Michigan @ Iowa LIVEBLOG: Performance-Enhancing Edition
by Adam Jacobi on Feb 14, 2008 8:17 PM CST
in Iowa Hawkeyes News
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With the hullabaloo around Barry Bonds's positive steroids test in 2001 and Roger Clemens' bewildering testimony in Congress, it's time to tip a cap to the original performance enhancer: beer! Yes, I'm OPS, and I'm drinking my way to brilliance, because fuck it, it's a Thursday night. I'll be guiding you kids through Iowa's home tilt against a weak, sad, sorry Michigan team. It's on ESPN, so you can all watch along instead of taking our word for it (or worse, Dolph's).
Be sure to comment along with us as Iowa endeavors to keep Michigan in the cellar with the corpse that was Northwestern basketball.
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Yes, this is late
And criminally so. Mea culpa.
Iowa is up 14-7 at the second media timeout. They look much better than Michigan does, which is no hard task.
Michigan just threw it into the fifth row
Holy hell, I've seen some bad passes, but Tacopants wouldn't have touched that one.
The New Gornographer
is taking this game over.
19-7 Iowa with 7 to go in the first half. Michigan's on pace for about, uh, 20 points.
Seriously hard to believe
- that Michigan could be this bad (7 points in 14 1/2 minutes);
- they're still far and away better than Northwestern.
25-9 after a cold-blooded Jake Kelly 3. This can't be watchable for anyone but hardcore Iowa fans. Yeesh.
On cue
Did someone say hardcore Iowa fans?
Long day at the office, so it's nice to come home to a shitkicking of Michigan.
Am I the only one who wants an iBot wheelchair?
I am?
/walks slowly away
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2008 8:38 PM CST up reply actions
Ouch
I know it's Valentine's Day, but there's about 12 people there. Don't married people celebrate St. Valentine at sporting events?
While I'm at it
Why is this man the epitome of romance?
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2008 8:43 PM CST up reply actions
micheegun
I think we hired the better coach based on what I see tonight...if Indiana keeps Sampson around, they are making a statement that cheating is ok as long as we win...Gorney for most improved player in the B10...I like what I see in this Iowa team...guard people with passion...work the shot clock...and don't be bashful about the "3"...I thought in preseason if we won 4-5 it would be positive and I think we definitely surpass that...plus I like the foundation being laid with the emphasis on guarding people...Alford never could teach this and I am very happy with Lick...
Wow
That's an entire liveblog in one message.
Hi dad.
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2008 8:41 PM CST up reply actions
Talk about something out of nothing
Not only that play, but Looby as a basketball player in general. I hope he keeps improving after his career here and plays overseas or something. He's a freakish athlete.
The Gornographer: I never thought I'd hear
"The Hawkeyes are just not the same team when Gorney isn't out there" said in a positive light
by three and out the kok story on Feb 14, 2008 8:45 PM CST reply actions
27-16 at the half
And it's been every bit as ugly as that score would suggest.
There haven't been many fouls called, and it seemed like the ones that did get whistled were because the officials felt like they hadn't called one in too long. Two perimeter-oriented teams just aren't going to bang around in the paint. Too many whistles away from the shooter.
Did ESPN
just refer to Fran Fraschilla as their "Valentine's Day Guru"?
The guy wiped his ass to show his team at St. Joe's how they were practicing. Practice, man. We're talking about practice.
Chicks dig that, man
Take it from me. I know these things. I write a college sports blog.
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2008 8:56 PM CST up reply actions
micheegun
Call out the fashion police on Franchilla...who dresses these guys at ESPN????
BTN Network ads
They're annoying! We're talking Dane Fife annoying! We're talking Bobby Jackson getting the BXI POY over Dre Day annoying! We're talking a random European for Northwestern beating Iowa annoying! We're talking Soulja Bo annoying! We're talking...
...
...
(kills himself with a gun)
The Big Ten ads in general are awful
Last year it was hip hop.
This year it's slam poetry.
Next year? Grunge, man.
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2008 9:02 PM CST up reply actions
Gottleib is your MVP @ ESPN
I saw Gottlieb play against Creighton when he was at OSU...he missed alot of shots...now I know why...his nose prevents him from seeing the basket..
Plastic surgery works miracles
And he can pay for the nose job with his roommate's credit card.
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2008 9:07 PM CST up reply actions
Looby's FT shooting
clang..clang..clang goes the trolley...ring..ring..ring goes the bell...
Thanks, ESPN
for telling a heartwarming story about Jake Kelly and Todd Lickliter rather than explain why exactly there was an offensive foul called.
I was expecting them to give us a shot of
Deanna Favre
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2008 9:18 PM CST up reply actions
Did you hear
Jerome Bettis is from Detroit?
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2008 9:22 PM CST up reply actions
By the way, big thanks to jebus
He has sacrificed his liveblog experience for the night in order to grapple with the SBN software; he's putting up new ads and shit for us.
We salute you, JHC.
Godspeed, Jebus
We stand beside you. And, by that, I mean we watch basketball and make sarcastic comments. It's what the internet was made for.
by Patrick Vint on Feb 14, 2008 9:23 PM CST up reply actions
For three consecutive games
Peterson repeatedly drives baseline, gets trapped, attempts the jump-pass to the opposite corner, and steps out of bounds.
This is unpossible!
I hate to say it, but what is Lick doing? He's not making adjustments. This is not time to get stubborn, broseph.
Also
Our merit badges are up!
As are our new ads.
I am going out to Wal-Mart tomorrow and buying the biggest t-shirt I can find!
That's the worst play I've ever seen
Loose ball on a rebound, three Hawkeyes near it, all of them defer to each other, Michigan grabs it, then somehow falls out of bounds with the ball.
All it needed was circus music.
That's the worst play I've ever seen
Am I happy with the improvement that this team has displayed over the season? Yes.
Do I feel the uncontrolable desire to down a bottle of Kettle One everytime I think about them? Yes.
by three and out the kok story on Feb 14, 2008 9:42 PM CST up reply actions
Does Gottleib have some tie to Michigan?
It's like listening to Robert Traylor call this game.
That is, if Robert Traylor would stop eating chicken wings long enough to say something.
worst part?
Effort. We lost because of a lack of effort.
That may be the first time I can say that all year.
Worst game since the pre-season
We played good defense in the first half, but I was starting to believe that we were improving. I guess I was wrong. Worst loss since LSU-Monroe.
by BradBanks4ever on Feb 15, 2008 12:16 AM CST reply actions
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