:11 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

If I were at this game

regardless of my affiliation, I would leave at halftime. This is ridiculous.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:52 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Iowa Hoops is to Basketball

what "Weekend at Bernie's II" is to film.  And we don't even have Andrew fucking McCarthy...

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 1:52 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Maybe

I need to start drinking right now. I'm not sure that it would help the Hawkeyes in any way, shape, or form, but hey, my pants would be gone.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 1:55 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Since when

have you needed alcohol to go streaking from the waist down?

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 1:56 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Well

If my parents are reading, I'd like them to think that they can at least blame an outside substance for raising someone who engages in such behavior, rather than blaming themselves.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 2:00 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Sweet

"10,000 B.C." looks really, really cool.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 2:03 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

or as I call it

The Day Before Yesterday

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 2:05 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

The Senior Skins Game

Arnold Palmer - won seven majors
Jack Nicklaus - won eighteen majors
Gary Player - won nine majors
Peter Jacobsen - announcer on Golden Tee

I'm taking Jacobsen.

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 2:06 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

I don't know why

the stat people ever make a big deal about Iowa's bench points. Iowa's backups are Kurt Looby, a 9-year-old, a folding chair, a jar of cashews, and David Palmer.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 2:10 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

And a man who can't hold his liquor

Don't forget Bohall.  Don't ever forget.

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 2:11 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Bo Knows

Bo knows hitting the front rim. Bo knows Smirnoff Ice. Bo knows sleeping on the toilet.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 2:16 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Well, that was fun

Good to see MSU's up by 18 now. I just hope Iowa doesn't get doubled up.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 2:15 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Can I make one request?

Can Cyrus Tate show up in the first half once this season?

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 2:19 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Not until

Lickliter stops making the players wait until halftime to get their goose on.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 2:21 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

aaaaaaaaahahahaaa

Gornstar just tackled Peterson while he was "setting a screen"! Awesome.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 2:19 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Um

Why are the Spartaaaaan fans in costumes?

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 2:23 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

lehigh

is french for "the high"

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 2:25 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

lohigh

is french for "the blunt"

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 2:26 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

The score is 44-28, 11 1/2 minutes to go

if Michigan State merely dropkicks the ball on every possession, will Iowa get back within 10 points before the final horn?

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 2:28 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

There's NO TIME!

No, it's unpossible for them to score that many points in so little time.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 2:30 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

There's never any time!

I don't have time to study!  I'll never get into Stanford!  I'm so confused!

Everything will be alright.  I just need one of these...

by Hawkeye State on Feb 23, 2008 2:38 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

I think this game

must be what taking the Brown Acid at Woodstock was like.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 2:31 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

Goaltending

Our best offensive play of the game.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 2:34 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

nice

Freeman's first FG, 32 minutes into the game.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 2:35 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

It's a miracle

that Iowa is not losing by 90 at this point. They haven't done anything well.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 2:36 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

I feel like

Bob Uecker should be the announcer for all of our games.  With the reanimated corpse of Rodney Dangerfield doing color commentary.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 23, 2008 2:41 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

You know

Jim Zabel's still alive, let's not go tinkering with zombies unless we absolutely have to. I've seen what they can do.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 2:45 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

Goran Suton

Master of the two-foot miss.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 2:52 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

64-48, 2 minutes to go

And I'm leaving. Gents, it's been as pleasant as a root canal. Peace.

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 23, 2008 2:54 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

well

I hope you guys noticed that a certain squad from Iowa City just hit 50 points!!!
Yeah, I'm out too.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 2:56 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

naturally!

With 3 seconds left in a 14 point game MSU had to drive to the basket and get a shot off, as opposed to just letting time run out and shaking hands.
Fucking assholes.

by jebushchrist on Feb 23, 2008 3:00 PM CST reply actions   0 recs

I didn't watch but...

assuming the 15 1/2 spread mentioned above was correct...Well, you see what I'm getting at.

by icculus on Feb 23, 2008 6:04 PM CST up reply actions   0 recs

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