MMMMMM, CAKE. DELICIOUS CAKE

Sure, Iowa's 4-8, and we've conditioned ourselves to believe that's not so bad. And it isn't. As late as the turn of the year, there was a legitimate discussion about which of the Iowa/Michigan/Northwestern triumvirate was the worst (turns out it's NU. by a lot). So we're exceeding expectations, and that's neato!

But 4-8 isn't much as record books go. It's not even close to .500. So would you be interested in seeing that conference mark improve? Yes? You would?

Good, because Iowa is going to finish the regular season with the conference's most ludicrous stretch of the year. Sure, there's no way to empirically prove a statement like that, but just look at the last six games of the slate:

(170) Michigan at (144) Iowa
(206) Northwestern at (144) Iowa
(144) Iowa at (13) Michigan St.
(144) Iowa at (155) Penn St.
(125) Illinois at (144) Iowa
(144) Iowa at (206) Northwestern


You haven't won a BXI game this year? Reeeeallly?

The parenthetical numbers are RPI. Perfect indicator of future performance? No, but nothing is. By that standard, could Iowa win 5 of the last 6 games of the conference season? Quite possibly. Will Iowa win 5 of the last 6 games of the conference season? Unfuckinglikely. I mean, yes, we're totally killing Northwestern and Michigan. Those guys ought to be relegated. But it's still Iowa, a 7-man team working through a shell of an offense and trying to survive on fumes until the end of the season. The Illinois game, even though it's senior day for JJ and the New Gornographer, doesn't stack up very well in Iowa's favor.

Then there's the trip to Penn State; yes, PSU is dogshit terrible, but conference road games are tricky endeavors, especially coming off what promises to be a most lopsided, brutal affair in East Lansing. Suppose Iowa starts off cold, misses their first nine shots, Peterson's in foul trouble and the crowd of dozens gets into the game... you never know...


THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN EXHIBITION! AN EXHIBITION!!

....nah, we're going to kill them too.

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