Guess Who Desperately Wants Iowa to Lose Tonight. Go On, Guess

by Adam Jacobi on Feb 19, 2008 4:09 PM CST in News Comment 14 comments

Should the Iowa men's basketball team lose to lowly Northwestern tonight, don't expect Iowa coach Todd Lickliter to use fatigue as an excuse.
[...]
"I can't imagine being 20 years old and being fatigued. I just can't even fathom that."
Senior forward Seth Gorney apparently can, though.
[...]
Iowa (11-15, 4-9 Big Ten) has lost three consecutive games using mostly a seven-player rotation. Some wonder if the lack of depth has started to take a toll on the players.

If you had one guess as to which local columnist may have unloaded such Haterade in light of Iowa's upcoming tilt against the comically incompetent Northwestern Wildcats, who would it be? Would it be Pat Harty? Of course it would. And it is.

There is, of course, nothing quite factually inaccurate about his stories; that'd be grounds for dismissal. Rather, his prose reminds us of Fox News reporting: so blatantly slanted that there must be an agenda behind it. Even Slapdick Skip Bayless isn't this firmly mired in bullshit.

You know what? Railing against Pat Harty feels like a job I don't even like anymore. It'a obvious and easy and repetitive. The guy's the exact opposite of a homer. His favorite team is whoever plays the Hawkeyes. He gets an erection whenever Jeff Peterson turns the ball over (which is a lot). Fuck Pat Harty.

We didn't want to do this, but in the face of such breathtaking hateration, we have no choice. Buckle up, folks; it's a Pat Harty Avalanche.

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[shakes fists, looks to sky]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

by Hawkeye State on Feb 19, 2008 4:14 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Why?

Did I scream "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" (silently, mind you, I'm at work) as I scrolled down, all the while giggling like an idiot?

by Buddy Light on Feb 19, 2008 4:18 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Just for a goof...

You should PhotoShop (or MS Paint, maybe) a cheeseburger into one of those. About 2/3 of the way through maybe, sorta random.

But yeah seriously fuck that guy.

by Bucketochicken on Feb 19, 2008 4:27 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Maybe Peter Griffin can lend a hand

I'd suggest you draw Pat Harty like a cat, or in any other humorous poses. That would be tremendous amounts of fun; or maybe taking it violently, in many different pornographic poses. Equally as fun.

by jason3kidd on Feb 19, 2008 4:35 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Never, ever do that again

without significant use of your creative license. It is cruel and unusual to be shown that rotunda of shit's "Aww shucks, look my hair is somewhat a mess, but I'm still taking the picture" look.

by three and out the kok story on Feb 19, 2008 5:34 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

God Damn....

How do you blow up (as in using explosives) a web page?

Hawks....yup, I like 'em

by Rozhawkfan on Feb 19, 2008 5:35 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Well great

Now I won't be able to sleep tonight. I hope you're proud of yourself.

by Adam on Feb 19, 2008 6:57 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Harty Har Har...

This Harty fellow strikes quite a pose...

by tdtommy on Feb 19, 2008 7:48 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

BUSH SUCKS!!11!

It's true. And, sure, it's obvious, but sometimes the obvious just needs to be said (in all caps, bold and with unnecessary exclamation points even).

by icculus on Feb 19, 2008 8:30 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Intramural game?

How can an intramural game:(1) be played at CHA and (2)be televised on the big ten network? Honestly, there are some good intramural teams who could give the Hawks a run based on what I see during this fiasco? What happened to the team that almost beat Purdue and beat OSU??

by tdtommy on Feb 19, 2008 9:33 PM CST reply actions 0 recs

Dude!

Why you gotta post that much Pat Harty?

My eyes burn!

by McLovin on Feb 20, 2008 9:22 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

It is a Harty Party

Who is next, Mike Hlas? The man behind "The Hlog."

http://cs.gazetteonline.com/blogs/th...

Please avoid posting that many pictures of Nancy Clark as your site might shut down for good.

I heart bobby da hitman

by MacG on Feb 20, 2008 9:44 AM CST reply actions 0 recs

I've got to say it

I read the Hlog all the time. Hlas knows what he's talking about.

by Hawkeye State on Feb 20, 2008 10:48 AM CST up reply actions 0 recs

We almost lost to NW.....

I would have cut myself if we lost that game last night. That Moore guy needs a real ass-kicking. Pat Harty is now my background on my computer.... No he's not, but Seth Gorney is, and he's fucking gorgeous.

by Boobie Miles on Feb 20, 2008 10:47 AM CST reply actions 0 recs